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Original poster

18yo DS2 is earning £20k pa

80 replies

LegendaryReady · 09/09/2021 19:28

And I'm worried 😆

Maybe in other lives it's not a lot, but it seems too much for a young lad with hardly any expenses to fritter to me. He's just starting the third year of a four year apprenticeship and there's a substantial rise each year.

He does pay me some keep, enough to cover his food and make a contribution to bills. To take more would be unreasonable I think?

He's always been a spender. Amazon parcels arrive every day and I dread to think think what he's spending on gaming. I don't see his bank account, but I doubt there's any savings.

I worry that he'll get used to unlimited spending money and the real world will come as a nasty shock, but other than tell him (and what 18yo would listen) what can I do?

I am pleased for him, obviously, but also worried that by choosing this route, whilst the money is good at 18, it won't support the lifestyle he thinks it will later.

OP posts:
SamMil · 09/09/2021 19:31

Could you encourage him to start a savings account, then work together to look at an amount that he could put aside into savings each month? If he set up an auto-payment the day after payday, he shouldn't miss it too much and it'll help get him started when he moves out, and also set him up to get in the habit of saving as well as managing on less disposable income.

Obviouspretzel · 09/09/2021 19:32

What a weird thread. Just charge him more board then. Would you rather him earn less?

Redwinestillfine · 09/09/2021 19:32

Good for him. Teach him how to budget and get him thinking about something to save for ( travelling/ car/ deposit for his own place) as motivation.

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Dragonpox · 09/09/2021 19:33

Increase the keep but put it aside for him in a savings account. Don't tell him you're doing it.

hellcatspangle · 09/09/2021 19:34

I'd increase his rent and put it away in a savings account for when he wants a house (but not tell him). The suggested amount is a third of take home pay - to reflect what you'd be likely to spend on rent/mortgage when you leave home.

LawnFever · 09/09/2021 19:39

Teach him to budget, suggest he opens a savings account that a set amount goes into every time he gets paid.

Lots of people have mortgages, full financial responsibilities on that salary, it’s nice he can enjoy the money for a bit but I’d try and get him to see the bigger picture - would he like a car, or his own flat/house in the future? If you can get him to picture those things you’ll be more likely to get him on board with the idea.

Or - up his board & put some of it in savings for him yourself?

GoGadgetGo · 09/09/2021 19:41

20K at 18 well done him. I know much older adults that are still not on that and coming to retire. Let him enjoy it. Life is for living.

LawnFever · 09/09/2021 19:42

@Obviouspretzel

What a weird thread. Just charge him more board then. Would you rather him earn less?
What a weird reaction, it’s very worthwhile to teach young people financial literacy and not to fritter away their money.

I wish someone had done the same for me!

MovingSchmoving · 09/09/2021 19:48

I’ve never had as much disposable income as I did between 17-19 years old (when I got my own place with my boyfriend). I had a part time job but because my parents didn’t charge me any board, I had between 250-500 a month to spend on literally whatever I wanted (in the holidays I had loads as I’d take any shifts going spare). Spent it mainly on clothes and at the pub. Had a cracking time. I’d let him get on with it but make sure you are charging market value rent and board. And if he’s eating you out of house and home like a lot of 18 yo boys do then make sure he is paying for it (my DNephew lives at home and is 20 and I once watched him cook an entire packet of high quality bacon and an entire box of eggs for his breakfast 😮 and my sister doesn’t charge him anything for food despite him having a full time job).

Frenchfancy · 09/09/2021 19:48

Another one saying more board. Why do you think it would be unreasonable? How much would he have to pay if he moved out into a room in a shared house? Adults earning a reasonable wage should contribute to more than just their food.

MrsDThomas · 09/09/2021 19:51

My dd loved her amazon parcels when she got her student loan. Soon stopped,

One thing I strongly advise is a private pension. Its a must

Original poster
LegendaryReady · 09/09/2021 19:52

@Frenchfancy

Another one saying more board. Why do you think it would be unreasonable? How much would he have to pay if he moved out into a room in a shared house? Adults earning a reasonable wage should contribute to more than just their food.
Because it would be more than it costs for him to live here. I'm all for DC paying their way but to make a profit doesn't seem right?

He is paying more than his food

OP posts:
Original poster
LegendaryReady · 09/09/2021 19:53

@MrsDThomas

My dd loved her amazon parcels when she got her student loan. Soon stopped,

One thing I strongly advise is a private pension. Its a must

He's paying the maximum on offer into his occupational scheme, you'd do a private one too?
OP posts:
MrsWooster · 09/09/2021 19:54

Charging him ‘board’, which you secretly keep as a deposit, will help him learn fiscal sense. I wish my dad had done this for me.

RubyFowler · 09/09/2021 19:56

Even if you don't need it, you could charge the going rate for a room in a shared house. You can put it away for him?

Original poster
LegendaryReady · 09/09/2021 19:57

I do save both of DC's contribution in a separate pot. I'm undecided as to whether they will get it back Grin

I'm not sure that me saving and giving him a windfall in the future teaches him anything though.

OP posts:
mercimacherie · 09/09/2021 19:58

You haven't said how much board he pays now but I'd ask for £3-400 pm and save some for him. If he hasn't already and wants to he should learn to drive and start saving towards a car.

If he started saving £500 pm now in a few years he'd have a house deposit (depending where in the country you are.

User875906 · 09/09/2021 20:01

Is he interested in learning to drive, it would be good to do this while he is quite flush.

CassandraTrotter · 09/09/2021 20:02

Can he speak to a financial advisor about investing, pensions and savings? And let him enjoy the rest.

SevenOldLadies · 09/09/2021 20:03

Get him to look into a Lifetime ISA if he wants to buy a property at some point (and will be a first time buyer). With limited expenses he could probably pay the maximum in each year, so get the maximum bonus.

I think encouraging him to save in some way would be good. I don’t like charging rent to give it back, really, as I think it’s a bit of a fake lesson. If he’s giving you enough to cover his costs that’s plenty.

Floralnomad · 09/09/2021 20:04

@MrsWooster

Charging him ‘board’, which you secretly keep as a deposit, will help him learn fiscal sense. I wish my dad had done this for me.
This doesn’t teach him anything , other than my mum / dad gave me a sum of money . He needs to learn to save for himself or what happens when he moves out and the saving fairy doesn’t turn up in x amount of years !
Silkiescatz · 09/09/2021 20:05

If he won't need the cash for say 5 years or so maybe a stocks and shares isa with someone like Vanguard - it will go up and down and capital is at risk but rising a lot more than cash in bank atm.

Pension is another idea but ties the money up until retirement and may well need it before then. Or a LISA might be worth looking into for up to £4k a year, govt adds 25% up to £1k a year - its for first home.

TorySteller · 09/09/2021 20:07

If he saved £300 a month, he’d have over £10k in savings by 21. Maybe if you explain it to him in that way, it’ll encourage him to save more, especially if he wants a car or a flat.

Maybe also sit down with him and show him your own bills/mortgage/rent/car costs to really hit home how much this stuff costs. It’s great that he’s got lots of disposable income, but I know I frittered my £19k salary away at that age and I wish wish WISH someone had told me to put away £200-300 a month instead.

Having savings is so important. You could even encourage him to look into a S&S ISA once he’s built up a good ‘safety cushion’ of savings.

Frazzled2207 · 09/09/2021 20:10

Def encourage driving lessons. That will be a useful amount of money and in the future if he had his own place he wouldn’t be able to afford it.

CornishTiger · 09/09/2021 20:12

And life insurance now!