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Original poster

18yo DS2 is earning £20k pa

80 replies

LegendaryReady · 09/09/2021 19:28

And I'm worried 😆

Maybe in other lives it's not a lot, but it seems too much for a young lad with hardly any expenses to fritter to me. He's just starting the third year of a four year apprenticeship and there's a substantial rise each year.

He does pay me some keep, enough to cover his food and make a contribution to bills. To take more would be unreasonable I think?

He's always been a spender. Amazon parcels arrive every day and I dread to think think what he's spending on gaming. I don't see his bank account, but I doubt there's any savings.

I worry that he'll get used to unlimited spending money and the real world will come as a nasty shock, but other than tell him (and what 18yo would listen) what can I do?

I am pleased for him, obviously, but also worried that by choosing this route, whilst the money is good at 18, it won't support the lifestyle he thinks it will later.

OP posts:

Dashel · 09/09/2021 21:20

@LegendaryReady

This is what worries me it's a huge amount of pocket money but nowhere near enough to live on here.

It might be that he decides to leave the SE, finds someone to buy with who also has a large deposit or gets a win on the premium bonds, who knows but things change and if he had a large deposit, then it can only help.

In 5 years time he won’t remember what all the Amazon purchases were for, they will have been long forgotten but the savings will be of real use.

I found some old credit card statements just after my lightbulb moment and it made me feel ill, looking at all those little spends of £29.99 here and £9.99 there but the overall bill was £2000 on junk. I added up my CD collection and it was vast in comparison to the music magpie value of £4.50.

Iwonder08 · 09/09/2021 21:20

You should have started financial education when he was 8, not 18. I think now he will only learn from his own experience and mistakes

Original poster

LegendaryReady · 09/09/2021 21:25

@Iwonder08

You should have started financial education when he was 8, not 18. I think now he will only learn from his own experience and mistakes

Oh dear. If only it was that straight forward. He's been "educated", getting him to actually do it is different.

I have two sons, the other one has thousands tucked away from a similarly paid job. He spends a bit on going out but never buys "stuff" at all.

They're very different

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Sittingonabench · 09/09/2021 21:47

Use the 70:30:20 rule as a basis
70% on essentials - rent, bills, driving lessons, etc.
30% fun money
20% savings
In reality his essentials won’t be 70% of his wage so I would suggest to him that the excess be split 50:50 between fun money and the rest put into a LISA - (essentially saving for a deposit on a house as a first time buyer)
Also make sure he is enrolled in his work place pension scheme.
The above can only be a discussion with him as it is his money but assuming your not charging standard board I think saying that rather than up it he gets to keep it in a LISA is a good deal for him. It also gives him a structure of what to expect when he gets into the real world.

itstrue · 09/09/2021 21:48

I think you are right to be worried. Plenty of people get used to being able to spend like this and once they get more financial commitments they still keep spending like that and end up in large amounts of debt.

I'd be encouraging saving up for large item.

Kezzie200 · 09/09/2021 21:52

Yes, my sons also earning a lot after completing an apprenticeship. He's 23 and has rent to pay snd his car. But he saves a lot as he's looking to buy at some point.

He certainly should be paying keep, even if you hold onto it as savings for him.

Graphista · 09/09/2021 21:59

Encourage him to save but perhaps start with a short term goal that would entice him to do so like a car or a holiday ?

L0bstersLass · 09/09/2021 23:51

@LegendaryReady The cheapest 1 bed flats here are £200k and in the SE that's not even expensive, almost double that in the next (posher) town. You can see why home ownership seems like an impossible dream not worth saving for. If he saved a £20k or even £50k deposit, he still couldn't raise the mortgage

I totally disagree. It's not inconceivable that his salary will increase and that he'd be buying a property with a partner. Both of them with salaries of £25k or £30k could get a mortgage but the deposit will be key.
This is the best time for him to be pilling money into saving for a deposit.

Kiduknot · 09/09/2021 23:55

Just increase the rent. Save the increase for him, only to be given on a house purchase or perhaps a car. And only if they contribute a similar amount that they “save”.

ISpyCobraKai · 09/09/2021 23:58

Excellent, he can afford to rent himself a flat then can't he?

MouseholeCat · 10/09/2021 01:33

Definitely get him learning to budget and save. He's young and when he does eventually move out it'll be a shock to go from having that amount of disposable income and relatively few responsibilities to rent, council tax, bills etc. He could get a huge head start on saving for a house, he'll regret it later on.

Driftingblue · 10/09/2021 01:58

He needs to be paying rent to you or if you aren’t comfortable calling it that, you need to require heavy saving as a condition of still living at home. It may seem like a dream but he does need to be saving for a home and his retirement. He needs to start now.

It varies by career, but in general, university careers earn more in a lifetime than non-university careers. The caveat is that someone in an apprentice program can start earning much earlier. If that person saves and takes advantage of compounding interest, that early start can have a huge impact.

WalkingFred · 10/09/2021 04:10

Standrewsschool · 10/09/2021 06:32

He’s 18 and has just started earning. Let him enjoy himself and if he wants to squander money, let him.

However, a serious grown-up conversation about savings etc wouldn’t go amiss. I’ve had a recent discussion with my 19 year old. Until you talk to them about money, they don’t really understand it. My dc said he doesn’t know how to go about getting a savings account or credit card. We assume they know, but it’s all new to them.

So I would let him enjoy having this money. But also talk to him about money management.

MistySkiesAfterRain · 10/09/2021 06:44

If hes got a pension then defo look at the Lifetime ISA. The government puts in 25% extra on top of what you save provided you use it for a house deposit. You could open a Stocks and Shares LISA.

Enko · 10/09/2021 07:39

10% of your paycheck where does it go? (In the bank)

Hillary17 · 10/09/2021 08:31

He’s young. Let him have some fun with it and figure out his life. If he’s paying his way, and a fair amount, don’t be jealous of the fact he’s got more disposable income.

ironorchids · 10/09/2021 08:35

Give him a time limit for how long he'll be able to stay renting at your house - say one year, and also notice of rent increases that will happen over that time.

Raise the rent every quarter until you're charging him market rates.

converseandjeans · 10/09/2021 08:47

I agree with everyone else. Charge him more & put into savings for him. Then when he starts thinking about a place of his own he may suddenly have £10k or something.

ShingleBeach · 10/09/2021 08:54

Would he be interested in the (tiny) possibility of a big win by saving into Premium Bonds? If he set up a regular payment the day after payday to buy bonds, check the prize app every month…

Blossomtoes · 10/09/2021 09:03

@Hillary17

He’s young. Let him have some fun with it and figure out his life. If he’s paying his way, and a fair amount, don’t be jealous of the fact he’s got more disposable income.

This. He’ll learn the reality of life all too soon. Let him get on with it.

SeasonFinale · 10/09/2021 09:09

You taking more board and saving it for him doesn't necessarily need to teach him anything bit it will cut down on the amount of stuff he buys on Amazon. Also he will see he has less to spend so may indeed cut back anyway.

The fact is if he is already earning £20k as an apprentice one can only assume he has the potential to earn a lot more when qualified so a house purchase may well be on the cards.

Perhaps if driving lessons aren't on the cards at the moment suggest he starts a separate car savings account to fund them and a new car and insurance in the future.

If he is in an employee pension scheme he can make top up payments and payments in at this age rather than later go a long way!

fuzzymoomin · 10/09/2021 09:28

He's only 18? I'd give him some financial advice/suggestions but otherwise let him get on with it. He's paying the board you asked him for and there will be the rest of his life to have more financial restrictions, let him enjoy being a bit frivolous while he's doing his apprenticeship.

TaraR2020 · 10/09/2021 13:31

@fuzzymoomin

Actually this made me think I'd get him an apt with a financial advisor who can set out a long term savings/investment plan. If he starts building wealth now he'll be really set for life and it may be the inspiration he needs to take control of his finances!

PeonyTime · 10/09/2021 13:51

@Sittingonabench

Use the 70:30:20 rule as a basis 70% on essentials - rent, bills, driving lessons, etc. 30% fun money 20% savings In reality his essentials won’t be 70% of his wage so I would suggest to him that the excess be split 50:50 between fun money and the rest put into a LISA - (essentially saving for a deposit on a house as a first time buyer) Also make sure he is enrolled in his work place pension scheme. The above can only be a discussion with him as it is his money but assuming your not charging standard board I think saying that rather than up it he gets to keep it in a LISA is a good deal for him. It also gives him a structure of what to expect when he gets into the real world.

Please dont use these numbers. You cant assign 120% of income without getting in a mess.

Encouraging him to look at how much he it would cost to rent somewhere, and try and save that would be a great starting point (looking at BiL who claims, aged 40, he cant afford to move out from his parents because he spends all his money on computer stuff and eating out).

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