Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Am I the only evil mother in the world that doesn’t do sleepovers?!

68 replies

Loveatthe5anddime · 18/09/2021 07:29

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve grudgingly (and made a load of fun!) held a few for birthdays but I absolutely hate them and apparently I’m the worst parent in the world because of it

We have a fairly small house, 3 DC of the same sex all quite close in age and the logistics as well having to manage the 2DC that want to hang around the sleepover party and that drama that creates stresses me out. We also have a dog who can be quite grumpy and that is always on my mind.

My weekends are for family dinners, movie nights, romantic dinners for two with DH, having the window to lift the the electronics curfew and plugging all 3 DC in for a bit peace and quiet, drinking too much wine and putting the world to rights over the phone with my friend...

I should also add that all 3 of my DC have very active social lives, sports, hobbies, clubs, days out, shopping a very good parent taxi service which includes friends as well so I’m not a complete arsehole I just really hate sleepovers!

Anyone else?

OP posts:
Mandalordeloris · 18/09/2021 08:09

@nc4565

Not being goady but why did you have 3DC if you don't like doing DC-type things?
Sleepovers aren't a DC thing though🤷‍♀️

My DH and I are both one of four kids and we never had sleepovers as kids.

We've had occasional ones for nieces/nephews, but this is more about helping out siblings than for the kids.

My kids can manage their own social circle without me having to entertain for them.

DDUW · 18/09/2021 08:10

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

freshcarnation · 18/09/2021 08:14

I didn't do them. They weren't sleepovers. They were wakeovers

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Original poster
Loveatthe5anddime · 18/09/2021 08:15

Bibbety...

I do have DC friends in the house, often! We also ferry children about, share club/hobby runs, organise trips, activities.

I have a good grasp of and relationship with DC’s friends, social groups, friends parents etc and this has always been very important to both myself and DH

I just don’t like sleepovers!!!

OP posts:
Nonicknamesforcatapillars · 18/09/2021 08:16

I’ve never minded them too much. The big ones when they were younger for birthdays etc when you have 6 kids camped out in the living room could be annoying. But not the end of the world.

How we DH hates them with a passion. He is ok with one friend sleeping in their room, but more than that abs he’s a grumpy meant twat. So we tend not to have them often.

Dds are older now anyway. Dd1 hasn’t ask for anyone to stay for years. Dd2 I know would like to have a few friends to sleep over, but rarely asks for more than one at a time due to grump DH.

CaptainCorelli · 18/09/2021 08:20

Me too. I did a couple when DD was younger and even with a small group of polite, generally well behaved girls no-one slept and they took over the house. DS’s friends are a lot louder and less polite so it’s not happening. We both work full time so weekends are for relaxing and spending time as a family. They see their friends all week at school.

Finknottlesnewt · 18/09/2021 08:20

I had them pretty much most weekends . Couldn't really count as it was so normal. Small house too. 3 beds 3 kids 4 Dsc EOW.. bring a friend, find a sleeping bag.. enjoy. !

I fucking loved it. So did DH. Huge amounts of fun . Played board games. Hide and seek when younger. Movie nights ..

Today my youngest goes to Uni. I would give anything for those days again.

Molly1418 · 18/09/2021 08:22

I hate them too! However, my DD is an only child since the primary school our house has been an open house, birthdays, sleepovers all these years and I was hoping they will stop when they hit puberty. In fact my DH and I have decided to stop them as the start of secondary school- well it didn't happen on fact the amount of pleas have increased- now she started sixth form and few sleepovers already now I am fed up! I had a talk to my DD that it is my weekend too I work too hard during the week and I don't want to share our small space in our house with another young person in the house, I want to lay in maybe and not worry about tidying up cleaning for a change etc. My DH is in retail so he is off during weekdays so he is fine in a way. She says her friends will not be judging if the house isn't tidyConfusedGrin I absolutely hate them but it seems like we still have way to go until university

Original poster
Loveatthe5anddime · 18/09/2021 08:27

@Nonicknamesforcatapillars

I’ve never minded them too much. The big ones when they were younger for birthdays etc when you have 6 kids camped out in the living room could be annoying. But not the end of the world.

How we DH hates them with a passion. He is ok with one friend sleeping in their room, but more than that abs he’s a grumpy meant twat. So we tend not to have them often.

Dds are older now anyway. Dd1 hasn’t ask for anyone to stay for years. Dd2 I know would like to have a few friends to sleep over, but rarely asks for more than one at a time due to grump DH.

That’s so funny, as it’s me that’s the grumpy one, (not to the children that are staying obviously)

DH couldn’t care less and I think secretly thinks I’m a bit miserable!

OP posts:
TheWeatherWitch · 18/09/2021 08:34

I had three dd’s in 2 years.A 2 year old, a one year old a newborn.

My poor youngest Sarah could never have a sleepover as her best friend ‘Kacey B’ would cry and want her mummy every fu@king time every. Fucking. Time.

The amount of times we phoned Kaceys parents at 10. Or 11 or beyond Is ridiculous.

00100001 · 18/09/2021 08:38

Never did them.

00100001 · 18/09/2021 08:39

@TheWeatherWitch

I had three dd’s in 2 years.A 2 year old, a one year old a newborn.

My poor youngest Sarah could never have a sleepover as her best friend ‘Kacey B’ would cry and want her mummy every fu@king time every. Fucking. Time.

The amount of times we phoned Kaceys parents at 10. Or 11 or beyond Is ridiculous.

Why did you keep agreeing to them?
CovoidOfAllHumanity · 18/09/2021 08:45

I hate hate hate them and its a birthday treat only thing around here and that through gritted teeth

I am a light sleeper and if they are awake then I am awake. I hate shouting at other peoples kids to go to bloody sleep at 3am

We live in a small terraced house and I and the neighbours can hear everything which adds to my stress.

Both my kids need their sleep and are really grumpy the next day if they don't get it as am I so I know from bitter past experience that any fun they have at the sleepover will be cancelled out by a crappy mood all the next day.

It was an upside of Covid that I haven't had any pressure to host one for 2 years.

Yourheartwillleadyouhome · 18/09/2021 08:46

I didn't like them but I do think it's good to do an occasional one. My DC are grown up now but I found the best thing was to do something like swimming to physically tire the kids out then leave them to it mostly in the living room in the evening. Just bobbing in to check up sometimes.

MintyGreenDream · 18/09/2021 08:47

I've never done one and doubt I'd encourage it

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 18/09/2021 08:49

My children are too young but I really really don’t want to host sleepovers. I hated them even as a child having to go to them and I don’t want to be responsible for other peoples children overnight.

megletthesecond · 18/09/2021 08:50

Never had one. And only ever had one playdate thanks to my youngests destructive behaviour.

SilenceOfThePrams · 18/09/2021 08:51

Nope. Don’t do them. Never have. Never will. We do plenty of other things, we have whole family house parties on a semi regular basis, we holiday with family friends or actual family. But we have only ever hosted children without parents on an emergency basis.

sofakingcool · 18/09/2021 08:51

I don't mind them since we converted our garage - so more space and limited noise. Wasn't keen before then!

mapleleavesreturn · 18/09/2021 08:54

I'm so glad mine don't do them, I do think at age 10 and up being able to stay away from your parents and growing independence has value but surely when they're small it's mostly for the non sleepover holding parents to get a break?

AutumnOrange · 18/09/2021 09:05

I hated my dd having sleepovers until she hit 16. Now every couple of weeks I regularly have 5-6 teenage girls sleeping in my lounge. I now know her friends really well - they often gravitate to the kitchen to chat with me 😂 about boys etc They are all nice and respectful and there is no bickering! Plus the condition of the sleepover is that they all tidy up the next so my lounge often ends up tidier and cleaner than it was when they first arrived 😂
I am quite happy for them to continue - what shocks me are the parents who haven’t bothered to contact me even though their dd stays over here regularly!
I have fond memories of doing similar when I was 16.
Oh and on the sleepovers I normally get a cooked breakfast because my dd does one for them all so that’s a win for me!

WhereIsMyDaffodil · 18/09/2021 09:08

DS is 8 and I hope we can get through primary school without any sleepovers...

If I don't get enough sleep then I struggle a lot throughout the day emotionally. Having to be sleep deprived and responsible for extra children would send me scatty.

No one has mentioned sleepovers in DS friendship group so far so guess we are lucky.

I did however have a lot of sleepovers when I was a kid. I didn't mind the ones at my house but hated going to others houses. I didn't feel I could say no though.

crazyguineapiglady · 18/09/2021 09:09

I've only ever done sleepovers with cousins or on birthdays!

Mine are all pre-teen and the older ones are boys though so maybe it isn't so much of the thing for them.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 18/09/2021 09:12

We've done two this summer. More hassle than they are worth. Tons of blow up beds, sleeping bags, choc crumbs and shrieking kids with endless dietary requirements. Plus sleep deprived and grumpy aftermath for us.

I'm not in a hurry to make it an open house until they are old and sensible enough to clean up after themselves. So special occasions only for now.

Mariell · 18/09/2021 09:18

They were unheard of when I was a child in the 1960s/70s and when I had children in the 1990s I was surprised to learn of it and I never entertained the idea.

Neither of my children were interested in hosting one nor going to other children for one.