What petty resentment are you holding on to years later?

[ClumpingBambooIsALie]

Mine is that I was put in for Foundation level GCSE Double Science despite having good grades on my coursework, only found out when I got into my exam and saw the Foundation paper in front of me, and was therefore capped at a CC. Twenty years ago 😂

What's yours?

Oh and in primary school, I was always slightly below average academically, never really got singled out as good at anything. We had a supply teacher one day and wrote poems about someone important to us. I wrote about my great uncle, and the supply teacher said mine was brilliant (singled out as brilliant, I was amazed). He said I should take it to show the head teacher after lunch, when our ‘normal’ teacher would be back.

Came back from lunch so excited, asked teacher if I could go to show my poem to the head now. Teacher said no, absolutely not, ‘Katie’ had already gone… Katie was the teacher’s pet, had written her poem about the head and come in early from lunch to tell our teacher that she had been chosen to go.

I’m so sad for ‘little girl me’ thinking about this. My one sodding chance to be ‘special’ and ‘Katie’ snatched it off me.

When I was 14, on the school skiing trip to Austria, I fell and hurt my knee. I returned to the cafe at the top of the mountain to get a hot chocolate and wait for everyone else and came across one of our teachers struggling for breath. She'd been a bit under the weather all week with flu or something but this was clearly much more serious.

There was no-one from our group around and I had to do something so I asked the manager - I spoke no German, she spoke a little English - for help and she put us in one of the cable cars back down the mountain and called an ambulance to meet us.

At this point, I was assuming that someone was also finding a grown-up, but that assumption was wrong.

At the bottom of the mountain, there was an ambulance waiting (paramedics only spoke German and I was by now revisiting my language choices for GCSE). There was also our lovely coach driver. He went up the mountain to find some of the staff and planned to bring them to the hospital. I went in the ambulance with - let's call her Miss Smith.

Austrian paramedics drive like maniacs. At least they did in the mid-80s, maybe they've improved. It was quite terrifying. The first hospital we arrived at - the one they'd told the coach driver we'd be at - sent us to another one so another white-knuckle drive along mountain roads.

Miss Smith was rushed in, given oxygen etc and it turned out she had pneumonia. Inasmuch as I could understand them, people were telling me that I'd done the right thing, so that was a relief.

There were no mobile phones back then and I had little idea where we were or how to contact anyone. In retrospect, I could have called my mum in the UK, assuming I could find a phone and work out how to make an international call. Instead, I decided to wait it out for a bit and hope someone turned up.

Eventually, after a couple of hours or so touring the hospitals of the area, lovely coach driver and (German-speaking) head of games arrived. She talked to doctors while the driver and I went to a cafe, and then we all went back to the hotel.

Apparently, Miss Smith had been very ill and it was good that I'd acted so promptly to get help. She was in hospital there for two weeks before being well enough to return to the UK and was off school for several weeks when term started.

But you know what, and this is the petty resentment I've been holding onto since 1984, she never once thanked me for looking after her. Not a word. I wasn't expecting anything major, and I didn't really have any choice in doing what I did, but you know, a simple 'Thanks Burning, you did well' would have been nice.

Sorry, that was a bit long but really quite cathartic. Thanks if you stuck it out to the end. I feel much better now. x

Sorry - just seen how long my post was! Apologies for the wall of text.

So many from my school days to be honest. The one I remember most was being shouted at and sent out of class for not doing my homework when I was about 13 or 14. It was to interview your parents about your birth and the emotions they felt etc. I was adopted and so couldn't do this. It hurt me so much at the time, I cried and tried yo explain but was told off for lying. It was an RE lesson and the teacher was a Reverend so you'd think he may have been a bit more thoughtful. I was embarrassed and hurt for days, as well as teased about it for weeks afterwards by other children. If he was still alive I'd have wanted to meet with him and ask him if he regretted it, sadly he probably wouldn't have remembered and it probably had no impact on him at all.

Year 5 of primary school, so 1996. Playing Tig in the playground, I was 'it' and catching up with a girl. Before I could tap her and say 'tig' she turned round and punched me in the stomach. I told the teacher, but the girl said she did it because i was chasing her (whole bloody point of the game) teacher made ME apologise because i "started it".

A couple of months before my 50th birthday I told DD that I would love a party or special but only if I didn’t have to do all the organising myself.

DH asked her if she thought I wanted a party and she said not.

I was the youngest of 3 sisters and we had 3 female 1st cousins of similar ages, so the 6 of us spent a fair bit of time together growing up. Unfortunately I was a little on the podgy side, though not massively.

