Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

ADHD diagnosed as an adult. How do you cope?

93 replies

FanGirlFoof · 06/09/2021 10:48

Has anyone else been diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, if so, how do you cope? Medication, therapy, self management?

When I look back on my life, it makes perfect sense.

OP posts:
BoarOnTheFloor · 07/09/2021 18:50

Thanks Clumping that’s reassuring.

StuntNun · 07/09/2021 18:51

@FanGirlFoof be careful with the Sudafed; my DH got addicted to it.

NinjaExodus · 07/09/2021 18:53

@GreenBiro

My DH has it.

Diagnosed 5 years ago aged 35 by a private ed psych

Unmedicated, awaiting referral

It’s VERY tough. I do a lot of support/organising/cajoling/covering for him.

We try to have a regular sleep schedule but he resists it.

There have been violent outbursts. This terrifies me.

Along with depression and dyslexia it can be really difficult.

In a nutshell it a lack of reliability. Tough for all around you.

I have ADHD and am extremely reliable.

How rude.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

NinjaExodus · 07/09/2021 18:56

@BoarOnTheFloor

Those who have been diagnosed, do you know how much store was set by school reports or parent questionnaire? I was quite attentive until the later years of school and I’ve tried to hide a lot of my traits from my parents so they probably think I’m fine.
I'm estranged from my family so had no accounts from then, no school reports, nothing. They had to diagnose on the basis of my self-reported childhood symptoms.
severelysound · 07/09/2021 18:56

It's the outbursts that upset me - I upset and alienate people. Would the medication help with that?

In my experience yes, absolutely. That's probably the biggest benefit I've found to me being medicated. I'm not a slave to my emotions anymore and can actually think using my brain and not just some weird cocktail of gut instinct, emotions, and mood.

Which is how I go through life unmedicated.

There are positives and negatives to this, though.

Am I glad I'm not the sort of person who walks out of a job with no savings and no plan because it feels like the right thing to do? Sure.

But there are times when I miss being so impulsive. It was what made me, me, for a long time.

They're not a 'cure' but they definitely help. I can do things instantly that I would have procrastinated over for weeks before. I really enjoy things that are boring and repetitive now, like spreadsheets and laundry and cleaning.

But on the other side, I'm used to having a brain that thinks in Zs and Ms and basically fires like a pinball machine, whereas on meds I think much straighter. Calmer. Slower. So I'm a whizz at thoughtless boring repetitive stuff, but I'm shite at anything creative or that requires thinking outside the box.

Hopefully that makes sense and is somewhat relatable. Smile

severelysound · 07/09/2021 19:09

Also... I'd be wary of self-medicating with anything because it's one of the contraindications for being put medication.

Definitely use coffee / caffeine (which probably has the opposite effect on you i.e it keeps people awake at night but relaxes you enough to sleep) and I guess nicotine gums / a vape if that's your thing already.

I used to take 200mg caffeine + 400mg L-Theanine before I was medicated and that worked quite well against the worst procrastination symptoms if I had a day where I needed to get shit done.

But Sudafed will be a red flag for any future shared-care agreements. I used to work in a pharmacy and there were procedures in place to attempt to make sure people weren't abusing it.

If you're in England you can use 'Right To Choose' to go private and get a diagnosis + medication paid for by the NHS.

Also if you have a diagnosis already, I've heard Access To Work can pay for ADHD coaching (I've just attempted to start this process now so can update with what it's like).

MistyMorns · 07/09/2021 20:08

@GreenBiro

My DH has it.

Diagnosed 5 years ago aged 35 by a private ed psych

Unmedicated, awaiting referral

It’s VERY tough. I do a lot of support/organising/cajoling/covering for him.

We try to have a regular sleep schedule but he resists it.

There have been violent outbursts. This terrifies me.

Along with depression and dyslexia it can be really difficult.

In a nutshell it a lack of reliability. Tough for all around you.

Again. An educational psychologist does not, and cannot, diagnose ADHD. Whether they are private or otherwise.
Fromage · 08/09/2021 22:41

Could anyone tell me how to get a diagnosis please?

Do I have to see a GP as a first step?

Wombat96 · 08/09/2021 22:57

@Fromage

Could anyone tell me how to get a diagnosis please?

Do I have to see a GP as a first step?

Yep. GP for a referral.

Before I went, I had a chat to the fab ladies who run the support group in Liverpool. It was really helpful.

Justilou1 · 10/09/2021 11:40

I was referred to a psychiatrist by my GP. My psychiatrist diagnosed me.

Fromage · 10/09/2021 11:54

Thanks Wombat96 and Justilou1

A few people on this thread said "an ed psych can't diagnose" but didn't say who could. I don't live in Liverpool and my GP doesn't fill me with confidence ("I believe in really breathing" - no shit, Sherlock) but I might look for a group local to me and also find a better GP!

Thanks again. Smile

ClumpingBambooIsALie · 10/09/2021 12:01

I mean, it's good that your GP recognises the importance of breathing to remaining alive, but that's kind of a bare minimum?

Justilou1 · 10/09/2021 12:39

No problems @Fromage… you asked a direct question. Didn’t seem too much of a stretch to give you a direct answer. Good luck with your diagnosis. I imagine going privately might be the way to expediate the process if you can afford this. I’m in Aus, but I know it’s hard in both places to get a diagnosis via public services as it takes soooooo long.

ZealAndArdour · 10/09/2021 21:33

You need a diagnosis from a psychiatrist.

Either through the NHS and a referral from your GP to a specialist Adult ADHD service.

Or you can go privately.

The ADHD centre is £695 for the initial assessment. £215 thereafter for monthly meds review appointments until you’re stabilised on a certain medication and then some GP’s will take over prescribing and monitoring under a shared care agreement (but it’s not a given) and the GP will not do any dose adjustments or meds changes. You would need to see the specialist again for that. Also need to factor in the cost of paying the pharmacy for your private prescription. I’ve heard supermarket pharmacies are the cheapest.

I believe psychiatry UK is £310 for the assessment but potential longer waits as they can now take NHS referrals through Right to Choose. Not sure about the cost implications of meds through them.

greencats · 25/09/2021 00:34

@bookishtartlet

How did you all get your diagnosis? I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder last year, but adhd makes a lot of sense to many of my behaviours. I don't feel like I can attempt to get a gp appointment then just say I think I have adhd, I'd feel like I'm wasting their time? My marriage broke down in part to me inability to handle stress in a healthy way and I'm keen not to continue this for the rest of my life. CMHT keep discharging me after they put me on anti psychotic meds, then when I called again they put me on a webinar course for CBT. I'm still struggling, hugely.
This is exactly what has happened to me, word for word!
Phlaps · 25/09/2021 09:26

I've got so frustrated with waiting and combined with being backed into a corner with work/ life issues that I've started taking modafinil again. If someone else told me that they were doing this I'd be utterly horrified. I feel that I don't have many other options at the moment.

Thing is, it's working (well) although with some side effects. What a shitshow the official provision for this is.

Phlaps · 25/09/2021 09:28

@FanGirlFoof a big thing for me was stopping the self medication with alcohol, as that was simply an escape (stating the obvious!)

HereticFanjo · 25/09/2021 09:43

Reading with interest.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread