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US or U.K. or Europe? Where to live

104 replies

Polestarsim · 26/09/2021 09:35

We've been trying to buy a house in this insane market for over 2 years. This along with the U.K. seeming more and more unstable we've started to rethink if here is the best place for us to live. The government seems to simply not care and people are turning on each other for trying to access basics like healthcare and fuel rather than look at the central failings of the government. There seems to be no ability to forward plan.

So we've started to wonder if maybe we ought to move completely and start over. We can legally reside anywhere in the EU, U.K. or U.S. Where would you choose?

OP posts:
Polestarsim · 27/09/2021 00:18

I went to uni in the US so that part I feel very comfortable with navigating. We wouldnt be eligible for grants but they could take student loans/apply for scholarships etc.

OP posts:
user1471519931 · 27/09/2021 00:20

What about Ireland?

Cameleongirl · 27/09/2021 00:30

One thing I hadn’t fully taken on board is that parents have to co-sign on many student loans here in the US. There are small loans that the student can apply for themselves, but the bigger ones need a parental co-signer. You probably know that, OP, but I didn’t. I’m so annoyed about this as we’ve saved up college money for our DC and now we may have to co-sign loans too.

DD is going for every merit scholarship she can.😂

MissMatty2hats · 27/09/2021 00:48

We moved to Ireland about fourteen years ago and it’s the best decision we ever made. Schools are great, lots of job opportunities and university is much more affordable. Our children have grown up here and all love their lives. When I see the shit show that is Brexit I’m even more certain we made the right decision. No queues for petrol here!

Pallisers · 27/09/2021 00:51

We wouldnt be eligible for grants but they could take student loans/apply for scholarships etc.

Scholarships are very rare unless your child is a star athlete and even then ...

Yes your child can go to state school and if academic can get some merit money. But I think you need to look at what the actual cost is in the US right now - 70k for some schools. And when your middle-class child who has been encouraged by you through middle and high school to polish his/her college resume says "My college counsellor thinks I should apply to Swarthmore instead of University of New Hampshire" what are you going to say?

As for student loans - we aren't talking 20k total here. My goal in life was to make sure my children had what I had - starting life without a crippling student loan hanging over their heads.

I love living here. But I think you need to come here with your eyes open.

Honestly I think Ireland would be a wonderful choice for you. Why did you not think of it?

HerRoyalNotness · 27/09/2021 00:54

I’ve been trying to move back to the U.K. but I think with the current situation it is very unlikely to work out well. I’m in the US and dislike it greatly, it’s harder and more expensive than you’d think/plan for. I’ve got about 2 friends and 5 or so acquaintances after 8yrs. They don’t get me and I don’t get them. I’d like to try a different state but we live in one of the cheaper ones, so can’t afford the daily living if we can get a transfer.

dreamingbohemian · 27/09/2021 00:58

@Polestarsim

I went to uni in the US so that part I feel very comfortable with navigating. We wouldnt be eligible for grants but they could take student loans/apply for scholarships etc.
Are you happy for each child to have $200,000 in student loans?

I'm not exaggerating. That's a realistic amount for a decent school, especially 10-15 years from now.

It's a crippling way to start adulthood.

dreamingbohemian · 27/09/2021 00:59

I also don't know why you wouldn't consider Canada

Cameleongirl · 27/09/2021 01:09

@dreamingbohemian. That would be if they went out of state and had no parental support/didn’t get a job during university though, surely? I have friends with children at university right now and they’re not racking up that kind of debt.

Still a lot more than in Europe though.☹️

Pallisers · 27/09/2021 01:27

[quote Cameleongirl]@dreamingbohemian. That would be if they went out of state and had no parental support/didn’t get a job during university though, surely? I have friends with children at university right now and they’re not racking up that kind of debt.

Still a lot more than in Europe though.☹️[/quote]
I agree with this. It is possible for a young person to get a 4-year college degree from their state university with some merit money, some local scholarships, working and loans - you could come out from that with a good degree and less than 20k in loans which is managable.

The thing is for this OP it is clear they are potentially high earners and the trajectory from Burlington High School VT to UVM or similar isn't a given. Their children will likely be in junior/senior years with kids who are researching and applying to private schools that won't give aid to the OP. She really needs to stay focused on the reality that is likely here.

Cameleongirl · 27/09/2021 01:36

You’re right, pallisers. We live in a naice neighborhood and many kids are at private colleges. Some are in-state, of course, but one of my neighbors, for example, has one at Columbia and the other at Princeton. Goodness knows how they’re paying for it.

Polestarsim · 27/09/2021 07:12

@Pallisers That's really not right about scholarships only going to star athletes. There are SO many academic and special interest scholarships. I know because I got them! I went to a private university that was a tier down from where I could have gone because they offered me so much in scholarships. I was certainly not a star athlete. I remember my mother buying this huge book of scholarships and applying for all the ones I was remotely eligible for. I got loads!

I do agree that the cost is significant in the US vs the U.K. and also that the parent has to take on a much bigger chunk of the financial responsibility. It takes proper financial planning. Most college educated Americans start saving/planning when a child is born. US universities also take into account a parent paying for siblings which helps.

I did a 4 year liberal arts degree and then went on to get a post grad degree in the U.K. In my opinion the 4 year American degree had much better teaching and the range of subjects I was able to take was amazing.

If your child is very bright then the Ivy League schools can be some of the least expensive to attend despite the eye watering price tag.

OP posts:
Polestarsim · 27/09/2021 07:16

@MissMatty2hats Ireland is on the list. I just know so little about it. Again it's one of those places I've been on business which means I know what the inside of the Marriott looks like in Dublin! Any areas you'd recommend?

OP posts:
Frymetothemoon · 27/09/2021 07:19

@Skysblue

If I could live anywhere I’d choose Bermuda, or San Francisco, or Northern Italy - probably somewhere near Milan. Or perhaps Germany. Or Luxembourg. Definitely not France, too much anti-English feeling.

But it depends what languages you speak, no?

"Definitely not France, too much anti-English feeling."

Have you ever lived there? I have, for 10 years, and this is a load of nonsense!

theDudesmummy · 27/09/2021 07:23

Ireland

theDudesmummy · 27/09/2021 07:24

West of Ireland specifically (we are in Galway).

HarrisMcCoo · 27/09/2021 07:28

Finland. Great education system. Weather similar to here. Pay higher taxes but that's reflected in better quality of life.

bert3400 · 27/09/2021 08:54

We moved nearly 2 year ago to Spain. Best decision we made. Our DS12 goes to International school and loves it. He has so much freedom, to hang out with friends at the beach, ride his bike with little traffic. Its so safe here and my anxiety has disappeared. I think at his age it would of been be too much to learn a completey new language, also many classes in the local schools are taught in a 2nd language (Valenciano) which can lead to problems. We have a UK business that is run remotely - so good Internet is vital. PM if you have any questions.

Puppalicious · 27/09/2021 09:24

The big drawbacks IMO with Ireland are the cost of living/housing and the weather. However, it does have a lot of things going for it - it’s stable (compared to the UK anyway), good education, nice scenery…

queenofarles · 27/09/2021 09:24

Switzerland ? Zurich is a great city.

But realistically speaking , everywhere is not looking so peachy atm, COVID hit hard so many countries. I’d still choose the UK over anywhere tbh.

Puppalicious · 27/09/2021 09:24

Can you work anywhere and what sector are you in?

WeAreTheHeroes · 27/09/2021 09:33

Switzerland is incredibly expensive and jobs are "at will" as is frequently the case in the US.

theDudesmummy · 27/09/2021 11:39

I lived in London previously. The cost of living in rural Galway is very definitely lower than London.

Puppalicious · 27/09/2021 13:27

@theDudesmummy , but the rain in Galway….🌧🌧 - do you not find it a bit much sometimes?
I would suggest Waterford purely on the weather basis!

Polestarsim · 27/09/2021 14:34

@bert3400 That sounds ideal. Could you steer me toward schools to look at? Sorry I can't DM. It's never worked and I've never sorted it!

OP posts: