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Things you thought were normal/harmless until joining mumsnet

595 replies

Antsinyourpanta · 16/09/2021 09:41

(Lighthearted )
lots of things that I thought were quite normal /fine/harmless before I joined MM seem to be quite abhorrent to a large percentage of posters. I often find myself wondering about whether my perceived normal is actually the minority. Some examples

Home made food or cakes - I bloody love home made cakes and think they are always nicer than shop bought - my first thoughts when offered one is usually yum, a cake! I've never given a moments thought to whether the person owns cats or dogs or has a hygeine certificate.

Ensuite bathrooms - I've got an ensuite bathroom. It's used for any instance where you may need a toilet. Apparently this is very very wrong.

Eating carbs

Bayliss and Harding toiletries - I would not be offended by this as a gift unless it was from my husband

(I'm with you on Thorntons though - they are nasty)

Answering the door to someone - if I see ex criminals selling stuff door to door, I dont answer, otherwise I dont have a problem with answering the door, and i get on with all of my neighbours.

Speaking to and socialising with work colleagues - i speak to, socialise (outside of work) and am friends with most of my work colleagues. I'd count many of them as friends. We buy each other birthday cards and presents and sometimes bring in cakes. (See point 1)

What are the things you've been educated on since joining MN?

OP posts:
RandomUsernameHere · 16/09/2021 19:34

Everything in the OP

Loo brushes

Eating a whole pizza on my own

RunningStrong · 16/09/2021 19:36

Quite liking most men you meet/know.

nicecheesegromit · 16/09/2021 19:37

Having men as friends is frowned on!
No, it's just NOT possible to be JUST friends.
Women who have lots of men friends are a bit strange and must have some sort of insecurity issue that they always need lots of validation from male friends.
And they must secretly fancy each other

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

TarpaulinEyes · 16/09/2021 19:42

The Grammar Police. IRL people don't constantly search for and comment on perceived errors. I've only known one person who did, my ex boss, she was a cunt though.

Inthesameboatatmo · 16/09/2021 19:47

I have been educated in never leaving washing out to dry overnight because it will get spider willies all over it.

Sparklingbrook · 16/09/2021 19:50

@Inthesameboatatmo

I have been educated in never leaving washing out to dry overnight because it will get spider willies all over it.
I have never seen any spider willies so I don't understand all that. There might be actual spiders and cobwebs on it though, and that's not good. Sad
Jellykat · 16/09/2021 19:51

Pampas grass!!!

ivykaty44 · 16/09/2021 19:53

Pampas grass!!!

its changed to pineapples....

Inthesameboatatmo · 16/09/2021 19:55

@Sparklingbrooke.
Ooh yes cobwebs I'm not being sarcastic honestly I never actually thought of that .I will never leave it outside overnight again ShockGrin

Jellykat · 16/09/2021 20:02

Pineapples ?! ivykaty.. how can that work? it surely has to be visible from outside or how would anyone know? Grin

BippityBoppity87 · 16/09/2021 20:16

@ivykaty44

Pampas grass!!!

its changed to pineapples....

I could be wrong, but was there not a thread once about someone needing a pineapple as a centre piece for guests arriving? I can't remember why, or the reasoning behind it
Antsinyourpanta · 16/09/2021 20:21

When I came on MN I discovered that making friends issad. Every other MNetter was far too busy to speak to saddo mums outside the school, far too involved in a hobby to speak to fellow participants, and certainly not open to friendly overtures at work. “I have my friends already” donchaknow.*

I've noticed "school mums" mentioned as a homogenous group of people that the poster wouldnt want to be friends with ...but surely if their child is at the same school they are also a "school mum"...?

OP posts:
Graphista · 16/09/2021 20:30

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon I am amazed the nursery didn't have a chat with you about that. That would have been kinder than just mystifying dirty looks! My dds nursery would have done something like sent out a "snack guidance" newsletter to ALL parents under the guise of a "healthy eating policy" type deal.

I was fortunate that I was the eldest of 3 with a ton of cousins and been babysitting since I was 14 then I'd later been a nanny before I had dd, but not everyone has that experience of babies/little kids and/or has people around them that teach them this stuff. I even had childcare classes at school! Even in home ec classes we covered child nutrition and weaning. So much has been lost from the curriculum that's essential.

@moynomore I agree re secondary kids, but I've also been shocked at some leaving very young kids at home alone! I've seen threads where dc as young as 3 have been left alone! "Oh but I was only gone 10 mins" aye right! For one thing 10 mins is plenty of time for something awful to happen to a young child, for another people like this ime tend to massively underestimate how long they were away for - or they're plain lying! As by this point in the thread it's usually gone in the reasonable direction of "wtf were you thinking?!"

Generally speaking I find a lot of mn posters are utterly clueless when it comes to poverty and being on benefits in the Uk, not necessarily always in a benefit bashing way either but also sometimes in terms of thinking there's no help available for people or that you only get help if you're street homeless etc lots and lots of misconceptions especially around mental illness and claiming benefits/getting support.

I've never been invited to nor attended a child free wedding I would find that quite odd, I was raised that weddings were a family occasion and that included the kids. At my own wedding there was a load of kids they were the best guests there!! The kids were full of joy, the older ones kept the little ones busy and fetched bits and pieces for elderly guests, the other guests thoroughly enjoyed them even my new husbands brother who is not a "kid person" generally ended up playing hopscotch with a bunch at one point! Biggest smile I've ever seen on his face!

Never been to one with a free bar either! Size of my family the hosts would end up bankrupt!!

I haven't got the faintest idea what threadcount any of it is.

Me neither! I even darn my favourite ones if the pattern has been discontinued! Blush

A lot of these I'm best not commenting on or really thinking about because I have actual ocd so I know my thinking on certain things is massively disordered. I do sometimes find myself thinking certain posts indicate that person possibly has ocd that is undiagnosed.

I don't answer my door unless I'm expecting someone these days for a number of reasons - disability, the ocd, and I don't live in the...most pleasant of areas. I've had some trouble with dodgy callers and my new neighbour upstairs is an arse who gets too pissed to use his keys and then buzzes EVERYONE at 2/3/4am! I now turn my intercom off weekend nights because of him. Dick!

As an aside I'd love to know how long I've been on mn as I've lost track! Any way of checking this?

I think the thing that is strangest to me is posters my age and older (roughly) who seem to ONLY associate with people who share their very narrow beliefs and opinions and socio-economic status! I'm giving younger folk a wee bit of a pass here as you generally meet and get to know more people as you age/live life but at the age of almost 50 as I am I would expect people to have a variety of friends and acquaintances with different beliefs, opinions, backgrounds, Socio-economic status etc. Do people really limit their circles like this? I can believe/understand it happening in the past when folk didn't move around much and there wasn't as much migration generally but now?

Indeed again back to my wedding it was the ONE time everyone I loved was in the same place. I'm from a military family so it meant my relatives were chatting/dancing with people from all over Uk and beyond, we had at least 4 religions represented, some guests spoke very little English yet everyone seemed to muddle along and enjoy themselves.

Sparklingbrook · 16/09/2021 20:45

I don't want cobwebs on my high thread count Egyptian cotton. Grin

I didn't know much about thread counts until I slept in a hotel bed with the best bed linen, and wanted to go home and replicate it, and found if I was to do that it's all about the thread count and has to be plain white or cream.

Absolutely no chance of me having Christmas themed cotton/polyester mix now. Grin

Deadringer · 16/09/2021 20:57

I enjoy Halloween!

110APiccadilly · 16/09/2021 21:04

Stopping breastfeeding at around 12 months. Everyone who bfs past 6 months on MN seems to carry on well past 12 months.

Also, buying car seats without checking whether they meet extra (Swedish?) safety standards.

somewhereoverthechipshop · 16/09/2021 21:05

Having a few fireworks in your garden on bonfire night

Jellykat · 16/09/2021 21:43

Grin BippityBoppity i missed that one!

slashlover · 16/09/2021 21:52

@Deadringer

I enjoy Halloween!
I like fancy dress.
Blindleadingtheblind · 16/09/2021 21:57

Haven't read the full thread so apologies if this has been mentioned before, but I didn't realise that in some regional dialects "finger" and "singer" don't rhyme. MN is truly enlightening.

OhWhyNot · 16/09/2021 22:08

I never knew so many things were considered rude

And old people wanting to make a fuss of babies and little children. I always felt immensely proud when this happened to ds I thought it was lovely

I may now have offended someone by being ageist and obviously needy as need validation for my son from others

cricketmum84 · 16/09/2021 22:11

Oh yes I forgot about the hot tub pearl clutchers!

I bloody love my hot tub. Best purchase I ever made and it's literally the only thing in the world that relieves my 24/7 nerve pain.

And IT IS NOT A FETID SEX POND!!

Antsinyourpanta · 16/09/2021 22:40

And old people wanting to make a fuss of babies and little children. I always felt immensely proud when this happened to ds I thought it was lovely

I see that as quite nice/harmless. I remember taking my dad to a garden centre when he was very unwell and in the last few months of life. He was never one to be overly enthusiastic about things but we sat in the cafe and he really enjoyed seeing a little toddler playing at the next table. he didnt speak to the family or say anything to them but he just kept glancing over and smiling and then saying to me how lovely they were. I would have hated for that to come across as creepy or weird. It just made him happy.

OP posts:
DillonPanthersTexas · 16/09/2021 23:06

A group of married men having a catch up weekend of golf once a year is pretty much a guarantee of no golf, strip joints, spending 'family money' and infidelity.

Making a considered judgement call once armed with the facts should take second place to 'spidey senses'.

MurielSpriggs · 16/09/2021 23:15

@DillonPanthersTexas

A group of married men having a catch up weekend of golf once a year is pretty much a guarantee of no golf, strip joints, spending 'family money' and infidelity.

Making a considered judgement call once armed with the facts should take second place to 'spidey senses'.

And strangely, whenever consulted, "spidey senses" always come back with the result that he's definitely a cheating paedophile with a crystal meth habit!