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Original poster

I’m going to have to give up work due to no childcare

111 replies

NoChildCareNoJob · 18/10/2021 17:09

Single parent to DD aged 7.

No family help at all. ExH won’t help in the week at all.

School wraparound is full with no space, waiting list closed with over 100 children on it.

The two local Nurseries with wraparounds that drop at DDs school are full with no waiting lists as they don’t operate them.

The two childminders that go to DDs school have no space.

It’s a recurring theme around the area, with schools and private Nurseries full often with bulge classes and/or waiting lists.

I’m currently working 10am-3pm around the schoolrun but core hours are 8am-3.30pm, so I need wraparound. I’ve been given until after half term (next week) to sort it out and switch back to core hours. I work 3 days a week.

I don’t earn enough for a Nanny, and I literally have no-one else to help me. Live in a tiny 2 bed flat and go to the office 1 day a week so can’t easily have DD here while I work. The holiday club she goes to only operates in school holidays so no solution there either.

What an earth can I do other than giving up my job? I worked so hard for it after I split with ExH (due to his violence and control) I feel like I’m losing that part of me. I’ve been searching for term time only school hours jobs but they’re few and far between too.

So any suggestions while I write my resignation letter?

OP posts:
Elieza · 18/10/2021 18:45

If nobody would do it for money could you volunteer to another mum to mind their kids at a time that suits them on days you don’t work, ie you take my dc at x times on x day and I’ll take yours at y time on y day type thing? Help each other.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 18/10/2021 18:49

There must be other families in the same predicament with a 100-long waiting list for after school club. I'd ask around and try to make a solution with one or two other families. Either a childcare swap - where you each pick up the others children on your non-work days. Or club together for a shared Nanny/ babysitter to take the kids to one of your houses. Really ask around - talk to everyone you even vaguely know, post in school WhatsApp groups.

Definitely don't resign from your job. It's a matter of time until you can get childcare. Stay there and keep a dialogue with your manager. If you resign you may really struggle to find something with even this degree of flexibility. If you don't resign and emphasise you are finding a solution, they may well just let you stay on rather than firing you.

How long have you been employed for?

Somebodylikeyew · 18/10/2021 18:52

Your WFH days i think you could make work tbh. Your DD is old enough to sit quietly in front of the tv for an hour in a bedroom if you need her to.

You could also try a combination of the following:
Ask to do your hours spread over more days
Take annual leave to cover the trickiest days
Take unpaid parental leave as much as you can
Ask to start early (6:30? 7?) or work into the evening / over lunch in order to be able to duck out for 30 mins morning and afternoon.
Ask to do your hours over a monthly basis rather than weekly. Make them up in the evenings or at weekends if possible.
Honestly, if it’s a good job you want to keep for a stopgap I’d hire help even if it meant a small loan for the short term. Longer term i still think that would be better than benefits and having to find something new in the future.
Ask everyone at school. Offer to swap childcare days. Offer to pay. Ask the school secretary if any TAs want to earn a bit extra.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Childcare & nursery Families
garlictwist · 18/10/2021 18:58

What about a local student? When I was at primary school my mum used to pay a student to collect me from school and stay at home with me until she got home.

LynetteScavo · 18/10/2021 19:00

I also think asking at the local college - those doing a childcare course probably aren't in all day every day like with a 6th form school.

Roguehair · 18/10/2021 19:02

OP could you speak to your employer and offer to work 22.5hrs over 5 days instead? So 4.5hrs a day? 10-2.30? That means no childcare during term time, however don’t know how that would affect your other costs eg travel.

sisteract21 · 18/10/2021 19:11

You should be entitled to a reasonable adjustment by your manager - take it to higher management or hr if you need to.

Could you work from home and log on earlier in the mornings then do the school run and log on again in the evening when it suits you? It might be a lot to take on though

CareerConcerns1999 · 18/10/2021 19:15

Put in a flexible working request - 22.5 hours over 5 days term time then their choice of spread of hours during school holidays.

Original poster
NoChildCareNoJob · 18/10/2021 19:23

I asked in my email to my manager if there was a way of keeping these hours I'm doing and me maybe working an extra few hours another day, I've also offered to up my hours in the school holidays and to take on an extra day EOW when DDs at her dads for the weekend.

