Is it just me or are people more aggressive since lockdown?

[Happyharry2003]

Hello
I’m just wondering if it’s the life style
I lead (fairly quiet, full time job, teenagers and a couple of hobbies) but I am finding other people in all walks of life so aggressive and grumpy and quick to call you out of say something negative at the moment.

My life hasn’t changed since lockdown (I worked throughout not at home and was lucky to keep my job and have no ill health) and know people have been stressed or worried but it seems Covid has given people the excuse to just be rude and selfish!

Examples - colleague at work not liking something I’ve done. Not her decision - nothing to do with her. Rather than discussing it calmly just let rip at me.

Car drivers - seem more pushy and road ragey

More people saying ‘I just say it how is is’ and basically just come across rude and blunt with no attempt to be pleasant in shops.

It is by no means all people but it does feel a significant number of people have become more self centred, less aware of others feelings, expect what they want in life to happen immediately and get confrontational or cross if things aren’t done exactly the way they want or when they want it done!

During lockdown 1 it felt like everyone was championing ‘be kind and respect each other’ but now if feels very dog eat dog out there!

As for what will happen, I dunno. Humans take their cues from each other, society changes, none of us know how the whole covid thing is going to play out anyway. Generally I would hope people find ways to make society work because we all tend to feel better that way so it's in all of our interests to do so. But there's so many unknowns with everything ... who can predict? (I also think this makes people snappy btw! Most of us are creatures of habit rather than free wheeling free spirits. That's why we have calendars and clocks!)

I am definitely not rude but this bullshit 'be kind' message that is absolutely everywhere needs to do one!
Personally I would replace it with treat others as they treat you.....be kind is just another way of saying let any arsehole walk all over you just in case they are having a bad time.....no thanks!
People definitely are more snappy at the moment and I can't really blame them, its interesting that you say your life remained pretty much unchanged during the lock down, most people weren't so lucky.
I was living in a house I hated after a traumatic event, relatives had to stay with me for over a month due to their circumstances changing. The kids were home climbing the walls because they couldn't see their friends or do any of their usual activities. I had to work from home which was awful. I stopped taking as much care with my appearance and consequently felt awful. Can you genuinely not see why people were very very stressed and unhappy? I think it will take a long time for people to feel anything like normal again.
It definitely doesn't excuse the rude behaviour to retail staff etc but I think the lockdown will affect the country for a long time yet.

Oh absolutely I dread answering the phone at work these days it’s almost that they want to start a argument with you . People are more grumpy and argumentative definitely I think even I feel quite grumpy too .
It’s possible it’s the pandemic with the constant media and social media people are quite stressed about rule changes/ catching Covid and general worry . Or maybe people are just getting ruder , I don’t know but I know most people have a lot of pressures for all sorts or reasons and possibly just take it out on the poor shop assistant or on the phone . Yesterday I really wanted to complain to shop assistant because they’ve moved the aisles round again in Asda which annoys me I couldn’t find what I wanted I was in a rush etc . I didn’t because it’s not there fault but things like this give me the rage but we need to remember not to take it out on others .

Ok when I said my life was unchanged I meant the physicalities of staying alive, having a job and a house. I did not mention the stress of working in impossible conditions as a key worker, the fact my two children had to stay at home and fend for themselves in two lockdowns because neither myself nor my husband could take time off work or work from Home, the fact I’ve lost all enjoyment in life as I’ve put on lots of weight and am waiting for a very delayed hysterectomy. We all have problems and I have lost jobs and families members in the past. I didn’t take it out on everyone around me. Just because it happened during the 18 months of Covid doesn’t make it any worse than the same events happening before and after

And I’ve never liked the ‘be kind’ message - it’s usually an excuse for people to say or do what they want and expect everyone around them to put up with their behaviour. The whole ‘be kind, people have been through a stressful 18 months’ highlights this!

I don't think you should underestimate having a job that meant you were out during lockdowns. I absolutely appreciate they came with extreme risk, but speaking for myself, the fact I was "allowed" to be out undoubtedly saved my MH for deteriorating more than it did.

I also think that as we resume, there are those amongst us that have found their lives, their hopes etc are changed. lockdown just went in too long for many people and they'll need time to recover. It's an awful thing OP to find that you aren't the person you thought you were.

There will be people like you and the people you know who had horrible impacts that are able to manage better, but I don't think that can be said for everyone.

I've found people seem more cheerful lately. I hope it lasts at least to half term.

We're back in the office hybrid working and everyone is happily going to lunch together/to the pub on Fridays (most people are mid/late 20s).

Same at DS1s primary school, we finally don't have to social distance anymore and it's nice to actually chat to other parents in the playground/arrange playdates.

Church seems busier too. People are back to bringing their small DC along where for ages it used to be adults and older/well behaved children.

When I have to phone other companies at work people don't seem any rude than they did pre-pandemic.

Well that’s great news! I guess i should add that I haven’t managed the 18 months fine. Neither has my sen child. But I guess my initial reaction when things are tough is to go quieter and stay home more when others may become louder and dominant. I’m lucky to have a job that I went out to but I don’t agree it’s easier than working from home - just different. It certainly wasn’t easy leaving my two children alone for months on end. At the end of the day I guess we are just all different. It does seem from the answers on this post that many people also find people ruder and angrier than they did before and that there are many reasons for this

@Happyharry2003

I’m not sure we need to be told how to behave do we? Yes the last 18 months have been stressful. I have worked front line throughout so it’s not been an easy ride at all. But at the age of 45 I haven’t forgotten how to behave and be civil to people just because 18 months of my life have been affected by Covid

I think it's obvious people have more stress in their lives and this can result in grumpiness. Perhaps they don't have the support systems you have, or are less able to emotionally regulate. Your post comes across as tone deaf.

And before anyone says I could have sent my sen child in to school as I am a key worker, he has health issues and I wanted to keep him as safe as I could which meant him not being in school

@Happyharry2003

That’s awful! What is it about Covid that means people have no filter any more!

Possibly the culture that was pushed to report everyone who "broke the rules". A fair amount of people think they are now entitled to know everything about your life (e.g vaccination status) and think they can challenge you whenever they like (e.g mask wearing).

I won't think twice now about telling someone to bugger off if they start being like that.

Tone deaf? Why? I have my husband which I’m lucky to have but no other support systems or friends really for that matter due to my son having sen and people backing away. I certainly do not have an easy life - I’m just not rude or nasty to people because of it

And I totally agree about people feeling they can ask all sorts of questions that they wouldn’t feel they could before. I choose to answer or not answer. Neither side needs to be rude about it

Just because you are stressed - does it mean you can treat someone else like shit and make them feel miserable as well?

It doesn't and shouldn't of course, but we are trying to explain why it might. You have coped despite trying circumstances, but not everyone has. Recovery will take some people longer than others.

I didnt see any of the we are all in this together be kind stuff during lockdown. My neighbors became unimaginably worse. I'm less patient now because of this.

I think the "Cos a Covid" line is now fraying the last nerves of folk. Can't deliver despite confirming "cos a Covid", trying to contact any government agency and failing "cos a Covid", can't see a GP or dentist "cos a Covid" etc etc etc

We all had 18 months of disruption "cos a Covid" but by now our private companies have worked out how to man a phone line beyond 10-3 and not having to speak to someone who's clearly, from the echo, on their toilet.

People do seem to have come out of lockdown being totally arseholes, especially on the roads. There is a junction about 100 meters away from our house and we never used to hear the horns, now it is every few minutes when outside and the tiny penis brigade with their loud cars driving aggressively and unsafely seem to be worse than ever.

I work in B2B sales and I've noticed that even in business people are more entitled, aggressive and, on more occasions, extremely rude!

Not just you. People have lost their minds!! My work has been badly affected by covid and brexit. Clients are understandably frustrated but there is absolutely no need for the passive aggressive or blatant vile behaviour. I have had hardworking colleagues doing their best for people yet reduced to tears with thier disgusting attitudes.

How I haven't stabbed someone is a miracle. I do visualise it though. It helps

@TSSDNCOP but it IS because of covid. We are still working under strained circumstances in order to keep everyone safe. Brexit has brought additional pressure as predicted and its bloody hard.

There has been a global pandemic that has claimed the lives of hundreds of thousands of people and destroyed businesses. It is pretty bloody niave to get all eye rolley because the ramifications of this will be felt for years and not gone away just because Boris says you don't need to wear a mask any more.

We may be rational and intelligent but we're basically animals. If you put an animal in a cage or other unnatural situation odds are you're going to change its behaviour for the worse.

This past 18 months has changed me. I don't think I'm necessarily aggressive but I'm more indifferent to other people I think as my social world has drastically shrunk.

Well, I don't think I was eye rolly, and I have noticed the pandemic too.

I was highlighting the "cos a Covid" as a reason behind the recipients lack of tolerance.

I find it is being used an an excuse for not doing things. If you don't, we clearly don't experience the same things daily. It doesn't mean both our experiences aren't legitimate.

I didn't nor do I expect instant normalcy, and that has nothing to do with mask wearing, but because after a society is shut that would be unrealistic.

But if cos a Covid is going to continue to be the default of why things can't be done, when collectively folk are trying to live with it and are trying to readjust and recover I think it will be seen as obstruction to the creativity and commitment and understanding we need to wade out of this awful period.

I am genuinely surprised at this thread - I've detected no difference in behaviour between pre and post pandemic.

I should say post lockdown since it's not really post pandemic yet