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Original poster

Is it just me or are people more aggressive since lockdown?

93 replies

Happyharry2003 · 19/09/2021 11:12

Hello
I’m just wondering if it’s the life style
I lead (fairly quiet, full time job, teenagers and a couple of hobbies) but I am finding other people in all walks of life so aggressive and grumpy and quick to call you out of say something negative at the moment.

My life hasn’t changed since lockdown (I worked throughout not at home and was lucky to keep my job and have no ill health) and know people have been stressed or worried but it seems Covid has given people the excuse to just be rude and selfish!

Examples - colleague at work not liking something I’ve done. Not her decision - nothing to do with her. Rather than discussing it calmly just let rip at me.

Car drivers - seem more pushy and road ragey

More people saying ‘I just say it how is is’ and basically just come across rude and blunt with no attempt to be pleasant in shops.

It is by no means all people but it does feel a significant number of people have become more self centred, less aware of others feelings, expect what they want in life to happen immediately and get confrontational or cross if things aren’t done exactly the way they want or when they want it done!

During lockdown 1 it felt like everyone was championing ‘be kind and respect each other’ but now if feels very dog eat dog out there!

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 19/09/2021 11:22

People seem grumpier in general, and slightly irritated. Going shopping for instance is no fun any more.
I never go to have a look around the shops any more just for a browse. In and out for essential stuff on the list now.

Original poster
Happyharry2003 · 19/09/2021 11:26

Yes people do seem permanently irritated and ready to snap rather than before when people would at least usually hold themselves together a bit more!!!

OP posts:
Thomasina79 · 19/09/2021 11:49

I was talking to a lady who works on the checkouts locally who mentioned she was retiring earlier than planned because so many shoppers are so rude and angry. She is a lovely lady, helpful and kindly, always asks after the family. Apparently one customer in lockdown said ‘I hope you get covid’.

Original poster
Happyharry2003 · 19/09/2021 11:53

That’s awful! What is it about Covid that means people have no filter any more!

OP posts:
MeAndDebbieMcGee · 19/09/2021 12:00

Lots of people have found the last 18 months really stressful. Prolonged stress can make people irritable and short tempered. In addition none of us have been interacting as normal so we haven't had the benefit of the usual social models/expectations re how to behave and we've got out of the habit.

Oh and "be kind" is a bullshit message that does nothing. Most people would say they were kind just because they thought kind thoughts. It's not a phrase that has any effect on behaviour - you need specific instructions for that. We don't do this in the UK. The only public instructions we have are about things like 'don't go on other people's land' or 'don't dodge your train fare' or 'don't drive faster than X speed'. So now we've all come blinking and snarling back into the sunlight and no one has a clue how to behave and no one is telling us how to.

GettingUntrapped · 19/09/2021 12:03

I definitely notice it driving in London. It's become very stressful to get from A to B with aggressive, impatient drivers. Mostly male.
People in general are very stressed from the pandemic.

UuijungKo · 19/09/2021 12:03

I agree OP

Original poster
Happyharry2003 · 19/09/2021 12:04

I’m not sure we need to be told how to behave do we? Yes the last 18 months have been stressful. I have worked front line throughout so it’s not been an easy ride at all. But at the age of 45 I haven’t forgotten how to behave and be civil to people just because 18 months of my life have been affected by Covid

OP posts:
Original poster
Happyharry2003 · 19/09/2021 12:05

And are people all genuinely stressed from the pandemic or is this an excuse for many people to just say/do that they’ve always wanted to say/do without any of the niceness of before

OP posts:
WhenSheWasBad · 19/09/2021 12:05

I’ve talked to a few people who work on tills. They say people seem ruder and more entitled now.
I can only imagine how shit it is for waiting staff.

OddBoots · 19/09/2021 12:06

We live near an a trunk road and there are noticeably more car horn beepings going on now than there was before covid.

Sparklingbrook · 19/09/2021 12:08

The thing is the shop staff are just as stressed from the pandemic and in the case of food retail they've worked throughout the whole thing.

