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Original poster

Is it just me or are people more aggressive since lockdown?

93 replies

Happyharry2003 · 19/09/2021 11:12

Hello
I’m just wondering if it’s the life style
I lead (fairly quiet, full time job, teenagers and a couple of hobbies) but I am finding other people in all walks of life so aggressive and grumpy and quick to call you out of say something negative at the moment.

My life hasn’t changed since lockdown (I worked throughout not at home and was lucky to keep my job and have no ill health) and know people have been stressed or worried but it seems Covid has given people the excuse to just be rude and selfish!

Examples - colleague at work not liking something I’ve done. Not her decision - nothing to do with her. Rather than discussing it calmly just let rip at me.

Car drivers - seem more pushy and road ragey

More people saying ‘I just say it how is is’ and basically just come across rude and blunt with no attempt to be pleasant in shops.

It is by no means all people but it does feel a significant number of people have become more self centred, less aware of others feelings, expect what they want in life to happen immediately and get confrontational or cross if things aren’t done exactly the way they want or when they want it done!

During lockdown 1 it felt like everyone was championing ‘be kind and respect each other’ but now if feels very dog eat dog out there!

OP posts:
Themadcatparade · 19/09/2021 16:37

People have been through a lot, and still are so I honestly am not surprised at this. I have noticed that I am less tolerant.m since covid. I’m not a rude person by all means in fact I’m more likely to hold my tongue and quite shy. But I’ve found myself being more straight forward and impatient and less tolerant of shit since lockdown. I think it makes me seem more abrupt to other people but I feel it’s done the world of good for me being a doormat!

BogRollBOGOF · 19/09/2021 18:55

My life was pretty much switched off for the first 6 months, then on/ off until well into this summer. It's been incredibly isolating especially through the first half when people we know were too terrified or too busy to meet. It's not good for social skills!

I've certainly not gone round being rude and ranting at people, but I'm a lip reader and can't cope with making face contact with people in masks. My tone of talking has remained polite, but it was bloody difficult trying to interact with people when their speech is distorted, and I can't lip read or cope with looking at the discombobulated eyes. That may have come over as more rude, but it's just been struggling to cope with horrid, dehumanusing rules that inhibit communication.

Since July when most rules have been dropped, my emotional range has become better balanced and the anxiety has dropped and happiness returned. It's so much better to interact with people normally at long last.

The standard of driving coming out of lockdown was dreadful, but it is settling... except Long Covid seems to have mutated to affect indicators of all makes and not just BMWs/ Audis Grin

bungabungaboo · 19/09/2021 19:04

Interesting post op, I think that people's driving is more aggressive, no one seems to want to give way 🙄

shinynewapple21 · 19/09/2021 19:15

I wonder OP if people have either been in the position where they have been fairly isolated at home and doing more communication over the internet than in person: or they have been working in a stressful environment and as such communication has also become abrupt .

I think that MN is a perfect example of people not being able to communicate without someone becoming defensive, abrupt or even aggressive in their response . Even some of the responses you've had on here . And this is probably then replicated in real life .

Original poster
Happyharry2003 · 19/09/2021 19:26

I have found it quite telling that some people writing on this thread have come across as quite abrupt and rude when disagreeing with something which I guess is a reflection of real life at the moment

OP posts:
LimitIsUp · 19/09/2021 19:39

Really? I have read the whole thread and it seems very civilised to me

Original poster
Happyharry2003 · 19/09/2021 19:41

Being described as ‘tone deaf’ isn’t particularly civilised in my opinion

OP posts:
LimitIsUp · 19/09/2021 19:43

Okay, perhaps I haven't read the thread as carefully as I thought

Pinkbonbon · 19/09/2021 19:45

I was just saying that to a friend the other day. People full on screaming at shop workers and in even the street way more than usual.

Original poster
Happyharry2003 · 19/09/2021 19:45

No worries! To be fair that was the only one and compared to the people I seem to see on a daily basis at the moment that was pretty polite in comparison!

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 19/09/2021 19:46

I thought it might be the heat though as it was back during the heatwave time I was really noticing it.

Original poster
Happyharry2003 · 19/09/2021 19:49

I’m not for one moment saying I’m perfect and don’t get cross or any get when I shouldn’t by the way. Of course I do! It’s just the general ‘feel’ of the country at the moment and the loud shouting about getting what you want. Someone said to me earlier how their christmas would be ‘ruined’ because there may not be a Turkey left due to food shortages. It got me thinking how horrid it will be in the run up to Christmas for many people working in supermarkets.

