How do I change my fucked up attitude to food?

[Namechange768]

I'm so fed up. I have such a totally messed up attitude to food, have for years. I'm pre diabetic and totally addicted to sugar. I have cravings, then guilt, I skip meals, then binge, I eat in secret, I try low carbing then have chocolate. I have so many emotions around food and no self control.
I've tried and tried to have self control and discipline but I'm home all day and it's very hard. But even if it's not in the house I go out and buy it.
I literally don't know what to do. I have no energy or motivation either.
Totally disgusted with myself.

Oh, I really feel for you OP.

I agree with other posters that this isn’t really about food. Think about building your self esteem by writing down some positive things you’ve achieved EVERY DAY, and also try to remind yourself how much internal control you have over your emotions. I bang on about it, but the Thrive programme is amazing.

Having said all that, sugar is incredibly addictive because of what it does to our bodies, so the first thing is to try to break that. Low carb is brilliant and there are lots of delicious things you can eat. I would be tempted to try it but including potatoes to start off with to be gentler on yourself.

My feeling is that as soon as you get a bit of confidence and start to like yourself again you’ll feel powerful enough to do this.

It’s less than a stone to the healthy range. That’s not too much in the grand scheme of things and getting on top of it now before it becomes three stone is a really good idea.

I have switched to a complete meal replacement plan, I realised I have to break my mixed up relationship with food. I am doing The New You Plan (we have a thread in Weight Loss Chat).
I cannot explain the relief of just not thinking about food, I have a shake, a soup, a meal and a bar daily with a packet of their crisps once or twice a week.
I find it so easy to stick to and don't even have an inclination to have a weigh in day binge treat.

No advice I'm afraid, but you are not alone. I have a very unhealthy relationship with food

I’m sorry you’re feeling so terrible about yourself.

What antidepressant are you taking? It wouldn’t be Mirtazapine would it, perchance?

No its citalopram

Kylorey your post is lovely thank you.

Oh ok. Mirtazapine is renowned for increasing appetite and weight. Not sure about citalopram though.

Be kind to yourself.

You’re using food as a crutch for something.. have you thought about paying for counselling to work out what it is? I am an ex food addict really and it was only by getting happy, getting fitter, taking pride in my appearance and filling most of my diet with proper food that I could kick the habit . I still have chocolate/crisps but I can stop at one.
It also sounds like you’re probably hungry a lot? Can you eat proper meals like the poached eggs on toast etc mentioned above? It could help curb those cravings

Intermittent fasting.

I have a problem with binge eating all my life.

Now I eat once a day. i’ll have a huge home made curry mid morning if I like and then just water for the next 24 hours.

I’m so much healthier and 5 stone lighter in 8 months.

Sugar is a very addictive substance. In my opinion it needs professional help to sort out. But very few professionals actually bother to train themselves about sugar addiction and stick with the eat less move more mantra.

If it were alcohol, and you had an alcoholic living in the house, you wouldn't keep alcohol in the house.

Sugar addicts shouldn't have sugar in the house, in any form.

I found when I lived alone and had control over everything that came in to the house I was at my healthiest, but no one here gets it now. They bring what they want in and say they shouldn't miss out just because I have a problem, which is fair enough but it creates this next to impossible cycle to break.

Many years ago I used to crave sugar.
I was also a vegetarian and by 3 pm I was wiped out - no energy.
One word PROTEIN.
Meat Protein.
I tend to stick to chicken or lamb mince these days.
I no longer have cravings- not a single one.
My energy levels are good.
Also make sure you are eating enough
3 square meals.
Your body is amazing
If you are craving sugar it's your body telling you it's lacking in certain nutrients.
Try it for a week

@Robin233

Many years ago I used to crave sugar. I was also a vegetarian and by 3 pm I was wiped out - no energy. One word PROTEIN. Meat Protein. I tend to stick to chicken or lamb mince these days. I no longer have cravings- not a single one. My energy levels are good. Also make sure you are eating enough 3 square meals. Your body is amazing If you are craving sugar it's your body telling you it's lacking in certain nutrients. Try it for a week

I absolutely second this.

And I don’t think tofu is going to cut it I’m afraid.

@Dillydollydingdong

I find that if I want something sweet, then sucky sweets help. Mintoes, boiled sweets, something like that. A sweet will last 10-15 minutes, and it's better than chomping on a bar of chocolate (or three).

Do not do this! I tried this and now I have horrendous dental problems. Regular boiled sweets will destroy your teeth. I wish I hadn't gone down this path.

This is/was me

March 5th this year I ate a bag of fruit pastilles, had many biscuits with my cup of tea then went back for more, then it was dinner time and you don’t skip meals do you? So I had dinner. This was a daily occurrence, my brain was constantly focusing on its next sugar fix. I was having many symptoms of pre diabetes

March 6th I gave up sugar. (Only digression weekend wine and the occasional cider)

The books you need are ‘sweet poison’by David Gillespie and ‘why we eat too much’ by Andrew jenkinson

The rules are you can eat whatever you want as long as you make it from scratch and it doesn’t contain sugar.

I found eating an orange helps curb the early afternoon cravings.

The first two weeks were not easy. But then the cravings became much less intense.

Now my brain still forms images of sweet things but they don’t have the accompanying cravings or salivating of the taste buds. I hope one day I won’t get the constant images they have reduced.

Cooking meals for different family members can not be helping you at all. Start by planning times when you will cook and prepare everything all in one hit, if anyone objects to this they can prepare their own. (I’m thinking dp here if your dc are young that does make it difficult). They can also heat things up later.

Find things to do that don’t involve sitting watching tv or scrolling through a device. Those activities lend themselves too easily to grazing. For me it’s been walking and swimming and occasionally knitting. Swimming is open water and my mood has increased exponentially I feel great.

