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Do some mothers become poisonous when they get old?

66 replies

Jellypot · 03/10/2021 14:19

I don't usually get offended easily but there was an incident at home recently.

I live at home. In recent years I fell in love with making homemade soups. It's often inexpensive, tasty, nutritious, filling and there's enough soup for a few days. I love looking for different soup recipes. It's so easy too. Typically it's cooking some veg in a pot, adding a liquid stock and blending it all up. It's so easy.

I live at home with my mother and there was a cooking show on TV and the cook was making a homemade courgette soup. It looked interesting. I never would have thought about using courgette in a soup and it definitely peaked my interest in the show. My mother sat watching the cooking show criticising his soup and criticising homemade soup in general saying something like
'who in their right mind would go to all the bother of making a homemade soup...theres too much trouble in it....when all you can do is buy a packet or can of soup.' So she said what she wanted to say and then the worst part was she said it again and then turned her words around to say it again in a different way. She knows I love making homemade soups and all she did was criticise the making of homemade soups. The issue was she became so vocal about something so minor. It's a soup on TV. I felt to some degree she was trying to critise me and my liking towards making soups. There was definitely something there in her at that time and I saw it in her face. Her face was bitter. It was horrible.

It was later that night when I became disappointed because I just let it slide when I should I have answered her back and said something like - 'what is the point of watching cooking shows if your not going to make anything from them.'

OP posts:
blacksax · 03/10/2021 14:26

Perhaps she is fed up of your soups being foisted on her all the time, especially if you make a massive pot that lasts for days. Just a thought.

JelliedHeels · 03/10/2021 14:28

Why do you live with her? Does she appreciate you?

NowEvenBetter · 03/10/2021 14:28

Just dismiss her, she wanted a reaction, just say ‘ok’ in a bored way. Put earphones in.

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Shoxfordian · 03/10/2021 14:29

Mothers don’t become poisonous like mushrooms

Maybe she doesn’t like your soup

NowEvenBetter · 03/10/2021 14:30

Do you need to live with her? You wouldn’t get on each other’s nerves as much as if you were independent

wizzywig · 03/10/2021 14:30

Some people just get miserable when things aren't going well for them?

Stoppochoco · 03/10/2021 14:32

who in their right mind would go to all the bother of making a homemade soup...theres too much trouble in it
At that point I would have turned to her and said 'me, I like making soups ' and await her response.
I do it to anyone that said it, cooking is hardly a shameful past time is it.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 03/10/2021 14:32

Poisonous is probably a bit of a stretch without more context. Maybe she is... Or maybe she was having a bad day?

FlibbertyGiblets · 03/10/2021 14:33

It is difficult. With my mother she seemed to lose her empathy around age 65 ish (trying to think of when) then she developed Alzheimer's disease which took the filter right off. Horrible things said. I didn't live there luckily but times together pre diagnosis were hard.

Any chance of you moving out? That would severely lessen opportunities for digs at you.

But to answer your question:
Not all, but I expect some.

Hope you are ok.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 03/10/2021 14:34

Also, I never realised how much the word "soups" irritates me... Blush

GrimDamnFanjo · 03/10/2021 14:34

Hmmm I've noticed mine taking offence more.
But perhaps I didn't notice before.

I answer those kind of comments with " I like x - wouldn't do if we were all the same...."

NerrSnerr · 03/10/2021 14:36

Are you always talking about your homemade soup and how nutritious, filling and wonderful it is? Is she just fed up about hearing about it?

xksismybestletter · 03/10/2021 14:36

I know what you mean I think, people who just find the downside in stuff. My mother does this - out for a walk and she will mention 10 times how she would have preferred X route. ... Yes ok but let's just make the most of it??

gamerchick · 03/10/2021 14:39

You know she was having a dig at you, it's not about soup.

Is she kind of wanting you to fly the nest? Do you make mess when you make your soups? Take over the kitchen a lot or just generally get on each others nerves?

Who knows but it's not about soup.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 03/10/2021 14:41

I just think it is better for adult children to have their own home and independence. Otherwise small irritations and resentments can get blown out of proportion, and neither generation has the space to cool off and recognize how trivial the issue bothering them is.

PinkTonic · 03/10/2021 14:49

Based on what I read on here plenty of people are pretty poisonous when they’re fairly young too. I guess unpleasant people don’t change.

It sounds like it’s time to move out and become independent.

Anordinarymum · 03/10/2021 14:55

OP I'll come and have some of your soup, and I'll have a word with your mum too if you like :)

Jellypot · 03/10/2021 14:55

No, I don't harp on about soups and when I do make them I pick a time when she'd not around do if she's gone out for a morning, I aim to make a soup when the kitchen is quite. I don't force her to eat homemade soups.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 03/10/2021 15:08

How old are you OP, do you work? You seem to have an awful lot of drama in your life.

1forAll74 · 03/10/2021 15:12

You should really not let your Mothers view points affect you, to the point that you are very annoyed with her, and her hatred of soup, and your soup , as you love to make soup. Give her a tin of HEINZ tomato soup, for a Christmas present.

This has now made me want to look at some soup recipes, now the seasons have changed, nothing like some nourishing soup, in the Autumn and Winter.

Anyhow, I am one of those Mothers, an old one, who makes comments about all the junky take away crap that people eat all the time. ( nobody cares about my views)

lescompagnonsdeloue · 03/10/2021 15:16

Are you sure you are not evangelizing over the soup? You've managed to write a whole boring paragraph about it, when the soup isn't the problem so much as the fact that your mum is pissing on your chips about something and it's annoying.

Deathraystare · 03/10/2021 15:22

Just smile at her each time she rants and say "It is being so cheerful that keeps you going, isn't it Mum?"

NowEvenBetter · 03/10/2021 15:26

Just saw some of your other threads OP. Sounds like you and all your relatives need to stay away from each other. What a shitshow.

Summerfun54321 · 03/10/2021 15:27

I can’t stand the smell of boiled vegetables, maybe she feels the same about your soup making?

SpicyPickle22 · 03/10/2021 15:28

Why do you live with your mum?

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