Original poster
Happyharry2003 · 19/09/2021 12:10

Exactly! I’ve worked in a mask free high risk environment for 18 months and I’m not snapping at everyone!

OP posts:
MeAndDebbieMcGee · 19/09/2021 12:10

I’m not sure we need to be told how to behave do we?

Well people aren't behaving so maybe we do. Or maybe it'll all shake down and be ok in the end.

waterwaterwine · 19/09/2021 12:11

Completely agree, people seem to be very easily irritated But I have to say my patience isn't what it was either.

Wonkydonkey44 · 19/09/2021 12:11

Totally agree , I work with 'the public' and I've never met a more rude, entitled , bunch of knobs in my life.
We were amazing when we were only one of the only services open during lock down March 2020 , now they feel they can say whatever they want to us. I've never told so many people to stop being rude or not to speak to me like that as I have done in the last 5 months.

Sparklingbrook · 19/09/2021 12:15

I was on hold on the phone the other day (work call about services that hadn't been provided from a large company) and the automated blurb at the beginning there was a lecture about how abuse wouldn't be tolerated and they can put the phone down etc

Wormsarecool · 19/09/2021 12:15

Yes, I’ve also found kids a lot more pushy/barging in on days out etc, parents just watching on letting them or nowhere to be seen whereas before the pandemic a lot more parents would encourage their children to wait/take turns. It feels like its everyone out for themselves/their own and it’s really horrible to see.

Original poster
Happyharry2003 · 19/09/2021 12:17

I’m sorry to hear of all these examples. But glad it’s not just me. J wonder if it will all stay like this. I don’t think we need teaching or reminding - young children and teenagers I’ve had contact with have remained polite, friendly and hard working. Why can’t adults just grow up and behave as well! I know many people will have gone through hell - I’m not dismissing that. I know of people who’ve lost family members and lost jobs - they haven’t automatically become rude and abnoxious. Why is ‘stress’ suddenly an acceptable reason for abuse and rudeness?

OP posts:
geillisduncan · 19/09/2021 12:24

Totally agree OP. People seem ready for a fight. I struggle to be out and about with the level of aggression on the roads. I'm a receptionist and people are definitely more confrontational than before. I find it sad.

MeAndDebbieMcGee · 19/09/2021 12:25

It's not an excuse but an explanation. You're asking why people are behaving badly. I think there's causation with the covid. Not everyone is behaving the same because people aren't identikit. But this broad trend that you say you've noticed coincides with covid happening, so it's probably related.

Stress plays out in different ways. Some people become aggressive - especially if they're actually traumatised which some are, it's a very common response to trauma - some withdraw, some are less affected than others, a very lucky few will experience personal growth as a result. But most people exhibit poor behaviour when subjected to prolonged stress.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 19/09/2021 12:25

Perhaps people who spent a long time on their own, or with one or own other people, have lost the art of casual conversation. I think many who were classed as vulnerable are still scared too and that makes people say and do things they might not have previously.

It’s all very divisive too- mask or no mask, vaccine or no vaccine, poor access to healthcare in many areas, prices rising, deliveries problematic,. It’s not acceptable to be offensive or rude, but I think many have been shaken by the events of the last eighteen months and things we knew and were familiar with have been turned upside down.
I do think that people have forgotten how to interact.

Mariell · 19/09/2021 12:27

The only people I’ve seen being bad tempered or anxious are those that have blindly followed all the nonsensical rules and are permanently masked, tested and jabbed!

That’s the state of mind the government want them to be in.

Original poster
Happyharry2003 · 19/09/2021 12:28

Yes you have good points. Do you think things will improve or is this it until another major life event takes over?

OP posts:
MeAndDebbieMcGee · 19/09/2021 12:32

Also, many people are grieving. I know that I am. Grief really skews your perception too. It took me ages to realise that some of the feelings I was having, while in the thick of lockdown, were actually just normal grief and shock responses. (Two people I cared for very much died within days of each other right at the start when people weren't getting into hospital.) And there's a lot of us around who have sadly experienced that, at a time when all of our social mechanisms were curtailed.