If you were given £1000

[roarfeckingroarr]

Unexpectedly, what would you spend it on?

No family needs. It's just me and the baby and he has more than everything he could want. No debt aside mortgage that's easily affordable. No childcare and just back at work after maternity so not a holiday. I have savings.

My father gave me a thousand pounds in an envelope today because he thinks I've been incredibly strong since DH walked out on us a month ago and "I deserve a treat". I've genuinely no idea where to start... ideas please!

@roarfeckingroarr

So many great suggestions thank you!

DS is already in nursery the 3 days I work. I'm fortunate enough to be entirely financially secure - lucrative career, I own our home outright (he's walked away with nothing so I'm waiting for the "new" girlfriend to appear).

I refreshed all my underwear / lingerie last month and I just can't find clothes exciting at the moment, I think I'm a bit depressed tbh.

Thought you said you have a mortgage

I would think about some kind of physical/mental therapy whether massage or talking therapy of some kind (I noticed you said you were maybe depressed). You’ve been through a lot and as well as ‘things’ They may be good.
I had my first ever really proper, long all body massage when on holiday just before Covid - I was astonished at how it rejuvenated me physically and mentally. Vowed to do regularly and revisit the island - then Covid out laid to all of that !
Have fun op. Your dad sounds really lovely.

Put paid not ‘out laid’.

A short pre Christmas break

An incredible spa break with treatments galore.
And/or a package of 6/12 massages and facials so you can have ongoing enjoyment/destress/indulgence bought and paid for to be deployed over the next few months.
Teeth whitening is a good one.
Love the flower subscription as well.
New haircut/colour/style?
A series of lessons on a subject of interest
A piece of new jewellery
Are there any hobbies you’d like to take up that need equipment? If so invest in that as well.

Well done on being so strong after what must have been a very tough time

Stick it in my savings.

But maybe buy a super yummy supper first.

A few friends of mine, once their exes had moved out, wanted to get something that was totally “theirs”. So they got rid of the dining room table where they’d had a row/the bed they slept in/the sofa he farted in etc. Anything like that to reclaim your home?

I’d buy a comfy beautiful chair, the ones which are got a person and a half and just the right size for snuggling with a DC.

That's lovely! I'd book in for a message, teeth whitening and a facial

Work out a way to do something really meaningful with your df.
Perhaps a family portrait, or something you could link to your family to pass on as an heirloom.

New carpet

Or if you really need nothing, keep it to do good deeds for others.

Honestly...I know he said to treat yourself but unless you have ample savings already for emergencies then I would just put it aside and treat myself to peace of mind.

@roarfeckingroarr if yoga works for you, have you tried breathwork? An amazing tool for life and difficult times. I have a fantastic person in w London who does some zoom classes and has a book
Oh! Or a Wim Hof course! Breath and cold.
You sound so magnificently together given the circumstances- bravo

In your position, I would shamelessly spend it on treats for myself, a salon appointment, nails, new coat/shoes/bag, and a lovely piece of jewellery to celebrate getting through a rough time.

Break ups can really knock your confidence so don’t be afraid to spend it on ‘frivolous’ things if you can afford to do so

How about a Christmas experience for you, your dad and your baby? A new tradition you can continue in the future - a show, an outdoor light show etc?

[quote roarfeckingroarr]@ivegotthisyeah where are you in the uk? How far from London? If you can travel, I'm taking us both (plus the baby as no childcare) for a ridiculous lunch to celebrate being strong xx[/quote]
Don't make me cry again how lovely but I'm up bloody north! Hope you have a fabulous lunch though x

This: www.woolleygrangehotel.co.uk/special-offers/babys-first-stay-away
It’s great for pre-schoolers.

@TheHouseILiveIn sorry I meant I own it rather then shared with ex partner (was fiancé not husband, wedding cancelled due to COVID then rebooked, just habit), not I own it outright.

Would you like some professional photos of you, or DS, or DDad?

@ivegotthisyeah do you have dependent kids? If not, book a cheap advance train and come down, I'll take us for a stupid champagne lunch and we can remind each other how important female friendship is and how we do not need these men.

How lovely of your dad. My mum did similar for me and i always paid it to my mortgage. So mum gave me peace of mind. Priceless.
I know this is about what to buy for yourself op and theres loads of great suggestions. But can i suggest something you can hive your dad? Time, pure and simple. As you've lost your mum, you'll know how precious this is. Give your dad time with you and his grandson Arthur, who sounds a lively wee thing. I'm sure you do this already, I'm just reminding you. So easy to get tied up in the day to day and forget. I've lost both parents but i was told the importance of time early on and i was always aware of it.
Anyway ,am wishing you arthur and grandad all the best. You sound a lovely family. Your ex is a fool

Depending on where you live in the country, consider life membership to English Heritage or National Trust. Single membership usually allows an adult guest so you can take your dad on days out with you and the little one to some lovely places. And it will be and bring lifetime memories.

Might spend it on joining the David Lloyd or similar health club.
Put baby in the crèche there and use the swim & spa facilities every week. Outdoor pool. Tennis courts.

It would probably give me somewhere to go to as well if feeling like I wanted to be 'doing something', after a relationship coming to an end.

@findnonnaadress excellent idea, but I'm already a member of a gym with a pool 100m from my front door

[quote roarfeckingroarr]@TheHouseILiveIn sorry I meant I own it rather then shared with ex partner (was fiancé not husband, wedding cancelled due to COVID then rebooked, just habit), not I own it outright. [/quote]
I bet you are glad that you didn't worry! It must make everything so much clearer now.