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Original poster

When to start charging children rent

101 replies

Qwertykeys · 10/10/2021 08:57

Hi all , newbie here. At what age do you start charging adult children rent ? Daughter is almost 19,works full time , and not charged rent ,.Her boyfriend lives with us and I change him £10 a week , they do buy all of there own food . Should I start charging her ?

OP posts:
ProlesOnParole · 10/10/2021 10:37

I think your plan of charging and putting it towards a deposit is good. Better may be to just make it a condition that you don't charge on condition that she saves 30% of take home towards a deposit, just because it's putting more responsibility on her.

I don't see the point of charging if you don't need to. Ime the main lesson that teaches is that your parent is tight!

coldwarenigma · 10/10/2021 10:44

Once working FT and after child benefits had stopped we had to charge, couldn't afford not to...so I did a spreadsheet of household bills and split the bills that they also used by the number of adults in the house. They were happy with that.

DockOTheBay · 10/10/2021 10:45

If she if working full time then yes I think she should pay rent. Her boyfriend definitely should be paying utilities as his being there will increase your electricity and water bills (assuming he cooks, showers etc at your house)

Fdksyihfd · 10/10/2021 10:46

If they’re actively saving then charge them a nominal amount based on her earnings then give it back as a gift if you want.

Tenpintonpin · 10/10/2021 10:48

Daughter aside, I really don't understand why you are letting a grown man, who earns more than you and your partner combined, live in your house for (almost) free? It's bonkers, and honestly reflects quite badly on him - he should have the self-respect to want to support himself financially, and respect enough for you not to freeload.

BonnieGoWayward · 10/10/2021 10:55

I don't think it's age specific. I think they should make a reasonable contribution whenever they start full time work, be that 16 or 25.

In money terms it depends on where you are but I think probably in the region of what they'd pay to rent a room elsewhere plus a small amount for food. So for us I think it would be around £70 a week...I'd probably suggest £250 a month.

I'm also planning to keep this aside, unknown to them, and gift this back when they move out.

PearLime · 10/10/2021 11:04

I would say to them that they don't have to pay rent.

However, tell them that they must save at least 1/3 of their take home pay, as this is what they will be spending on rent/ life (realistically probably more).

They will thank you when they have thousands saved for their first home.

Siriisatwat · 10/10/2021 11:12

my ds is almost 19, only has a very part time job at the mo as he’s awaiting his emergency services apprenticeship to start very soon and is training everyday for the fitness test (all been held up due to covid).

I don’t take any money from him. When he’s in the emergency services he will be on a good wage. He’s really sensible. He’s not into clothes, going out a lot etc.

He wants to stay at home for a few years, my only stipulation is that if he stays at home, half his wages have to go straight into a savings account every month. Which he’s agreed to. We live in a cheapish part of the country, if he does that, he’s going to be very, very well set up for buying his own place few years.

I want him to be well set up in life, unlike us, just getting out first mortgage in early 40s! (We did live in London until last year though, so it was totally impossible).

Seasonschange · 10/10/2021 11:23

Something that has jumped out to me… your daughter is quite young to be buying a house with someone else. I’m not sure I’d want to encourage my child to go straight from living with mum and dad to a mortgage with someone else whilst she is still a teenager? I’m curious why you let him move in rather than expected him to rent somewhere. I felt very serious about my boyfriend at her age and spent a lot of time at my partners parents but I would have felt way to cheeky to suggest moving in!

Original poster
Qwertykeys · 10/10/2021 11:42

Hi seasonchange. He lived quite a distance from us , around a two hour trip to see each other. He started staying the odd night , and it ended up permanent. At the time I didn't think it wise to let my daughter jump feet first into renting, especially as they are likely to move to his home town . This would mean daughter having a long commute. I thought it best he moved in that way if the relationship failed he just moved back out .

OP posts:
MissCruellaDeVil · 10/10/2021 11:47

Never, I won't charge my children to live in their own home, I had them so I should fit the bill. It makes me feel sick that people would want to charge their own children to stay in the family home.

Theforest · 10/10/2021 11:49

I think when they start earning they should contribute. How much depends on what they earn.

Often parents help the money in a separate account and effectively save for them.

It's all very well letting them stay hoping they are saving to move out, but they could just be spending it all.

Cyw2018 · 10/10/2021 11:50

Assuming you don't need the money, charge a reasonable rate at the lower range of what they would expect to pay for lodgings locally, then save that money (or a percentage of it) without telling your kids, that way when they need money to buy a place or to get set up in a rental property you can gift that money back to them.

Original poster
Qwertykeys · 10/10/2021 11:55

Hi sirrsatwest
That sounds like a very good idea,I have said I expect them to save , and realise it will take some years to get a decent deposit. I don't fell comfortable stipulating an amount but trust they are saving. I could do something similar to you and say you live rent free , my contribution, as long as she saves X amount a month

OP posts:
SwedishEdith · 10/10/2021 11:57

How do you feel about the daughter's boyfriend living with you? Agree with PP about his lack of self-respect that he's earning that much more and is basically living rent free.

Original poster
Qwertykeys · 10/10/2021 12:02

Hi crurlla
My dilemma is she's not a child , she's a young adult. She earns as much as me . I don't want every penny she earns , but wonder were the cut off point is that she contibutes. She's fortunate we don't need to charge some parents don't have this chose once child benefit and benefits stop for them

OP posts:
Original poster
Qwertykeys · 10/10/2021 12:06

Hi sweedish.
It's a little strange having another person in the house , but in general it fine . We agreed on minimum rent just to cover the extra bills .

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 10/10/2021 12:07

I wouldn’t charge her. Not at 19 when she has just started her working life.

Notaroadrunner · 10/10/2021 12:11

I'd be charging him a lot more that £10 a week and charging her too. Im sure you won't charge full market rental amounts so they will still be able to save towards their own place. Once adults are working full time the need to pay their way. No point treating them like kids and paying for everything while they live in a false sense of reality. He's taking the piss by living with you for free - a tenner a week isn't charging him, it's an insult to you.

Original poster
Qwertykeys · 10/10/2021 12:11

Hi thought
She's been working since leaving school, appentaship , then a full time job .so she's had her own money for 3 years .

OP posts:
JoborPlay · 10/10/2021 12:17

To me it seems prudent to charge rent simply so they don't get used to having their dull income to do with as they choose.

Original poster
Qwertykeys · 10/10/2021 12:17

Hi notaroundrunner
Thanks for your post , you are correct in I wouldn't be charging no were near the going rate. And yes I think maybe I'm still treating her like a child . I think most seem in agreement I'm doing her no favours by teaching her the cost of running a home

OP posts:
Original poster
Qwertykeys · 10/10/2021 12:18

Not teaching

OP posts:
Siriisatwat · 10/10/2021 12:22

@Qwertykeys

Hi sirrsatwest That sounds like a very good idea,I have said I expect them to save , and realise it will take some years to get a decent deposit. I don't fell comfortable stipulating an amount but trust they are saving. I could do something similar to you and say you live rent free , my contribution, as long as she saves X amount a month
Or you take it from them and save it for them.

Because while I wouldn’t take rent from my child, I wouldn’t pay for everything while they were living the life of riley pissing every penny up the wall.

That being said, in your shoes I would be charging the boyfriend rent.

I wouldn’t charge my ds, but if a girlfriend moved in with him to my home, i’d very much expect her to pay.

Original poster
Qwertykeys · 10/10/2021 12:28

Thanks sirri
Very wise words, maybe I need to up his rent and tell DD she's rent free as long as she saves . Have a goal set for six months time

OP posts: