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Original poster

Am I the only evil mother in the world that doesn’t do sleepovers?!

68 replies

Loveatthe5anddime · 18/09/2021 07:29

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve grudgingly (and made a load of fun!) held a few for birthdays but I absolutely hate them and apparently I’m the worst parent in the world because of it

We have a fairly small house, 3 DC of the same sex all quite close in age and the logistics as well having to manage the 2DC that want to hang around the sleepover party and that drama that creates stresses me out. We also have a dog who can be quite grumpy and that is always on my mind.

My weekends are for family dinners, movie nights, romantic dinners for two with DH, having the window to lift the the electronics curfew and plugging all 3 DC in for a bit peace and quiet, drinking too much wine and putting the world to rights over the phone with my friend...

I should also add that all 3 of my DC have very active social lives, sports, hobbies, clubs, days out, shopping a very good parent taxi service which includes friends as well so I’m not a complete arsehole I just really hate sleepovers!

Anyone else?

OP posts:
Claraboochuffing · 18/09/2021 07:31

I hate them too! I let dd have them as she is an only child. .but very begrudgingly!

DominicRaabsTravelAgent · 18/09/2021 07:32

I've had them. I think DD has come to the conclusion that she likes her own space too much, thank goodness Grin

BootsScootsAndToots · 18/09/2021 07:33

🙋

I have 2 DC (10 and 6) and never had a sleepover at mine. Luckily dd1 friend who she's had sleepovers at doesn't like to stay away from home so won't reciprocate.

Hoping for the same luck with dd2 😂

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Families
Camrette · 18/09/2021 07:37

We rarely host them because dp starts work at 5am on weekends.

Original poster
Loveatthe5anddime · 18/09/2021 07:38

This is so reassuring as it’s a weekendly thing round here, I think maybe because we are quite rural so it’s not as easy for kids to meet up!

There is not a Friday night where someone doesn’t says “Mum can ...... stay over” 😬 Husband doesn’t mind them, but I guess he’s not worrying about the state of bedrooms, bathrooms, girls squabbling, dogs growling, leaving them in the house on there own in the morning for sports clubs etc, fussy eaters, noise levels....

GRRRR!! 🤬

OP posts:
ForTheLoveOfSleep · 18/09/2021 07:39

Never had a sleepover here or had any friends over after school by arrangement. My girls have more of a free flow thing now they are older where their friends can just come in and hang out. My children are 6, 11 & 12.

Bagelsandbrie · 18/09/2021 07:40

No I hate them as well. Will grudgingly do one for a birthday but that’s it. I like to have peace at night and wake up without other people in my house!

nc4565 · 18/09/2021 07:42

Not being goady but why did you have 3DC if you don't like doing DC-type things?

WreckTangled · 18/09/2021 07:42

I hate them too. Our house is tiny and dd and ds are still sharing which makes it even more difficult. Dd thinks I'm the worst mum ever. I really dislike having anyone in the house actually Grin

Matilda82 · 18/09/2021 07:43

Does anyone like sleepovers ? Surely not. If you're not going to ever host that's your choice, but then presumably you don't send your child on sleepovers either.

I'm very glad mine are now 14 and 16 and we are over that. Or at most it happens a few times a year with 1 child at a time and they are old enough to sort them selves out.

SheWoreYellow · 18/09/2021 07:43

I hated them till they were about 11, then they’re not that much bother.

The noise issue is the only thing at that point. Can you get them to sleep in the sitting room to help with that?

Original poster
Loveatthe5anddime · 18/09/2021 07:44

@nc4565

Not being goady but why did you have 3DC if you don't like doing DC-type things?
Not being goody either “things” is plural...

I don’t like sleepovers, we go way over and beyond in every other area of our DC lives.

OP posts:
Claraboochuffing · 18/09/2021 07:45

@nc4565

Not being goady but why did you have 3DC if you don't like doing DC-type things?
That's hilarious
Veronika13 · 18/09/2021 07:46

Ah that's harsh, as your Children DO like them.
I used to love sleepovers with my friends, have some warm memories of them.

SheWoreYellow · 18/09/2021 07:46

@nc4565

Not being goady but why did you have 3DC if you don't like doing DC-type things?
When you’re planning a baby you don’t necessarily know that you won’t like sleepovers.

Plus is everyone good at everything?

I’m happy to
Wade through mud
Make slime
Do baking
Chat and chat
Go to museums
Read to them
Take them swimming

Less happy to play role play games and have people over (but I did sometimes)

Are you happy to do absolutely all of the parenting activities that you could?

BigButtons · 18/09/2021 07:50

I hated them- have 6 dc- all older now. I did them though. I absolutely hate swimming pools because I get so cold, I took them swimming once a week though.
Surely you just do these things even though you hate them?

NoSquirrels · 18/09/2021 07:52

If they’re always asking I’d make a rule - one non-birthday sleepover per child per year, takes place in school holidays only. Non-birthday sleepovers = one friend only.

In summer you can stick them in the garden in a tent!

nc4565 · 18/09/2021 07:52

@Loveatthe5anddime I know "things" is plural. You said in your OP you don't like sleepovers AND hosting birthday parties. 2 things.

Fucking hell 😂

Original poster
Loveatthe5anddime · 18/09/2021 07:55

[quote nc4565]@Loveatthe5anddime I know "things" is plural. You said in your OP you don't like sleepovers AND hosting birthday parties. 2 things.

Fucking hell 😂 [/quote]
No I didn’t.

If you go back and read my OP I said I grudgingly hold sleepovers for birthdays not that I don’t like them.

Who doesn’t like birthdays?!

OP posts:
stilldumdedumming · 18/09/2021 07:56

My dd is older but I absolutely loved having them - just not too many kids at once. In secondary we did them on school nights too!

Lollipop444 · 18/09/2021 07:58

No, I hate them too. We have done them in the past and thankfully they are too old for them now 16/15. I won’t be rushing into any with my youngest (8).

GeorgiaGirl52 · 18/09/2021 08:00

I did one sleepover a year for my two DDs. That was New Year's Eve.
They could each invite four girls to come from 6pm NYE until 11am NYD. I provided pizza, snacks and brunch. There were movies running all night. (This was before computer games.) It was a very popular party because the parents did not have to arrange childcare and could party longer and more freely.

Iom92 · 18/09/2021 08:05

I agree with you op, and have said no to weekend sleepovers for this reason. Luckily I’m a teacher, so ‘happy’ 😬 to host them during holiday time throughout the year instead.

If I wasn’t a teacher and didn’t have this option, I think I probably would relent on the odd occasion though as I know how much my kids love them.

Bibbetybobbity · 18/09/2021 08:05

Sorry but I think you have to unclench a bit. I used to hate sleepovers too, but if you’re being asked this much then it’s obviously important to your dc’s and par for the course in their group of mates.

I don’t think sleepovers are on a par with other parenting likes/dislikes really - it’s a different thing. And as the dc’s get older, sleepovers and being a welcoming house with the flex for an extra guest is very helpful for knowing your dc’s friends (harder otherwise at secondary and beyond) and having a better understanding of what’s going on. Otherwise they’ll all troop off to their mates’ houses… where you might not have a clue what they’re up to…

Mummyoflittledragon · 18/09/2021 08:08

I get it with 3 kids. Your dcs like it so it’s unfair to never to them imo as they will not get invited to them if there is no reciprocation. I’d do a knock out one friend each once a year or something. I did one with 5 friends once when dd was 11. Very little sleep.