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Original poster

School mum with body odour- wwyd?

73 replies

ImFree2doasiwant · 28/09/2021 22:02

New school mum has really really bad body odour. I dont mean a bit whiffy, but can be smelt from across the car park, it is unbearable to stand in line near to her. I work with homeless people and have never come across anything this bad.

Lots of people mentioning it to each other which I don't feel comfortable with, but equally I can see why. I have been told that her child also smells. Sad

What would you do? Anything? On one hand I can't understand how she doesn't know. On the other, the conversations have made me feel bad for her and her DC, its akin to playground bullying.

OP posts:
Hercisback · 28/09/2021 22:04

If there are any safeguarding concerns about the child, speak to the school.

Otherwise do nothing.

EarringsandLipstick · 28/09/2021 22:05

@Hercisback

If there are any safeguarding concerns about the child, speak to the school.

Otherwise do nothing.

Exactly.
EarringsandLipstick · 28/09/2021 22:08

the conversations have made me feel bad for her and her DC, its akin to playground bullying.

I find it hard to believe that grown adults are doing this - I could not imagine it at my DC's school.

Next time you hear it, immediately call it out. It is absolutely none of their business and precisely no discussion should be happening.

MrsLeclerc · 28/09/2021 22:11

Why do you need to do anything?!
There was a thread on here recently from a mum who was getting comments about her smell/appearance at the school drop off. She went straight from working a night shift to dropping her DC and rightly was more worried about that than anything else.

Nobody knows what’s going on in people’s personal lives. She could have a medical condition, depression, be living out of her car. If the school haven’t addressed the situation (with the child) then it’s not really anyone’s concern. Best to stay out of it and leave her be.

TheFoundations · 28/09/2021 22:15

If you think other people shouldn't be talking about it, then you ought not to mention it either.

Some people smell. Unless you're concerned about the welfare of the child, that's the full story, start to finish, and you're not in it.

lannistunut · 28/09/2021 22:17

It is not your place or your job to do anything.

Your job is to bring your child up properly, and teach them not to talk about people in this sort of way.

TractorAndHeadphones · 28/09/2021 22:32

While it’s mean of adults to be gossiping about her - it can be rather awkward. Wouldn’t people be avoiding her if the smell is really that unbearable?

TaraR2020 · 28/09/2021 22:34

@MrsLeclerc

Why do you need to do anything?! There was a thread on here recently from a mum who was getting comments about her smell/appearance at the school drop off. She went straight from working a night shift to dropping her DC and rightly was more worried about that than anything else.

Nobody knows what’s going on in people’s personal lives. She could have a medical condition, depression, be living out of her car. If the school haven’t addressed the situation (with the child) then it’s not really anyone’s concern. Best to stay out of it and leave her be.

I remember this, she worked in a fish factory or something didn't she?

Op, I'd make friendly overtures to the lady and get to know her a bit

Whatwouldscullydo · 28/09/2021 22:37

Unless there are concerns about the child I wouldn't say or do anything. As already mentioned she could just be coming straight from a night shift.

I would also not engage with any play ground talk. As if that lot are sodding perfect

Megistotherium · 28/09/2021 22:55

Seriously? You just stay away from her if it's so unbearable for you.
It maybe unbearable for you, but it could be ok for others.
If it's true if the child smells as well, I'm sure the teacher would notice and do something about it.

Original poster
ImFree2doasiwant · 28/09/2021 22:57

I havent noticed any issue with the child, another person's child said that that they smell. My DC(who is friends with the child) has not mentioned anything. Child appears clean and tidy.

@EarringsandLipstick it may be hard to believe, but it's true. I think if utvwas a bit if stale sweat it wouldn't be spoken about, I honestly think it's because it's so noticeable, and pretty much unbearable to be near. Still, doesn't make it right and I have said that it's not right to be gossiping about it.

@TractorAndHeadphones yes, exactly that. People are standing a big distance away, rather than queuing up as normal. One has declined a playdate because of it. It is really bad.

I just wanted opinions, as to whether others would say/do anything. Like I said, I'm conflicted as I can't imagine she doesn't kniw (and as had been pointed out, there may be a medical/other issue causing it) I do know she's not coming from work, she doesn't work and has 2 smaller (than reception age) children. I just feel bad for her, and also her DC.