We were all at a family get together when our maternal grandmother arrived with 5 beautiful skirts. We were all excited to try them on until I realised there wasn’t one for me. My grandmother then said it was because she knew I was an awkward size so didn’t think one would fit me.

This happened 50 years ago and I still want to cry when I think about it.

Years ago in woodwork class we had to make a mini dressing table. Mine was beautiful, I went to specialist shop and had a tiny mirror made and added all sorts of little bits to it. The whole class had to do it and the best one won a prize. Well I was really ill on the day so they were judged so off sick and I’m still convinced I should have one.

Last year of primary school in a very small village school - max 30 pupils. Each year we did a nativity play/performance in the connected church and, due to a naturally clear and carrying voice, I was nearly always The Narrator. One girl Caroline, who was really popular as she had ponies (as well as lovely blond hair) was grumbling how "Blobby is always the Narrator" and 10 year old me mumbles "I'm not bothered about being it " to which she pipes up "Miss, Blobby says she doesn't want to be Narrator this time" . Teacher "Is that right dear?" to which me, almost in tears at being forced into this position mumbled "Yes Miss" as I was actually really proud of being good at something! Was eventually awarded the position of back row angel with no speaking role. Looking back, Caroline was always a bit of a cow to me even at 9 years old but because she had ponies and would let her 'friends' ride them, I worshipped her and was determined to be one of those friends!

@averylongtimeago

My parents divorced when I was little (mid 60's). F married again and I have a half brother who is a few years younger than me. I used to spend some time at Christmas with them, but one year was there for Christmas Day. My brother got some great toys, I was particularly envious of the head torch and some gadgets. I got a bottle of clearacil and a green glass jar of cotton wool balls. I was 13 and have never forgotten the disappointment.

Ouch. Clearasil? That's mean.

I resent to this day my childhood best friends mother, who always seemed to disapprove of me and the friendship. As a child I was confused by it and didn't know what I was doing wrong. As an adult its clear what the reasons were :

She didn't like my parents (class based stuff/snobbery)
I had a disability

and so actually nothing I had ever done to her or her child, I simply wasn't "up to scratch"

Bitch.

When I was 9 I was with my friend Jane and we were playing on the mountain by our home waiting for a third friend Alan to finish his dinner. I don't know where she got it from to this day but she started playing with a lighter and set fire to this little clump of dry grass, in seconds the side of the mountain went up in flames. I tried stamping the fire out before it went nuts but Jane was pulling my arm and telling me to stop because it wasn't a big deal and would die out on its own. I ran to the nearest neighbours house and called the fire brigade who came out sharpish but the mountain was already burned. The firefighters did prevent further spread but it was still horrible. I'll never forget trying to stamp on the fire only to see my pal Alan valiantly peeing on it right next to me, we laughed about that eventually. I went to school on Monday and was called to the headmasters office, I really liked him and he was a decent bloke but the look of disappointment on his face when he asked me if I had started the fire will live with me forever. The fucking kids down the street had seen me waving down the firemen and assumed that I had started the bloody fire

I try to let things go. As per Wildhearts
The one I cannot let go is when my mother found and read my diary. I have kept a diary since I was around 11 and recorded every thought I had because I was an unpopular girl with no friends thanks to my mother's social isolation. Anyway when I was about 17 she found a volume from a few years earlier. She read it, then told my dad who also read it. He was waiting for me when I got home from school, kicked me up the stairs, and hit me over and over while I lay on my bed in a ball, crying. My crime for writing dirty and disgusting things about men.
He tried to apologise later that night, but I have never forgiven him. The humiliation sears through me to this day. How could she.

@torquewench

My sibling went to a private school and was encouraged to join in all sports and other activities/trips and then go to university, whilst I had to make do with the local comp which did zero extra curricular stuff in the 5 years I was there and gave "maybe you could be a hairdressser" as the sum total of career "advice" (not saying hairdressing's not a worthwhile career, my stylist is fantastic and I know I don't have the talent or personality for it). It was one of those green/white computerised printouts, not even a chat with anyone about career advice. Sibling now a high flyer with an interesting career. I'm doing OK but am equally as intelligent as them but was never afforded the oportunities the old school tie network gave them. It's been a lot harder for me to get where I am. Also, thinking about it, I never even got given any dinner money, whilst my parents spent thousands on one child's education. I don't really have any relationship with my sibling and get the impression that they view our parents and me as an embarrassment as we are all very much working class, whilst they're living it up in First Class.

As an aside, it probably doesn't take a genius to work out which sex my sibling is (I'm female).

That isn't a petty resentment.

@CalamityGladys

40 years ago I was in the army - came top off my course - didn’t get the shield - as was told I was only attached to the regiment and it always went to a man.

You should ask for it now...

15 years old babysitting for a family I babysat for regularly in their large home. Asked if my steady bf could come over to watch a film when the kids were asleep. Told no as they had a big house full of expensive things and couldn't have just anyone in the house. My BF was the son of a high court judge and lived in a home 3 times the size of theirs, they were such snobs I wish I'd told them!

When I was about 10 my brother and I met Barbara Windsor. We asked for her autograph and the bitch said no. Hated her ever since. I didn't shed any tears when she died.

I worked in HR for a big company and we unfortunately had to let go a lady (who I got on really well with) as she had stolen from the company (nothing big or valuable but no doubt she did it and admitted it). I wasn't involved in the final meeting with her, as I was involved in doing something with another colleague. She was dismissed and left immediately. Later on, I was removed from her Facebook page; no problem, maybe she didn't want reminders of work. However, through the grapevine it got back to me that she said that when she walked out of the building I had been standing at the window pointing and laughing! I bloody hadn't done anything of the sort and never would. I'd been nowhere near the window and hadn't even seen her depart. She also said I had told other colleagues it was her own fault -I didn't do this either! Still pisses me off years on. That's not something I would ever do to anyone.

My DF died whilst I completed a degree course that made him very proud of me, my mother suggested a lovely spa weekend to celebrate when I completed degree.

However, she took my stepsister abroad instead and the spa weekend never happened.

It was years ago, but I can't let it go. It hurt so much and taught me many things about my mother.

@Mischance

When I was 5, I was chosen to be Mary in the school nativity play - I was thrilled to bits. I then went off sick for a few weeks (I had hepatitis) and was mortified and terribly upset when I returned to school and found some other girl had been given the part. I was robbed! I will not tell you how many years ago this was!

I hear your pain. I was chosen to be Mary too, but it wasn’t me who got sick, some bug rampaged through the school and decimated the cast. I was fine , but they cancelled the Nativity and for some reason didn’t think it appropriate to reinstate it after the Christmas holidays.

I still think I could have carried it off with a reduced supporting cast , or even as a solo performance. I was a very good reader and could have done all the reading bits as well as looking ethereal and pure.

Friend’s birthday party aged 6. The game was sleeping lions. I was doing brilliantly and looked set to win, against all expectations (fidgety child). To speed things up, birthday girl’s Dad started tickling the remaining 3 children. I am very ticklish. I did not win the prize. The injustice of it haunts me.

Age 7. Teacher telling us all off for ‘poor effort on hwk’ and said she had thrown some in the bin. Mine was in there.. I wept inconsolably at the shame (of course, I was the kind to always spend hours on hwk). In the end they sent me home, I was hiccup-sobbing so ferociously.
Teacher met me in reception and asked if it was bc of the bin-thing.
I was so angry I couldn’t reply, just stood weeping.
Teacher concluded I must be ill instead and went on her merry way..
Sometimes I still fantasise about what I would respond to her with

@AlexDrake1981 thank you. You're right tbh it was really inappropriate!

My mother spent the whole of my "keep" money on my princess sisters new school uniform, whereas my uniform skirts came from a second hand market! I would have looked like a tramp if my grandma had not stepped in. I made do with plain white socks (same as the other kids). Oh no, golden child had to have school socks with little lacy frills around the top, the kind kids usually wore for parties then. I was just of 16, working in my first job, and every pound i| gave to my mother for my board went straight onto my sisters back. I resented that more than I could say.

One day I got my revenge. I came in unexpectedly early to find all the washing ready in soak for next day. The whites (including all my sisters fancy socks) were in one bucket and the colourds in another. I took a dark red garment and hid it at the bottom of the "white" bucket. Then I slipped out again unseen. When I came back, hours later, all the whites (including my dad's underpants and my sisters fancy socks) had gone pale pink! For once I was not blamed for something that went wrong in the family as I had been "out all day" so they believed. For 2 weeks (until I got paid again) my sister had to go to school in pale ink socks and how she got laughed at. That was my revenge.

The new socks which replaced them were plain school socks - much to her dsgust.

@DeeDimer that is so shit!!

You have reminded me of the day in y10 so age 15 or so that the cross country team went to compete, and it just so happened to co incide with the year groups' annual cross country for just the school. I usually was shit at sports but for some reason I ended up in the lead by accident, most of the girls were chatting and walking while being chivvied but me being a bullying target I kept jogging patiently along to keep away from them. I was in my own little world enjoying the peace and quiet.

The PE teacher's face when I came round the corner to the finish line was a picture. They thought I had cheated and I didn't even get a well done never mind a prize.

Absolute bastards!