I’m going to have to give up work due to no childcare

[NoChildCareNoJob]

Single parent to DD aged 7.

No family help at all. ExH won’t help in the week at all.

School wraparound is full with no space, waiting list closed with over 100 children on it.

The two local Nurseries with wraparounds that drop at DDs school are full with no waiting lists as they don’t operate them.

The two childminders that go to DDs school have no space.

It’s a recurring theme around the area, with schools and private Nurseries full often with bulge classes and/or waiting lists.

I’m currently working 10am-3pm around the schoolrun but core hours are 8am-3.30pm, so I need wraparound. I’ve been given until after half term (next week) to sort it out and switch back to core hours. I work 3 days a week.

I don’t earn enough for a Nanny, and I literally have no-one else to help me. Live in a tiny 2 bed flat and go to the office 1 day a week so can’t easily have DD here while I work. The holiday club she goes to only operates in school holidays so no solution there either.

What an earth can I do other than giving up my job? I worked so hard for it after I split with ExH (due to his violence and control) I feel like I’m losing that part of me. I’ve been searching for term time only school hours jobs but they’re few and far between too.

So any suggestions while I write my resignation letter?

Have you spoken to her school and explained the situation?
They may have a couple of ideas?
A few years ago I worked in a school, we had 2 TAs who took a couple of different children home with them after school and provided after school care on a childminder/nanny basis. Extra paid work for the TA and continued care for the child.
It worked really well.
It is worth a try? Good luck OP. I hope you get something sorted out in time.

Go back to your employer and push for 10-3 over five days a week. They have set a precedent allowing you to work those hours for this long. Do not resign, because that will stop you from being able to claim benefits.

It's really tough, but I hope you will find a childcare solution, as jobs that fit around school hours are like gold dust.

Have you requested the register of childminders from your local council?

Good luck with your meeting this morning, OP.

Do not resign.

I

Op do you live near a University at all? Many uni kids would do a job like this for you to get a bit of regular income that can work around their studies.

I would look at moving your hours so you can do drop off and then look for a teen / older lady / childcare student to pick her up and watch her until you finish work.

I've had the job since January but I've only been doing these hours since September, before I was on core hours because my neighbours would help with childcare if I helped them but they've now moved house and live too far to help.

My mum won't help because she apparently told me not to marry ExH so it's my own fault I'm struggling. I have no contact with my dad, that's his choice not mine.

Can't move out of the area, ExHs contact is court ordered and he would take me back to court over it, and even though he only sees her for 24 hours EOW it's classed as an established pattern and as I don't have an easy way of getting DD back here for contact he'd have a good argument to stop me moving.

So I've got to find a solution that works. DD isn't on the waiting list for any of the wraparounds because I didn't need to add her until before the summer holidays and the lists where already closed. One of the nurseries DD attended so they know her so will let me know if a space comes up. Didn't see either of the childminders on the school run to ask. Will also have a search of the websites recommended here and the ofsted website and see if I can find another childminder I might not know about.

Have posted in the class facebook but no replies yet.

Waiting for my manager to ring but I am working today so might not update until after school.

Fingers crossed for your manager helping you with a flexible working pattern.

I haven’t RTFT so this has probably been suggested a dozen times already, but are there any other part timers at your work with children who’d be willing to help out and save themselves some money on childcare? Two of my colleagues have teamed up to do childcare for the other, although they do work weekends, so it balances itself out in terms of hours.

Back sorry been one of those days where I've been rushed off my feet.

Manager is going to refer it to HR, she's happy with me working the hours I do and picking up an extra day or two a week but it's not up to her, she will put in the referral she's happy with my hours.

Still no reply on Facebook but will make another post on a different local group that might be able to help me.

Did manage to speak to one of the childminders at pick up but she's full even when DD gets to 8 as she's full with lots of under 4s right now, she's taken my number in case a space comes up though. She will ask around and see if any of her other childminding and ex-CM friends would do the morning run for me she seemed to think one of them at least will do it as she's semi retired but after some extra money.

Will keep trying, but I am still prepared to give up work if I can't find anything even if that means no money from UC, I'll find a way.

Ask if you can continue your current arrangement or if you can pick up the core hours in the evening after your DD is in bed. Or if you can do four days instead of three with your times. Focus on what you are delivering as well.

During holidays you could try to do some with another parent. So you have their child and they have your DD.

I know how tough it is. I hope you can keep your job.

@user1471538283

Ask if you can continue your current arrangement or if you can pick up the core hours in the evening after your DD is in bed. Or if you can do four days instead of three with your times. Focus on what you are delivering as well.

During holidays you could try to do some with another parent. So you have their child and they have your DD.

