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Original poster

A teacher who taught me has gone to prison for child abuse

32 replies

GreatPotato · 29/09/2021 19:48

He's in his 70s now and he taught me more than 30 years ago.

He had a "relationship" with a pupil, which is the case brought against him now. The shocking thing is we all knew. It was common knowledge and made her something of a celebrity. Can it really have been so "OK" at the time?. We children thought it made her seem very grown up, but surely adults would have been appalled by it even then?

What's really shocking is a friend who went to a different local secondary school reckons he did the same thing there and it was generally known that was why he left. So "the authorities" knew and just moved him on to another school.

OP posts:
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 29/09/2021 19:57

We had two at my secondary school, at around that time.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 29/09/2021 19:58

He was also quietly moved schools Hmm

poullou · 29/09/2021 19:59

surely adults would have been appalled by it even then?

Remember Mandy Smith and Bill Wyman? Times were so different even relatively recently.

Orangejuicemarathoner · 29/09/2021 20:01

Chris Woodhead was head of ofsted.......

We had several pupil/teacher marriages in my schools over the decades

Ozanj · 29/09/2021 20:04

Different times. I went to school around the same time as you and one of my school friends who was 15 was dating our teacher (30) & her mum considered him quite the catch.

PurBal · 29/09/2021 20:04

Yeah… we had a few of these… one went to jail… one left and continued the relationship with the student as far as I know… one was never “found out” and died a few years ago, but like you say “everyone knew”.

Original poster
GreatPotato · 29/09/2021 20:10

So if it was "different times" and it was OK then, why would he be prosecuted now? People knew it wasn't OK then or he wouldn't have had to leave the previous school and there'd be no case to answer now.

We knew that if we had sex before 16 there was a possibility the boy could be charged with rape. We thought that would be all our fault, but we knew.

OP posts:
Spidey66 · 29/09/2021 20:14

Sounds like something that happened at my old school, though this was nearer 40 years ago. He wasn't NW London, geography teacher? It was a girls school too which on hindsight makes it worse, like he was planning to groom a child so picked a girls school to increase his chances?

itsgettingwierd · 29/09/2021 20:18

No one will know why it's now been brought to prosecution unless we get told.

I know a student who was dating his teacher in 6th form (unofficially).

Officially got together when he left at 18 and she was in her 30's.

They are still married and together 40 years on.

Original poster
GreatPotato · 29/09/2021 20:19

@Spidey66

Sounds like something that happened at my old school, though this was nearer 40 years ago. He wasn't NW London, geography teacher? It was a girls school too which on hindsight makes it worse, like he was planning to groom a child so picked a girls school to increase his chances?
No this was a South East comp. Chemistry. I think it really was very widespread.

My sister said "outrageous he could just walk into another school and not even a Catholic one" Grin

OP posts:
Rhubarblin · 29/09/2021 20:20

We had this in Year 10/11, we're only talking 16 years ago.

It did go to court but he was found not guilty even though we all knew and everyone had experienced his pervy behaviour. I even walked in on him sat in a chair with her (victim) under the desk, the police were informed I witnessed this but they never contacted me. He got glowing references from other staff members somehow.

Lockdownbear · 29/09/2021 20:21

Just because it was out in the open doesn't make it right. Clearly their was a power imbalance within that relationship. Even if she seemed willing she was possibly groomed as a child.

So many people turned a blind eye to grooming or didn't really understand what appeared to be willing participants.

There were certainly girls in my school who boasted about much older boyfriends and things they did. Now looking back I wonder what was made up and what was abuse.

Councilworker · 29/09/2021 20:22

My head of sixth form had a "relationship" with a girl in our sixth form. He went on to work for Ofsted too. And our maths teacher was dating his sister's friend who was in Year 11 at the time. "Oh they were together before he was a teacher" was the general feeling. Right so he was 20 or 21 in a "relationship" with a 14 year old. That's reeeeeally not a good thing.

whojamaflip · 29/09/2021 20:22

There was one at our school too who was in a "relationship" with one of our friendship group. Even then it was cringeworthy and didn't seem quite right.

