School mum with body odour- wwyd?

[ImFree2doasiwant]

New school mum has really really bad body odour. I dont mean a bit whiffy, but can be smelt from across the car park, it is unbearable to stand in line near to her. I work with homeless people and have never come across anything this bad.

Lots of people mentioning it to each other which I don't feel comfortable with, but equally I can see why. I have been told that her child also smells.

What would you do? Anything? On one hand I can't understand how she doesn't know. On the other, the conversations have made me feel bad for her and her DC, its akin to playground bullying.

@EarringsandLipstick

the conversations have made me feel bad for her and her DC, its akin to playground bullying.

I find it hard to believe that grown adults are doing this - I could not imagine it at my DC's school.

Next time you hear it, immediately call it out. It is absolutely none of their business and precisely no discussion should be happening.

This . 👆

@whoknew23

maybe she's depressed and not washing ,putting deodorant on.

I remember being in a supermarket thinking someone near by was stinking and then realised it was me and couldn't recall my last shower or putting deodorant on . That was a kick up the arse to get help.

Absolutely nothing. Noyb.

I am that mum at my kid school. I just woke up one day 7 months ago and started having a fecal odour/ sometimes rubber/ garbage. It’s very strong and can be smelt more than 50 metres away. It’s a rare disease called trimethylaminauria. Nothing that this mum can do to get rid of it. Some people are born with it and some acquire it randomly. So next time you see her when others are mocking her explain to the other parents. I’m a single parent and my son gets bullied st school cos of my condition. The teachers are horrible to me at parents evening. I have neighbours harass me by throwing rocks and taking pictures of me in my house. It’s like living with a death sentence

@fr1991
I have similar issues which cannot always be controlled. It has affected my whole life.

@fr1991 that's awful for you. And people are horrible.

I've since been involved with the family in a professional capacity (they live 3 generations to the large house) not this woman but someone else living there. It's definitely body odour, lack of basic hygiene. The house is awful.

How miserable for her - either she's very depressed / has mental health issues and has lost any concern for her personal hygiene or she can't do anything about it. It's highly unlikely its because she can't be bothered.

And how sad for her child being denied playdates

The woman obviously has some kind of medical problem, unless she has really bad hygiene. Does she wear dirty clothes, I wonder. This would indicate a hygiene issue. If she is well presented, clean clothes etc. I am sure she has some kind of condition.

What worries me is that the child also smells and kids won't play with it, This should be quietly reported to the school head.

Maybe its a medical issue maybe she is a single parent really struggling, their are a lot of parents going without basic essentials at the moment just so they can put food on the table for their children, poor woman might have no friends and maybe someone being kind and showing they care could make a big difference, really sad that people are avoiding the child and talking about the Lady like this as we don't really know what's going on in her life

See update above. Its poor hygiene, both person and within the family home. Clothes are odd for the school run,but obvious dirt on clothes, skin etc. She's very friendly and I make a point to say hello but haven't accepted offers for playmates due to having been involved through work, and honestly, I dont want DCgoing into the house (and I'm not fussy, my house is no show home)

How interesting that you have somehow managed to become professionally involved.

I would not say anything. She may have Bromhidrosis. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6804454/#:~:text=Bromhidrosis%20is%20known%20as%20foul,and%20short%2Dchain%20fatty%20acids.&text=The%20odor%20from%20apocrine%20bromhidrosis%20will%20resemble%20typical%20body%20odor.

Sorry, did not notice the date of your OP, and missed the update.

Truthfully, CERTAIN people don’t care if you have a medical condition or not. Even if you were to provide them proof of this, they will still bully and gossip. Of course it’s extremely convenient that the original poster has somehow posted something on mumsnet clearly to moan about it. Then suddenly she has a job that enabled her to go to said person’s home. Without actually speaking to the person with the condition, I would take everything she says with a pinch of salt. I mean I can guess what type of job she does, and I’m sure it’s not professional for her to post about how it’s a house with multiple generations (the fact this was highlighted tells me that it’s most likely a person of colour). So to me it’s giving I’m a judgemental racist and I’ve come up with this story of how I’ve gone round to make myself look good as quite clearly you didn’t get the support you expected ha.

@fr1991 I'm sorry you're suffering, but really, don't project your experience onto me. Fwiw, it is not a person of colour, its just a large family, living in a large old house. Not that I have to explain to you, but once I realised the family connection I passed the case to someone else.

If you actually care to read my posts, you'll see that I came for advice as I didn't agree with the playground bullying mentality I was seeing.

Also, not sure if you realise the OP is 2 years old?

I did mention my work in my first post so it's no secret

From across the car park in an open air?

Really?

I believe you. When I was at primary school we had a teaching assistant that had horrendous body odour. She was morbidly obese but well turned out. You could smell her down the hallway and whilst she was lovely the smell was overpowering. Her dd had the same issue although she was much slimmer.

A parent at my child's school smells similar. I've no idea if it is due to her weight, due to a condition etc but it would be a shame for it to impact on her child. It's hard op, you could mention it to the headteacher in refernce to her child and maybe they'll address it especially if it acts as a barrier to the child making friendships or getting left out.

I honestly cannot believe you can smell it from the other side of the car park OUTDOORS! I think this might be a wind up thread.

I realise this is a rather old thread, but my MIL had to be told she was smelly by work colleagues (she was, apparently- DH confirms). She was mortified but did wear deo from them on and wash clothes more often. I think on balance she was appreciative that someone said something, as she didn't smell herself.

Blimey OP, can't believe you're now getting a bashing!

fr1991 I'm sorry you're suffering but no need to hit out. You DID bump a nearly 2 yes old thread, and OP had also mentioned way back then that she works in this sort of area.

Op must have the nose of a blood hound.

Yeah I've got to admit they had me up until this point. Why do people always 'jump the shark' with these stories? 😂