I know how tough it is. I hope you can keep your job.

I have holiday childcare @user1471538283 the local high school hires out it's hall and fields to a company who run a holiday club because the place is so big (1.5k kids at the secondary) they have enough space to offer over 200 places, DDs never not got a place in the holiday club.

OP the worst thing you can do is give up work. I was a single mum of 2 under 10yrs old but carried on working full time, which wasn’t easy. See whether you can get your hours spread over 5 days is you can. Pursue this with HR. If you give up your job, it’s harder to get a decent paying job later on and may cause issues with your benefits.

I would submit a formal flexible working request op. Forcing you back to core hours could be discrimination, especially if the alternative is you giving up your job.

@Glitterybug

I would submit a formal flexible working request op. Forcing you back to core hours could be discrimination, especially if the alternative is you giving up your job.

Yes, OP, please don’t give up your job. Leave the ball in HR’s court. If they dismiss you they will have to go through the correct procedure. Try not to be pressured into resigning. I agree that it would put you in a difficult position regarding benefits.

If it helps, I couldn't find a childminder who could do all the days I needed when I first went back to work, but managed to get 1 day with one and some with another. Not ideal, but then I was first in the queue for additional days when she had spaces come up as I was already one of her customers.

Speak with Pregnant Than Screwed to really find out about your rights at work & to make sure you are on a good footing for your flexible working request. Their helpline is very useful & was set up for this sort of situation.

Depending on how HR react to my managers referral I am going to ask to do either 10-2.30 across 5 days, or 9.30-3 across 4 days and catch up with any paperwork after DDs in bed (which I already do anyway).

If they don't react well, then I'll keep trying to find some childcare. There are other people who do my job in the department but we all work on different projects that run at the same time, and all have different clients but in theory I could job share or swap with a colleague and do their job and them mine without any extra training so I can always put that too them.

Other than the manager there is one other parent in the team but she has a husband so works around him as well.

I agree worth a look at pregnant then screwed - they're all about women's rights in the workplace.

Would a friend at school be willing to pick your daughter up and drop her off/ home?
Maybe you could return the favour by having their child over to play sometimes at weekends?

I would 😊

Hi OP I was really stuck last year too. Can you do 08.30 till 2.30 4 days a week And offer to do longer hours in the school holidays. You could use a breakfast club at school.

There's a child minding website I used last year. I think childcare.co.uk I hope HR accept your request.

@Pea22ches

Hi OP I was really stuck last year too. Can you do 08.30 till 2.30 4 days a week And offer to do longer hours in the school holidays. You could use a breakfast club at school.

There's a child minding website I used last year. I think childcare.co.uk I hope HR accept your request.

@Pea22ches There is no room in breakfast club at either school or either of the two nurseries that have wraparound and drop off and collect from DDs school, no room at all. School waiting list is closed with over 100 children on it.

There’s some fab advice on here. I’ll add to those who said don’t give up your job. I’m a single mum too, working FT and was completely stuck for childcare that synced with the shifts I used to work. I’m a nurse (on a very busy and acute hospital ward). I had to change my start/finish times to coincide with wraparound care times (I’m also a single parent).

I never thought that they’d agree to it, but they did (initially on a trial and then permanent when they realised that it worked well for the ward). They told me that they’d rather have me on the ward working those hours, than not at all. They also realised that I am reliable and a hard worker, and they said that was worth it to them. It hasn’t stopped promotion either as I’m now a Ward Sister. They know that when my DC are older and more independent/can be safely left at home, I’ll go back to working normal shift pattern - so current arrangement isn’t forever - and that I’ll stay working for the ward. I was bloody lucky that they were able to look at the bigger picture, and realise that one day, my kids won’t need wraparound care.

I’d talk to HR, and say similar. It’s in the company’s interest to keep you and help you do those hours. In return, they’d have a happy member of staff, who is reliable/hardworking and will stay long term. I know how bloody hard it is to try and source reliable childcare (and how stressful it is!).

Some of the parents in my daughters class asked a TA to do wraparound care and that worked brilliantly for them. I would ask the school about this. I wish you all the very best xx

No news from HR yet but I might have sorted one of my WFH days.

Two of DDs classmates do an activity with her on one of my WFH days, the mums take it in turns to pick them both up from school but it's not all the time, it's only every 3-4 weeks. They're happy for me to join in this swap and take DD every activity night as long as I do it at least twice a term for them which I should be able to swing with my boss.

So two nights to sort.

That's good news.

This kind of dilemma is so incredibly stressful and makes you so resentful of the other parent blithely swanning around without a care in the world.

Ahhh that's a long waiting list!

What about Facebook can you search local child minders in your area?