Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Bitten at school

70 replies

spookybitches · 13/10/2021 19:10

DS started reception this year so I'm still fairly new to what happens in terms of how challenging behaviour is managed at school. I received a call today from the school nurse asking me to come to collect DS as he had been bitten on his back by another child. They wanted me to take him to the doctors to get the wound cleaned, as the bite had broken his skin. I asked how it happened and was told that it was completely unprovoked, DS was sat at a chair and said child wanted to sit in the chair DS was sitting on. When DS said no, that was when he was bitten.

Can I ask any teachers out there what the repercussions would be for this child if he was at your school? And parents, what would you expect to happen? I'm really upset about it as it must've been quite forceful to have broken skin under a polo shirt. Also this is not the first time I've heard about this child's behaviour. DS has mentioned him a few times about how he pushes and kicks people.

I've not heard anything back from the teacher yet as to what their plan of action is, but I would like to understand what to expect and what your opinion would be if you were in my position. Thank you!

OP posts:
Sirzy · 13/10/2021 19:14

What, if any, punishment the child in question will get will depend on many factors. School rightly won’t tell you what these are or what happens next.

What you would be right to do is ask them what they are going to do to keep your child safe from similar attacks in future. They have a duty of care to all pupils to keep them safe.

Hope he is ok now

User5827372728 · 13/10/2021 19:17

I would be livid!

I’m secondary but any physical violence would end in an exclusion, and I would hope so at reception age to!

I would want to know how they are safeguarding the kids from the biter and would want to know what the consequences were for that child

ImJustMum · 13/10/2021 19:20

I could of written this a few years ago. DS was bitten twice by a girl in his class, the 2nd time almost reduced me to tears on pick up. Shed bitten his chest and there was a horrific bruise and i could count every single one of her teeth, that was through a polo and jumper. I asked if said child was in tomorrow, was told yes. So i kept DS home and said i would like to speak to someone ie head teacher. We had a conversation and explained i understood there was processes that needed to be followed but equally DS needed to be safeguarded aswell and not be terrified to come to school. The scenario in which he was bitten was the same both times and it could of been prevented. I asked that more care was taken with DS around the child and if it continued to happen, i would be removing him from their school. Backed up with an email detailing our conversation and concerns and it didnt happen again.

gogohm · 13/10/2021 19:24

They cannot tell you about punishments, sen concerns etc but be assured they will be taking it seriously, it will be reported in the official way. Every child is entitled to an education and sometimes they arrive at school without them having been in other settings where sen can be picked up, there's also the possibility that the home life is an issue - all is confidential but the school will be working to get assessments done and either support put in place or the child moved to a more appropriate setting depending on the outcome of the assessment.

Plotato · 13/10/2021 19:29

@User5827372728

I would be livid!

I’m secondary but any physical violence would end in an exclusion, and I would hope so at reception age to!

I would want to know how they are safeguarding the kids from the biter and would want to know what the consequences were for that child

It absolutely will not end in exclusion. Children bite others in reception relatively frequently. In 10 years of teaching, there have been perhaps 5 fixed term exclusions I've been aware of (across all years in the schools I've taught in), all for considerably more severe behaviours. I'm not passing an opinion on that, just managing expectations. The child likely has SN and the school will be desperate to find a solution. Honestly, they are probably more upset by it than you - it is so, so hard when you have a child like this in your class and if there were a simple solution then your child would never have been bitten in the first place.
CottageOnTheHill · 13/10/2021 19:29

I would ask for a meeting with the HT. You need to ask what they’re doing to keep your child safe at school.

OrchidFlakes · 13/10/2021 19:31

Schools all run on processes so check the school website for their behavior policy. Make sure every conversation you have about it, you follow up in writing.
Ask for a joint meeting with class teacher and head teacher. Take photos of the injury to take with you.
In my experience of you handle it professionally and seriously then schools respond the same way.
Good luck, such an awful thing for one so little and need to school.

Maryann1975 · 13/10/2021 19:42

I echo what @Plotato says above. I imagine The school Staff are really upset this has happened. Unfortunately there is not enough money in any area of education and SEN is as underfunded as every other area. Without knowing the child/situation, it could be that everyone around the child knows that the place in a mainstream school is wholly unsuitable, but unfortunately there isn’t a place Available in a More appropriate setting, they don’t have funding for a 1-2-1 and so everyone struggles, But most of all the child whose needs are not being met appropriately at school and the children around them who are subject to being bitten etc.

HelpMeWithMyHip · 13/10/2021 19:43

@User5827372728

I would be livid!

I’m secondary but any physical violence would end in an exclusion, and I would hope so at reception age to!

I would want to know how they are safeguarding the kids from the biter and would want to know what the consequences were for that child

Don't be ridiculous. This child could be 4 ffs. Yes it's unacceptable but exclusion?!!

OP as long as the school are ensuring that it won't happen again then there really is not much else that can be done. I am sure the child was told it was wrong and not to do it again and their parents would have been told

What exactly do you want to happen?

Thesearmsofmine · 13/10/2021 19:46

OP I would focus on speaking to the school about what they will do to ensure this doesn’t happen again. The other child will be dealt with depending on the circumstances which will be confidential.

Justajot · 13/10/2021 19:55

My DD was bitten on the face in reception. As others have said, it's important to focus on how the school can keep your child safe. In our case it was during a particular, fairly stressful activity, so I asked that my DD was not next to the child during that activity and another child was placed between them instead.

Whilst it's horrible to be bitten, I still think I'd rather be the parent of the child who is bitten than the biter. That must be really stressful. In our case, I knew who the biter was from nursery and felt really sad for that child as the parents were so detached and remote, it wasn't at all surprising that the child was stressed and unhappy.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 13/10/2021 19:56

They will not tell you what consequences the child had or what issues or concerns there might be. It's an unrealistic expectation to know, more than a basic it's being dealt with, or at most that the other child's parents have also been informed . Also, what the consequences will be entirely depends on the circumstances. We had kids start reception with the mental age of a toddler so the usual consequences were pointless.

Your focus must be what they are doing to keep your child safe. This can take many forms, extra staff, different groups, more supervision etc. You can address this with the class teacher or the head. I hope they do take it seriously and they'll make you feel reassured and your DS and other children will be safe.

User5827372728 · 13/10/2021 19:59

@HelpMeWithMyHip

Don't be ridiculous. This child could be 4 ffs. Yes it's unacceptable but exclusion?!!

Regardless of age if they hurt someone they shouldn’t be allowed in.

Minnie888 · 13/10/2021 20:00

[quote User5827372728]@HelpMeWithMyHip

Don't be ridiculous. This child could be 4 ffs. Yes it's unacceptable but exclusion?!!

Regardless of age if they hurt someone they shouldn’t be allowed in.[/quote]
Most ridiculous response ever Hmm

MatildaIThink · 13/10/2021 20:01

This happened to one of my friends children in school and the school were utterly useless, after the third bite my friend referred the other child and the school to social services and the school finally bucked their ideas up and took action, but it does seem that some schools take the view that parents should accept their child might be bitten in school.

User5827372728 · 13/10/2021 20:04

@Minnie888

What is ridiculous is that we are sending them into school which should be a safe space and they are getting injured by another kid… that is what is ridiculous

HelpMeWithMyHip · 13/10/2021 20:04

[quote User5827372728]@HelpMeWithMyHip

Don't be ridiculous. This child could be 4 ffs. Yes it's unacceptable but exclusion?!!

Regardless of age if they hurt someone they shouldn’t be allowed in.[/quote]
So what do you think should happen to the biter then? Just not go to school at all because of an incident in reception when they were 4? My youngest hit someone ove the head with a dinosaur another child tried to snatch off him.. maybe we should have just taken him out of school right there and then

MatildaIThink · 13/10/2021 20:05

@HelpMeWithMyHip
Whilst I do not agree that they should be excluded at four, there is a world of difference between a four year old retaliating or reacting to a confrontation vs unprovoked biting.

User5827372728 · 13/10/2021 20:06

@HelpMeWithMyHip

They should be kept home until the school puts support in place to prevent it happening again. OP said this isn’t the first time she’s heard of this kids bad behaviour

danni0509 · 13/10/2021 20:06

@User5827372728

I would be livid!

I’m secondary but any physical violence would end in an exclusion, and I would hope so at reception age to!

I would want to know how they are safeguarding the kids from the biter and would want to know what the consequences were for that child

Secondary teacher or secondary pupil? Confused
User5827372728 · 13/10/2021 20:07

@danni0509

😂

HelpMeWithMyHip · 13/10/2021 20:08

[quote MatildaIThink]@HelpMeWithMyHip
Whilst I do not agree that they should be excluded at four, there is a world of difference between a four year old retaliating or reacting to a confrontation vs unprovoked biting.[/quote]
Yes I know. I was referring to the 'hurting' comment user gave. I agree it needs dealing with. But excluding the child isn't going to help the situation at all

HelpMeWithMyHip · 13/10/2021 20:10

[quote User5827372728]@HelpMeWithMyHip

They should be kept home until the school puts support in place to prevent it happening again. OP said this isn’t the first time she’s heard of this kids bad behaviour[/quote]
That won't help one bit with the child's behaviour. They might be overwhelmed child who has never been in a setting like a school before. Taking them out of it will just cause more problems. The school need to have things in place to safe guard the children but exclusion at such a young age is ridiculous.

Original poster
spookybitches · 13/10/2021 20:11

@HelpMeWithMyHip I just want them to take it more seriously than they have done with this child's behaviour. Every one of my DS's friends refer to him as the 'naughty boy that hits people' so I'm assuming what they've done, if anything so far, hasn't worked. Maybe a talk from the head of year might make him see things in a more serious manner.

OP posts:
User5827372728 · 13/10/2021 20:12

@HelpMeWithMyHip

We will have to agree to disagree.

I work with secondary kids who are at risk of permanent exclusions and so much of the behaviour stems from seemingly getting away with so much at primary school.

Most 4 year olds know not to bite. My 2 year old does.