Have a diversionary food. If I’m needing something I now have a big orange.

Don’t go to the shop if you don’t have to.

Lots are said on here about carbs and low carb. I am freely eating potatoes. The only biscuits I eat now are water biscuits to have with cheese that I’ll have for tea. I do have bread, but homemade or the expensive stuff that doesn’t have the additives in it and now only once or twice a week instead of daily. Pasta once a month, rice not at all but that’s more to avoid the sauces that you’d have with it rather than the rice itself.

Differences I’ve really noticed.

How I feel , mostly great. My skin is incredible, I had varrucas on my feet for years, I’d tried everything to get rid of them, they disappeared in the first couple of months. I don’t feel tired anymore.

The really weird thing is the reaction from other people. If you go to a party and not drink people are fine with it. Go and say you’re not having pudding they really can’t deal with it.

What worked for me is not restricting. If I crave sugar, I'll eat 2 small pieces of dark chocolate. If I want pasta, I make sure I have a small salad next to it; same goes for pizza. I don't have 'cheat days'/cheat meals, I just live like this. When I finally got the idea that I don't have to 'diet' and everything can be eaten in small portions I've stopped craving it. I focus a lot on my health rather than losing weight (not a lot to lose, about 6-7 kg or so).

@YouBringLightInToADarkPlace

Glad you mentioned this.
I'm going to try this again and try to focus on drinking water and being in the moment. The last time I did the shakes, they were too tasty and I binged on them.

Hopefully it'll break the negative eating cycle.

@Namechange768

I'm so fed up. I have such a totally messed up attitude to food, have for years. I'm pre diabetic and totally addicted to sugar. I have cravings, then guilt, I skip meals, then binge, I eat in secret, I try low carbing then have chocolate. I have so many emotions around food and no self control. I've tried and tried to have self control and discipline but I'm home all day and it's very hard. But even if it's not in the house I go out and buy it. I literally don't know what to do. I have no energy or motivation either. Totally disgusted with myself.

Firstly don't be disgusted. Can I say that I've worked in fitness for quarter of a century or so, and the more I've learnt about science (easier to do now, great YouTube videos, entertaining stuff), the more respect I have for my body and the easier it is to just treat it with respect all the time because, it's awesome. It's also removed completely for me the idea that my body is 'too fat' or 'skinny' or 'perfect weight' as knowing what I know now (25 years of exercise science!), I know way too much to ever want to reduce it to that

Honestly finding out as much as you can about how incredible the human body is, immersing yourself in fun, educational YouTube vids and science songs and all that stuff, it'll change how you think of yourself. Watching great content about blood sugar, diabetes, etc, will help too.

The world encourages all us women to reduce ourselves to how much extra fat we might want to use which is so bloody offensive and designed to keep women in their box. Not to mention life limiting. Try to step out and think different by getting to know your body as well as you can and your brain will begin to shift and think of yourself more positively.

@Robin233

Many years ago I used to crave sugar. I was also a vegetarian and by 3 pm I was wiped out - no energy. One word PROTEIN. Meat Protein. I tend to stick to chicken or lamb mince these days. I no longer have cravings- not a single one. My energy levels are good. Also make sure you are eating enough 3 square meals. Your body is amazing If you are craving sugar it's your body telling you it's lacking in certain nutrients. Try it for a week

Every meathead in our gym will agree with you including me

I agree with the ‘eat more protein’ and I’d also say eat regular meals and possibly small snacks too. Skipping meals and then binging plays absolute havoc with your endocrine system, and your brain. Ignore the weight for now and try to set up a system of regular meals.

Also, if you can afford it, I’d buy a blood glucose meter. As you’re pre-diabetic, it’s possible you’re making too much insulin (Type 2 diabetes is insulin resistance) and that insulin can contribute to feelings of hunger and craving too.

Thank you I do eat meat.
I just get totally overwhelmed with what I should eat, shouldn't eat.
And just life in general really. So much to do, all of it is dull.
Work from home so spend all day looking at myself on teams in meetings, hate how I look, hate my clothes. Hate my weight!

I initially used Lighterlife but they are phenomenally expensive and this was back in the day where they were marketing it alongside weekly Cognitive Behaviour Sessions.
Now when I do it (do a month or two to get me back on track sometimes) I use Exante because they're the cheapest, and honestly it's all the same stuff in the shakes anyway.
I got giddy with the choices and so I kept it simple- and boring- and now I just get either vanilla or strawberry milkshake. Not very exciting but that's the point for me really.

There's a lot going on here OP, and you are trying to cure it all at once.

You have maybe an unhealthy relationship with food/sugar. You binge eat. You want to lose weight. You have poor body image

There's no way that one diet, or one approach can fix all of that. You need to take it a step at a time and I'd probably consider getting some specialist help in, seeing a nutritionist

It's perfectly natural to crave sugar. Sugar tastes good, it makes us happy. It's normal to want to eat tasty foods, and lots of it. It doesn't make you greedy, or disgusting or anything like that because you want to eat food, or you ate lots of food. You are allowed to want to eat food

If I were you I'd go for a reset. Not losing weight to start with, just 3 meals a day plus snacks, not denying yourself any chocolate/sweets but making sure you've had a proper meal first, make it tasty but make sure there's plenty of veg and protein in there. See how you get on when you aren't trying to starve yourself or deny yourself constantly

You need therapy to resolve whatever the reason is your self medicating with food. I know someone who had suffered horribly as a child and spent a lifetime really overweight, she had therapy and is now a really healthy weight of 9 stone and she is about 5ft 2 I think, she had been 16 stone before.