Thanks for the opinions

OP posts:
xxKatie9806xx · 28/09/2021 22:59

I used to work with a lady who had horrendous body odour, so bad it would cause the whole office to smell. My boss finally spoke to her and she admitted she knew she smelled but couldn’t stop it. She showered everyday etc. If she smells so bad I’m sure she must know and it’s a medical condition. It’s definitely not your place to say anything.

Original poster
ImFree2doasiwant · 28/09/2021 22:59

@Megistotherium it's unbearable for everybody. It's a very small school. I have heard all of that classes parents discussing it, plus plenty more parents of older kids.

OP posts:
Original poster
ImFree2doasiwant · 28/09/2021 23:00

@xxKatie9806xx I did wonder if it was something like that. It must be awful, and having it pointed out wouldn't be nice for her.

OP posts:
xxKatie9806xx · 28/09/2021 23:08

My colleague was apparently mortified about having it mentioned and she did actually end up leaving the job a few months later. It was such a strong smell, not something I’ve ever experienced before or since…if she came near me it quite literally burned my nostrils and I could smell her as soon as I got out the lift two corridors away. How awful to have such a condition. Try and be a friendly face and smile as I imagine she’s so embarrassed about it.

JustJoinedRightNow · 28/09/2021 23:10

[quote ImFree2doasiwant]@Megistotherium it's unbearable for everybody. It's a very small school. I have heard all of that classes parents discussing it, plus plenty more parents of older kids.[/quote]
This is really mean of all the parents. Surely if she smells that much it doesn’t need to be discussed anymore?
OP your job here is to immediately shut down gossip. And the child of a friend who says the son smells? Please. What a mean person.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 28/09/2021 23:16

As a student I worked in a clothes shop, and one of my colleagues smelled really bad, to the point a customer spoke to a manager about her. Mortifying. It turned out that she showered daily, used deodorant and everything one is meant to do, but she only had two work tops (we had to wear a white top with a black bottom) and wasn’t able to get them washed often enough to have a clean one each day. The store manager - who was lovely - magicked up a couple of tops that were “customer returns that couldn’t be re-sold” and the problem was solved.

Original poster
ImFree2doasiwant · 28/09/2021 23:16

@xxKatie9806xx I wonder if it's the same. I could smell it from quite a distance away the other day, probably about 30 metres, I was on the other side of the road and further along it too.

The little girl had told her mum that she doesn't play with X as they "really smell bad". They are in reception so only just started school.

OP posts:
Megistotherium · 28/09/2021 23:28

Op, I really don't know what is your intention is. But you do come across as a mean and horrible person. Not someone who are caring and concerned.
In the real world, if someone smells, not because of being dirty etc, but because of their natural condition, they either tolerate it or stay away. Not start a thread and slag them off. If you are a good person and so concerned, you would tell them, or at least try to stop people gossiping.

DoncasterHombre · 28/09/2021 23:32

30m away . . . . . outdoors? Hmm

whoknew23 · 28/09/2021 23:39

maybe she's depressed and not washing ,putting deodorant on.

I remember being in a supermarket thinking someone near by was stinking and then realised it was me and couldn't recall my last shower or putting deodorant on . That was a kick up the arse to get help.

Catsrus · 28/09/2021 23:49

There is a medical reason for some very strong body odour. I taught a boy who really stank, his dad was another teacher in the school and because of that we knew the reasons were medical, not hygiene related.

I think it was this - Trimethylaminuria www.nhs.uk/conditions/trimethylaminuria/

Comedycook · 28/09/2021 23:50

Don't say anything

CamillaRose · 28/09/2021 23:51

I don’t believe you can smell someone across a car park. Maybe within 6-10ft but certainly not across a car park. Not sure why you’re exaggerating but leave the poor woman alone. It’s none of your business and she probably has a medical condition.

Original poster
ImFree2doasiwant · 29/09/2021 00:00

For those thinking I'm exaggerating, or making it up, I'm really not. The first time I noticed it I was the other side of the car park and couldn't work out what I could smell, because I wasn't near to anyone at all. It smelt typically of strong body odour, but it just didn't compute that it could be. I struggled to stay within about 10ft.im not saying this to be nasty, but to give an idea of how bad it was. Although I probably wouldn't believe it myself if I hadn't experienced it

OP posts:
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