OP posts:
Gothichouse40 · 18/10/2021 19:27

Just a thought but is there some kind of childcare registry? Would your local library or community centre know about childminders?

Clymene · 18/10/2021 19:27

I would also advertise on childcare.co.

I found a nursery nursing student to look after my child a couple of days when there was no breakfast club availability - she was really reliable and it fit round her college hours.

Beautiful3 · 18/10/2021 19:29

I feel so sorry for you because I know how difficult it is, without help. I had to give up my job too, due to childcare issues. Can you put a request into hr first, asking for reduced hours. If they turn it down, then hand in your notice. I wish you the best of luck. Flowers

vickyc90 · 18/10/2021 19:34

Do you have a class Facebook page or watsapp group? Me and my husband work shifts as do a lot of parents I would post on your class group as if anyone can help you out even temp until you sort something or a parent might know someone who has spaces you haven't thought about. How long do you get off sick, see your GP about a sick note for all the stress and look for something else

Original poster
NoChildCareNoJob · 18/10/2021 19:39

@vickyc90

Do you have a class Facebook page or watsapp group? Me and my husband work shifts as do a lot of parents I would post on your class group as if anyone can help you out even temp until you sort something or a parent might know someone who has spaces you haven't thought about. How long do you get off sick, see your GP about a sick note for all the stress and look for something else
SSP kicks in after 10 days on full pay, I could survive on SSP just but it'd be tight.

We have a class facebook actually thank you, it's a bit old now as there's 2 classes per year and some of the parents have children in the other class but it's worth a shot, I'd completely forgotten about it.

Manager has text to say she's seen my email and will call me in the morning to discuss it, her husband works away a lot so I'm hoping she'll be sympathetic and helpful.

OP posts:
sisteract21 · 18/10/2021 20:25

I hope she is but also remember that you have rights and they need to try and accommodate you.

Have a read up on your rights tonight so you know where you stand if she says anything unexpected or is refusing to budge

oohmama · 18/10/2021 20:55

It's so fucking shit and a women's problem

I'm so upset and angry for you op!

:(

KitchenKrisis · 18/10/2021 21:54

Sister act 2.

Yes, legally they must make reasonable adjustments for you esp as it's a small over lap. They must tread very carefully legally, they may not even realise this m

WaltzingBetty · 18/10/2021 21:57

@NoChildCareNoJob

Not accommodating you would likely be seen as indirect sex discrimination

www.brownejacobson.com/health/training-and-resources/blogs/2021/06/flexible-working-childcare-and-indirect-sex-discrimination-important-reminder

It would be worth pursuing with HR if your manager is not flexible

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 18/10/2021 22:05

[quote WaltzingBetty]@NoChildCareNoJob

Not accommodating you would likely be seen as indirect sex discrimination

www.brownejacobson.com/health/training-and-resources/blogs/2021/06/flexible-working-childcare-and-indirect-sex-discrimination-important-reminder

It would be worth pursuing with HR if your manager is not flexible [/quote]
I was going to suggest this too. Have you out in a flexible working request with five days of school hours rather than three linger days?

gonnabeok · 18/10/2021 22:19

I know a few mums who actually advertised for a retired person to help with this as a mum's help and they had lots of applicants. Could you place some adverts in a library, local newspaper or local hall? They came to their homes, took care of them, took them to school and picked them up at the end of the day.

waterrat · 18/10/2021 22:24

Hi op. Do reach out in your community. In the past I have used local teenagers and students to do school pick up and drop off. Another possibility is an older mum whose kids are grown up a bit.

Can you write a message and get it into all your school WhatsApp and also put it on the local Facebook group stating exactly what you need ?

Have a look at Koru kids and childcare.co.uk

spotcheck · 18/10/2021 22:27

@CareerConcerns1999

Put in a flexible working request - 22.5 hours over 5 days term time then their choice of spread of hours during school holidays.
This
ittakes2 · 18/10/2021 22:27

Become a child minder yourself or move to a place where your daughter can get access to childcare.
Or you could find work as a parent's helper. I have twins and I once hired a mother's help with a 7 year old daughter she would bring with her.

DerAlteMann · 18/10/2021 22:29

Frankly, if the situation is as bad as you say in your area OP, I'd become a childminder.

Fabvegetablegrower · 18/10/2021 22:54

The OP has said she is unable to become a Childminder because she lives in a small two bed flat. This is further up the post.