Children in Need- can anyone tell me what this involves

[cantbeleiveitshappening]

History of DV with partner. Police called twice. Young children who saw what happened. Social workers have decided they're going to put the children on the Child in Need plan. Can anyone tell me what this is? Will it follow them through school? Does this mean The children will taken from me?

Partner is out of the family and has sporadic contact but have vowed to make my life hell.

Older child is showing signs of ASD and I'm going down the assessment pathway.

I'm shattered, scared and feel all alone. Feel so guilty I've given my children a shit life and that they'll be condemned as adults for being known to social services.

childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/child-in-need-services/

School will be made aware of it yes. Doesn’t mean your children will be taken, if you work with SS.

You’ve not condemned your children but you do need to improve things for them going forward.

islingtonchildcare.proceduresonline.com/chapters/p_cin_planning.html#updating This link is also helpful although can vary authority to authority slightly

A Child in Need plan is intended to be supportive, it’s a way of social services keeping an eye on your children given domestic abuse, particularly given your children witnessed it. Social services will be looking at how you work with them to keep your children safe. They will be in contact with school and may involve other agencies to support you (eg Women’s Aid, Homestart).

It’s not a child protection plan, though if they continue to be concerned for your children they may move towards a child protection plan. At this stage it’s a supportive measure, there’s a very long road from a CiN plan and removing your children, try not to worry but use it as a way to make changes for you and your kids.

I'm a teacher so not an expert. As I understand it a child in need plan will set out what's going well for the children and what support is needed for the children and family moving forward. I think if there is a history of DV and this might be a way of you accessing support for yourself and your children - it could be a really positive thing. Try to be positive about this being a way to improve things for you and your children. Working with the social worker to prioritise the children's needs will have benefit for them even though it might be a worrying and scary time for you.

They won't be condemned as adults - I would have no idea now which adults I know might have been known to SS.

Is there anyone in real life you could talk to for some support?

Any poor decisions regarding the welfare of your children you have previously made were whilst you were under duress from your ex partner so it’s pointless beating yourself up over what has gone on.

Put the past behind you and do all you can to make your home a safe environment for you and your children.

Ask for help if you need it.

I’m blunt speaking so hope you won’t take offence but often women after being in a violent home still miss the familiarity of having a partner, even a dreadful one and it’s all too easy to quickly meet someone else just so as not to be on their own.

I would avoid doing that and concentrate on building your own strength to be a happy and confident woman and mother.

We often attract a partner of the same standard as how we perceive ourselves. If you have low self esteem then you are more likely to attract a bully.

They won't tell you this but a child in need plan is actually voluntary. I've declined one in the past.

A child in need plan is the level below child protection.
It is designed to be a supportive multi agency group ( so social services, school and health, any other professionals working with you)
It is voluntary but if you don't engage then social services may escalate your case to child protection.
It also looks like you have something to hide.

The idea would be to support your family to address any current issues then work to take you off the plan and close your case.

Key word MAY, like I said I’ve declined one, it wasn’t “escalated” and I “didn’t have anything to hide” I simply did not think it was necessary, but my advice would is if you wish to decline it my advice would be to ask the social worker what the consequences would be of you declining (the social worker in my case refused to answer this question) so I contacted the manager who told me nothing at all, and the case was closed.

Wow. I had no idea it was voluntary. The social worker, I feel, has no idea of what being a victim of DV looks or feels like. She's made several comments that have felt like she's blamed me for the situation I'm in. I had to stop her and tell her I didn't appreciate her comments but didn't want to come across as too confrontational in case she turned against me. Anyway, partner is fully out of the picture, the children are tiny but have suffered and there's no way I'm putting them through anymore. I've just applied for a job and am feeling a lot positive in getting my life on track but the rest of life feels shit. Can I refuse CIN based on the fact that partner has left and I'm now sole parent? I live in a tiny village where everyone knows one another- if word gets out (high chance it will) I'll be mortified and me and my kids will be socially ostracised.

What do I do next? Sw will be visiting on Monday and I don't want this situation to escalate any more than it already has.

@spicedappledonuts

A child in need plan is the level below child protection. It is designed to be a supportive multi agency group ( so social services, school and health, any other professionals working with you) It is voluntary but if you don't engage then social services may escalate your case to child protection. It also looks like you have something to hide.

The idea would be to support your family to address any current issues then work to take you off the plan and close your case.

My partner, the Children’s dad, has depression which he's struggling to manage. He pushed me when I was holding younger child and child got hurt. He then rang the police and told them I'd hit him. He made no mention of the child getting hurt. I had no idea this had happened as I'd taken child to the doctor to be seen to make sure she was okay. I got back home to a message on my voicemail saying SS were now involved because my child got hurt and I'd failed to protect them. Anyway, it's a partner vs me situation at the moment which is why SW doesn't want to close the case.

@Mariell

Any poor decisions regarding the welfare of your children you have previously made were whilst you were under duress from your ex partner so it’s pointless beating yourself up over what has gone on.

Put the past behind you and do all you can to make your home a safe environment for you and your children.

Ask for help if you need it.

I’m blunt speaking so hope you won’t take offence but often women after being in a violent home still miss the familiarity of having a partner, even a dreadful one and it’s all too easy to quickly meet someone else just so as not to be on their own.

I would avoid doing that and concentrate on building your own strength to be a happy and confident woman and mother.

We often attract a partner of the same standard as how we perceive ourselves. If you have low self esteem then you are more likely to attract a bully.

I don't want to be in any relationship with another man. Ever. I'm done. I'd much rather single and happy than coupled up and miserable which is how I've been for the past 8 years. Our troubles only really escalated during the second lockdown and have continued to get worse. Partner is now well and truly out of our lives.

If i were you i would just cooperate with them. From what you described they may move to child protection if you refuse

Work with them. They want what’s best for you and your children and if he’s out of your life then it may be temporary anyway just to check that all is well. It sounds like you’ve made positive steps so please don’t worry.

I also really wouldn't recommend trying to close down social services involvement.

With a child having ended up hurt in an altercation a child in need plan is actually being quite gentle, probably taking into account what you are saying about the perpetrator having permanently left.

As others have said a child in need plan is voluntary and if you were to say you dont want school involved then they would have to respect your wishes.
Equally a child in need plan should be about ensuring that you and your children get the right practical and emotional support in place to help you through this time.

Im sorry you felt judged by your social worker, you should not feel judged. If you do not feel comfortable working with them you can request a new worker. Explain your reasons and if possible with staffing they will understand and support you.
It will not impact on the outcome of your child in need plan if you share that you do not feel comfortable with this worker.

This may be outing but I used to work in Children’s services in a related role locally so I'm humiliated by what's happened since all my former colleagues are now aware of what's happened to me (exactly what my ex wanted), I don't want the children to be impacted by all this too.

Since ex left, I've worked very hard to get our lives on track- lots of love, reassurance and righting what was wrong when ex was in the picture, I've got myself into therapy, have applied for jobs for myself and have started taking children out and about again (I couldn't do this previously as ex was in charge of money and I didn't have access to any money). What else can SS help me with? SW mentioned sending me on a DV course- I helped write one for a former authority I used to work for. I need to learn how to drive so I'm more mobile and can extend what me and the children can access but I doubt SS will funding driving lessons!

Ex will get to a point where he'll want access to the children but I'll insist they're supervised visits somewhere local but for that I know I'll need to access legal support to help me with a child arrangement order. I doubt that's something SS can assist with?

I really, really don't want this CiN plan for the children. And, I really don't feel comfortable around this social worker. She's tries hard not to make it apparent but she is judging me so hard.

How do I request a new social worker? Do I tell her? I've had no paperwork to say who she is, where she works or a summary of what her involvement so far has been (letters, etc.) so I don't know who to call/contact.

It isn't usual to change social workers without a clear reason.
You have every right to raise a complaint about a worker but that wouldn't automatically lead to new worker being given your case.

You could write down the issues you have with your current worker, ask her details of her LA complaints procedure and send it in.

It may be that the worker would change anyway as many areas have different teams for intake and CIN.

You could also request a copy of the assessment that has been undertaken, usually when it has been completed it would be shared with you. You could ask for a full copy of the records held if you wished to.

I would still advise that you accept that given a child got hurt in an altercation between your husband and yourself some involvement of services is both sensible and warranted.

With all the progress you are making it doesn't sound like a case that would remain open for long.

Having social services working with you could be useful for you if your exH disputes the contact arrangements. In cases with a background of ss involvement the reports are often written by SW's rather than cafcass. So if they know you and support the efforts at safeguarding that you are making the reports are going to highlight this.

In disputed contact cases with safeguarding issues schools can also be a useful support.

Your children have already been impacted by the situation whether or not social services hold multiagency meetings won't change that.

SW mentioned sending me on a DV course- I helped write one for a former authority I used to work for.

That doesn’t mean you wouldn’t benefit from attending one as a participant. Knowing about domestic abuse, working with abused women, working with families where there’s domestic abuse isn’t any protect from ending up in an abusive relationship (as you sadly know), nor does it protect you from the psychological impact of domestic abuse. Attending as a person who has experienced domestic abuse and reflecting on that experience is very different to having a professional knowledge.

In terms of contact, a good IDVA will be able to help you negotiate arrangements and can support the need for supervised contact.

I can really understand your reluctance, but if you’ve worked in Children’s Services, you’ll have an understanding of the support that can be given through CIN processes. I’d expect professionals involved to be sensitive to your previous professional identity and really they should be maintaining confidentiality within their services.

I would recommend speaking to the family rights group if they still exist (mine was a few years ago) they really helped me and they are impartial, google cin plan it is voluntary I declined due to being worried about the stigma of having social services involved , but I would advise you to find out what would happen if you decline it that’s what you need to ask. Don’t decline it without asking that.

I declined early help as we felt we didn't need it now have ss involved but although I feel things are unfair and I'm not liking the situation I am just doing what they ask
So really wouldn't suggest you decline cin as it does look bad and engage with your health visitor as much as possible at all times

declining would only make it look like you’re not willing to help your children