Things you thought were normal/harmless until joining mumsnet

[Antsinyourpanta]

(Lighthearted )
lots of things that I thought were quite normal /fine/harmless before I joined MM seem to be quite abhorrent to a large percentage of posters. I often find myself wondering about whether my perceived normal is actually the minority. Some examples

Home made food or cakes - I bloody love home made cakes and think they are always nicer than shop bought - my first thoughts when offered one is usually yum, a cake! I've never given a moments thought to whether the person owns cats or dogs or has a hygeine certificate.

Ensuite bathrooms - I've got an ensuite bathroom. It's used for any instance where you may need a toilet. Apparently this is very very wrong.

Eating carbs

Bayliss and Harding toiletries - I would not be offended by this as a gift unless it was from my husband

(I'm with you on Thorntons though - they are nasty)

Answering the door to someone - if I see ex criminals selling stuff door to door, I dont answer, otherwise I dont have a problem with answering the door, and i get on with all of my neighbours.

Speaking to and socialising with work colleagues - i speak to, socialise (outside of work) and am friends with most of my work colleagues. I'd count many of them as friends. We buy each other birthday cards and presents and sometimes bring in cakes. (See point 1)

What are the things you've been educated on since joining MN?

I wash my sheets when it occurs to me to do it, not twice a day. I wash my towels once a week not every time someone breathes on them. I don't use bleach. I have male friends that I do not want to have sex with and are not a threat to my marriage or me to theirs. I play golf. My 24 year old daughter lives at home. I eat home made cakes randomly left in the kitchen at work with "eat me" notes on them, without a second thought. I eat food after its use by date if it smells OK.

Grapes

I have a chiminea.
I have a toilet brush.
I leave my washing out overnight.
I have pink and blue jobs in my house.
My work colleagues are just that.
I chuck all washing in together.
I don't preheat my oven.

I do my 19 year old’s washing. Well I don’t , I bung it in the machine with mine and press ‘start’. Terrible I know.

@Lokdok

Grapes

This and many other things make me amazed my children reached adulthood (no criticism at all of people who hare aware of all these hazards, MN didn't exist when I needed to know!)

Step mums are universally hated on mumsnet as I found out when I became one…

No idea why loo brushes are hated. You do have to scrub sometimes, what do people do?!

All children seem to have amazingly healthy food on here, and all eat up that broccoli. Where do these children come from that all happily eat broccoli?

Dressing in a shalwar kameez that my husband had brought me from India as beautiful uncut embroidered cloth. I had made it up and was proud of my handiwork, wore it to an Indian restaurant and hoped I’d be paying homage to the very nice family that runs the place.

I got called out for cultural appropriation.

Taking the kids to school. An alien reading MN would get the impression its more dangerous than Kabul. School mums (dads are safe though) parking, lunches, Reading levels, parent evenings, ofsted ratings, applications...

Housework and cleanliness.

Using a toilet brush
Showering every other day if WFH and not otherwise doing activities that will make me dirty.
Not caring about people "Popping in" if they are passing

@AubergineParmigiana

Sharing towels sometimes with other household members

Actually that's a good example, as "sharing towels" has two different meaning and I thought only one existed before I found MN.

So when someone says they don't share towels they can mean:

They do not use a towel that someone else used (each person in the household gets a clean towel, and uses only that one until it goes into the wash)

Or

Thet do not use a towel that someone has used, ever. (Each person in the household had their own towels - usually colour coded - and they only ever use thier towels even if they are clean.)

I used to send DS to nursery with a cereal bar and a can of Coke Zero as his snack.

I had NO IDEA. The staff used to look at me like this:

In my defence, I was about 20, no other parent friends, no internet access and no help. I genuinely had to wing it.

But then I came on mumsnet and learn stuff.

@Sparklingbrook

I do my 19 year old’s washing. Well I don’t , I bung it in the machine with mine and press ‘start’. Terrible I know.

When I was at home, whoever wanted washing doing did the whole load dark/white. Sometimes parents, sometimes older kids. It makes no sense to have separate loads by person!

Homemade cakes at school fairs etc. - anything baked in the oven is fine by me.

Sharing towels with dh - we always have. I’ve never been able to understand how finicky people can be about sharing towels with some you (presumably) have sex with.

I do often wonder how the more hygiene-obsessed MNers ever manage to have sex at all. Do they go over his bits first with Dettol and a Brillo pad?

It does come across that for some posters MN is the first time they come across different people, or possibly just other people.

I suppose some of the things ie washing (I wash towels and undies together) or what you use an ensuite bathroom for, dont come up in conversation so I just wouldnt know what other peoples "normal" was (and didnt realise how many variations of normal there were) but things like eating home made stuff - everyone at work (even those more germ conscious) eats home made cakes, and the cake stall at school fairs is always the first to sell out so I was unaware how many people felt quite squeamish about the idea. And when I go out to eat with family or friends everyone eats carbs.

I still dont get the loo brush thing, what do people do, put their hands into the loo and scrub the skids off with a cloth? What do you do with the cloth?? I know id rather have a cheap loo brush that can be rinsed in the bleached water and stored separately then changed regularly without putting my hand in the loo!

Exactly @TartanJumper. All this ‘doing the teenager’s laundry’ talk. I’m not going down to the riverbank and scrubbing it with rocks.
Whoever is passing when the machine bleeps to say it’s finished empties it. It’s really not a big deal in my house.

I always thought it was perfectly normal to address an issue at the time of an incident occurring.

On Mumsnet the norm is to say nothing at the time but go home and then ask Mumsnet what they should have said or done!

Examples -

A woman over the park spat on me. Should I have said something?

I got run over by a steam roller and my leg is completely flattened, should I go to A&E?

Having an opinion.

I got run over by a steam roller and my leg is completely flattened, should I go to A&E?

No just phone 111 for advice instead of wasting doctors time

Letting kids of secondary age stay home alone for a few hours. I'm always shocked that anyone doesn't think this is ok/good for them. Assuming no additional needs obviously.

Not splitting bills 50:50 if other half is earning less. I currently pay 100% of bills as DH is unemployed but before this, we split it based on what he earned each month as his hours varied. Took our joint earnings, worked out what % he'd contributed and told him how much he was paying towards the bills that month...it just makes sense. Was usually 60:40 or thereabouts.

But apparently that's a terrible idea here!

Old people smiling at babies
Opening my front door if the doorbell goes
My child's paternal grandmother
Teachers doing their job
Leaving my washing on my balcony at night
Homework
London
Going on holiday and actually treating yourself rather than paying thrupence ha'penny for a leaky tent
Buying Christmas presents
Talking about TV programmes AFTER they've been aired

Now I'm wiser and know I'll be screaming, shaking, ringing the police and acting like Mr Dursley nailing up the house should even one of those things happen across my path.

@Nyz9213

Orange squash. I gave my daughter some very dilute stuff when she was little and it was hot to encourage her to stay hydrated. You’d have thought I’d given her heroin.

You would have be fine if you had given her Cannabis. I learned on Mumsnet that "everyone" uses it.

Oh! I forgot men! Who live on the same road and say "good morning"

Filthy rotten pervs.

Front facing car seats for school aged children. And definitely Center Parcs and toilet brushes.