I’m going to have to give up work due to no childcare

[NoChildCareNoJob]

Single parent to DD aged 7.

No family help at all. ExH won’t help in the week at all.

School wraparound is full with no space, waiting list closed with over 100 children on it.

The two local Nurseries with wraparounds that drop at DDs school are full with no waiting lists as they don’t operate them.

The two childminders that go to DDs school have no space.

It’s a recurring theme around the area, with schools and private Nurseries full often with bulge classes and/or waiting lists.

I’m currently working 10am-3pm around the schoolrun but core hours are 8am-3.30pm, so I need wraparound. I’ve been given until after half term (next week) to sort it out and switch back to core hours. I work 3 days a week.

I don’t earn enough for a Nanny, and I literally have no-one else to help me. Live in a tiny 2 bed flat and go to the office 1 day a week so can’t easily have DD here while I work. The holiday club she goes to only operates in school holidays so no solution there either.

What an earth can I do other than giving up my job? I worked so hard for it after I split with ExH (due to his violence and control) I feel like I’m losing that part of me. I’ve been searching for term time only school hours jobs but they’re few and far between too.

So any suggestions while I write my resignation letter?

@emmathedilemma

Could you do shorter hours over more days? i.e. the equivalent of 3 days hours spread over 4 shorter days to enable you to do the school run. It's a rubbish situation to be in, i totally feel for you but it does sound like you've explored all options does you DD have a friend who's mum might be willing to help you out (maybe for a small fee?) If you're near a university or college then a student might be a cheaper option than a nanny.

i think the shorter days would work best for you, then you also wont be worrying about fitting everything in

unless your commute is large, you'll save money too

Don't rule out a nanny being too much. You don't need a live in nanny, so a nanny who already has her main job with another family might be happy to pick up a few extra hours for three mornings. Or an au pair type person. Or teenager. If they look after your child in your house they don't need to be registered in the same way a childminder does.

Do you have a class WhatsApp group? When I was at primary, one of my friends used to come home with me and have tea with us a few times a week as her DM was a carer and worked odd hours. She used to pay my mum too.
It was about 30 years ago though and I think the law changed for if someone takes the child back to their house. A couple of police officers got in trouble for it IIRC.

If you did core hours before how did you manage childcare then?

Definitely don't resign without speaking to your manager.

Emphasise your commitment to the time and proper fewer hours over more data as a solution. Emphasise it should only be till DD turns 8 and the childminder numbers increase. It's not worth their while advertising/recruiting/training if this is a 9month problem

I've emailed my manager to ask if she has any suggestions and offering to up my hours in school holidays (where they;re usually begging people to do the hours) because I have childcare from 7.45am until 5.30pm on those days.

What do you do in the school holidays? I really feel for you, what an absolute shit her father is. She will look back and realise how much you did for her though. I speak from experience!

@Ohshittt

What do you do in the school holidays? I really feel for you, what an absolute shit her father is. She will look back and realise how much you did for her though. I speak from experience!

There's a holiday club at the local secondary school but it's only open in the holidays, it doesn't even run on inset days as they're all different across the local school.

Due to where it's held it has a higher capacity then individual wrap around. And DD absolutely loves going and seeing her friends from other schools.

Can you ask your ex's mother ?

No idea what your relationship is but it might shame him into it?

@crackofdoom.......
My kids are young adults now, so I'm WAY out of touch.
I had a childminder when I went back to work after having my son. I adored her, but she couldn't take my subsequent daughter as she had no official room for another.
So I found a childminder who could take them both. I wasn't happy with her, nor with the rushed drop-offs and pick-ups.
So I advertised, (no social media then!), in the local baby clinic, playgroups, etc, for a daytime nanny. I found a fabulous young mum whom we agreed could bring her own toddler with her. Like you, I worked 3 days.
My nanny came to the house, took them to school, and picked them up. She had them all day during school holidays.
She wasn't a qualified nanny, and nannies still don't HAVE to be OFSTED registered, but if they are it's possible to get help with childcare costs, 'though I don't know the details.
A colleague of mine also had a daytime nanny, whom she shared with another family, which worked really well.
My nanny was no more expensive than a childminder.
Would this be a realistic option for you?

@LaurieFairyCake

Can you ask your ex's mother ?

No idea what your relationship is but it might shame him into it?

Absolutely not, she says she does too much as it is providing rooms for 1 night EOW for DD/ExH and she blames me for that as well (despite her son having a criminal record and the jury at the trial for an attack on me unanimously finding him guilty).

Would the school not have a list of childminders etc?
Any of your DDs close friends parents that could help?

Can you see if there is a local 6th former who can help ? We have one who does a bit of homework too - should be fine if you are in the house too as can keep an eye on them a bit too (not sole charge 100% of the time) you can also request under law flexible working provision so you could do 4/5 days of the hours you can do and not the core hours. Try have to respond as to why you can’t do it. Or you could ask for a sabbatical and take some time to sort it out. Hope you find a solution.

I had success going to five days a week instead but shorter hours. I'm sorry you're in this position and hope your manager will be flexible.

Like someone posted above it might be worth posting on childcare.co.uk

Someone may have availability. The other options would be seeing if the other school parents could help, though you've said it's mainly grandparents

It's a horrible situation to be in @NoChildCareNoJob.

I would definitely ask your manager/HR about spreading your hours across more days, so if you are currently doing 10-3 and need to make that up by 6 hours can you do 10-1 on the other 2 days so you are still doing your full hours but spread across the week? If you apply under flexible working laws they have to at least give it consideration Nd as you have been doing the 10-3 hours there is precedence set for that. Especially if you offer to cover outside of those hours when the holiday club is available during holidays.

If you resign it will impact your UC claim as you will have effectively made yourself unemployed so there is a chance they would sanction you, although a proper benefits advisor like CAB might be better placed to give you the correct info

Try Korukids? All DBS checked etc so it’s safer than a random.

Korukids is specifically designed for people who are looking for wraparound care - we’ve used them.

I have a part time nanny who is a Mum and brings her kids for the wrap around care. Could that be an option?

This happened to a friend of mine.
She was unable to get suitable childcare.

She's now a childminder herself after school, walks kids home or something I think, and runs a toddler group weekday mornings term time. Not ideal but managed to stay afloat which is the main thing!

Good luck to you!

I paid another friendly parent the same amount as we would have paid for Breakfast Club to have dc from 7:50 and take to school. It worked well for everyone until a place in breakfast club became available.

Is there anyone you could approach who might be interested?

Can you give an approx location? As if in Manchester I know a great teen that will help

I'd ask round on your road. See if there's a parent with kids at the same school who would do it for some extra cash or a trustworthy teenager who could walk her to school on their own way. Teenagers are usually keen on earning some money.

Rather than asking your manager for suggestions, provide her/him with solutions. Explain how committed you are, how you really want to keep working but you have a temporary childcare problem and are on several waiting lists for nurseries/after school care. Suggest a temporary (6 month?) flexible working arrangement where you do your hours over 4-5 days/do hours in the evening/weekends with a view to working your core hours by X date. Provide solutions to possible probs eg clients can leave messages/emails, out of office can detail when next available. You need to demonstrate how this will work, rather than ask them to solve it for you.

Could you work your hours over 5 days? 9.30- 3?