I've just googled him and it turns out he's now the deputy head! 😮

Cheesepuff1 · 29/09/2021 20:24

same at my school 20 yrs ago. pupil was 15 and teacher was late 30s. they got married after she finished school too.. if we all knew about it the teachers must have too.

TrampolineForMrKite · 29/09/2021 20:31

I had an affair with a teacher of mine. Turn of the century. He’s still teaching. It’s widely known- we were together for five years and when he cheated on me I was pretty vocal about it. I imagine he went on and did it again after the sixth former he left me for (or had done it before). Started when I was 15, he was 30. Unbelievably it wasn’t technically illegal then, hence why he’s still teaching.

TrampolineForMrKite · 29/09/2021 20:32

Sorry meant to add- not technically illegal because once word got around I was over the age of consent and we didn’t have full sex until then anyway because he wasn’t stupid.

lilacdinosaur · 29/09/2021 20:33

We had one at our school and I'm only talking 15 years ago. I can't remember if anything was done about it at the time, I'm sure it must have, but he eventually left and once she finished school they got back together and are now married with children.

Hippolollo · 29/09/2021 20:34

I work in regulation. If any of these men are still teaching, they should be reported to the appropriate body for the jurisdiction.

ShowOfHands · 29/09/2021 20:36

25yrs ago, my 15yo friend was sleeping with our 30 yr old teacher. Quite a few people knew. They stayed together for a few years, openly once she had left 6th form. It seemed like nobody cared tbh.

MrsGhastlyCrumb · 29/09/2021 20:42

@Hippolollo

I work in regulation. If any of these men are still teaching, they should be reported to the appropriate body for the jurisdiction.
Former sports coach of mine abused several girls. He is now a 'volunteer' at the same school. After meeting a friend from that time and asking her whether I was right in thinking that his behaviour had been 'off' she asked me to contact the local police and give evidence to support theirs. I did. He is still volunteering as the school says it's ok as he hasn't been convicted, and isn't left alone with kids on the premises.
Hippolollo · 29/09/2021 20:48

@MrsGhastlyCrumb that's terrible. His regulatory body should have taken action. I'm surprised if they didn't, but perhaps the allegations weren't proved at regulatory level. It can be tricky sometimes.

Theunamedcat · 29/09/2021 20:55

Music teacher in my high school I made the mistake of getting a high mark on my music exam he zeroed in on me asked me to come in for extra tuition at lunch time we all knew he liked to bend students over the piano there were rumours about him for years i didnt show up for "extra tuition" he looked for me and cornered me I literally hid behind another male teacher saying I didn't want extra music he (other teacher) was confused until I said please sir I don't want to play piano his face got dark in a hurry he said she doesn't want extra tuition I suggest STRONGLY you leave her alone

It was obviously common knowledge among the staff too

I was given permission to go to the science block if "anything" was bothering me again

He was arrested a few years ago

Alwaystired99 · 29/09/2021 20:55

When I was 17 I was infatuated with one of my teachers. He was 20 years older and head of department. He knew how I felt and must have got a kick out of it as he'd take me out (candle lit dinner ffs), call me (before mobiles), give me lifts, even take me to the pub. Nothing every really happened other than a few kisses (when I was 18!!!) but I thought I wanted it to and his behaviour confused me. Other pupils and even staff would make remarks about our relationship but he carried on. I wouldn't be surprised if he did it to others and actually did more. It took me over a decade to realise he shouldn't have behaved the way he did but at the time I loved the attention and couldn't see the power imbalance.
He moved hundreds of miles away a few years later and even got another promotion as well as working for an exam board. I'd like to think it wouldn't happen now and if a teacher behaved like that to my daughter I wouldn't stand for it. My mother was just jealous but that's another story!

Theunamedcat · 29/09/2021 20:58

Its true actually they can be arrested several times and unless convicted nothing happens my ex has passed a dbs apparently and he has had two (different) child sex abuse allegations and one of rape still allowed to see his kids if I stop contact im the one in the wrong they never progress any further than arrest and bail