OP posts:
Maverickess · 19/09/2021 20:07

I noticed a decline pre pandemic to be honest when I worked in hospitality, but last summer when we opened again, drove me out after 4 months. I got shouted at, more than once, every single day, insulted, threatened and twice people got physical.
I think where 'staff' of any denomination are concerned, people have got used to everything going their way, don't like something and chances were it'd be changed to suit you, or you'd get an apology even if you were the one being rude and obnoxious.
During covid, laws changed which led to systems changing and no matter how loud some people shouted, or what they did, or threatened - they weren't relaxed until the government said they could be. That led to even more frustration, and then the staff started answering back, and despite using stress, covid and lockdown as an excuse for their own behaviour towards them, people weren't going to accept it back.
Just before I quit hospitality, one woman had me pinned against a wall with her finger in my chest, because I didn't have a table that she hadn't booked. I wasn't willing to squeeze more people in because that could land in us being closed and fined. She told me she was fucking sick of covid, she'd been locked up and I had no right to deny her what she wanted. I grabbed her hand, pushed it away from my chest and told her I was sick of covid too, that I'd been locked up as well and as I wasn't making the rules, I had no influence to change them. She replied that well everyone needs to vent, and if I couldn't take it I shouldn't be in hospitality. I took her advice!
Some people clearly feel that their rights are paramount and their responsibilities are negligible.

Pinkbonbon · 19/09/2021 20:11

@Happyharry2003

I’m not for one moment saying I’m perfect and don’t get cross or any get when I shouldn’t by the way. Of course I do! It’s just the general ‘feel’ of the country at the moment and the loud shouting about getting what you want. Someone said to me earlier how their christmas would be ‘ruined’ because there may not be a Turkey left due to food shortages. It got me thinking how horrid it will be in the run up to Christmas for many people working in supermarkets.
I used to get things like this all the time. I think it was worse in call centre jobs when I people facing one's but there are assholes everywhere:/

I remember specifically people who overspent on their TV package telling me it would ruin their kids Christmas if we canceled their (often £70+) package due to them being behind on payments.

You'd just want to say 'do you hear how shallow you sound right now!?'

crimsonlake · 19/09/2021 20:30

I have worked throughout and one thing I have definitely noticed is aggressive, impatient drivers ... and do not get me started about the lack of indicating.

EatSprayGlove · 19/09/2021 20:36

@crimsonlake

I have worked throughout and one thing I have definitely noticed is aggressive, impatient drivers ... and do not get me started about the lack of indicating.
Are you my husband as we had this exact conversation in the car today! Inconsiderate, unkind people everywhere at the moment. I do feel it's got worse.
ureterr1blemuriel · 19/09/2021 20:45

I totally agree & also think that the shit summer weather this year has not helped. The sunshine lifts people’s moods but there’s been a serious lack of it this summer/spring and winter was sooo long (& wet) and didn’t end until May. I managed to get abroad this summer and the Vit D did us wonders

pucelleauxblanchesmains · 19/09/2021 20:56

@TSSDNCOP

I think the "Cos a Covid" line is now fraying the last nerves of folk. Can't deliver despite confirming "cos a Covid", trying to contact any government agency and failing "cos a Covid", can't see a GP or dentist "cos a Covid" etc etc etc

We all had 18 months of disruption "cos a Covid" but by now our private companies have worked out how to man a phone line beyond 10-3 and not having to speak to someone who's clearly, from the echo, on their toilet.

Yes, my nerves are absolutely frayed and finding it so hard to get any medical help for various conditions that have deteriorated recently "because we're in a gloooobal pandemic" has made me very, very impatient.
TSSDNCOP · 19/09/2021 21:05

@pucelleauxblanchesmainsThanks

MeAndDebbieMcGee · 19/09/2021 21:12

I have noticed there's more drunk asshats out and about on public transport now. Seems whenever I go on a trip to anywhere there's people off their faces even at eg 11 in the morning. And drunk people are obviously more aggressive. I do know there's been a massive increase in alcohol consumption during the last 18 months so I'm sure that's a factor too. Even if people aren't actually drunk then they're bad tempered when they're hungover as well.

But in addition we've just none of us had the usual aspects of life that make us happy and release our stress levels, that get us engaged with society and people around us. Eg concerts, theatre, gigs, football matches, even just going round to a mate's house for a coffee and a natter - none of these were around. So instead of busting some moves at the weekend or putting the world to rights with the gang, people have been sat at home chugging down the booze and getting all nasty attitude and losing perspective.

rocklamp · 19/09/2021 21:13

Things are certainly quite tense out there.

DamnUserName21 · 19/09/2021 21:18

People were become more aggressive and impatient pre-covid but the pandemic has exacerbated this.
I think the busyness of our lives: families having to work two jobs, travelling, cost of living, social lives, child-rearing and all that entails, schooling...I think life is more stressful for people now. Then throw in a pandemic and all that entailed...
I sometimes wonder if society is heading for breaking point.

DamnUserName21 · 19/09/2021 21:19

Not to mention ageing population (and the stress this adds to family members) plus the ever-growing list of health conditions and disease being diagnosed...

MeAndDebbieMcGee · 19/09/2021 21:20

... and now not being treated lol

IvorHughJarrs · 19/09/2021 21:21

I work in a GP surgery and we have noticed a real trend to rudeness and aggression from patients and relatives. Several of our receptionists have been reduced to tears and clinicians have also had really rude and demanding behaviour, to the point that we now have tightened the rules on removing patients from the list if this happens.
The irony is that our surgery has maintained far more services than most, with face to face appointments every day and our main restriction being keeping up with demand
I understand the stress argument but do not think it excuses the kind of aggression we are seeing