ADHD diagnosed as an adult. How do you cope?

[FanGirlFoof]

Has anyone else been diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, if so, how do you cope? Medication, therapy, self management?

When I look back on my life, it makes perfect sense.

@GreenBiro I’m sorry but his violent outbursts are nothing to do with his ADHD, do not let him convince you it is.

I have PTSD too, and take other medication for that.

I also have 3DC, am a single parent and have a PhD. To say I’m unreliable would be a lie. I have never been violent. I’ve never needed another adult to do anything for me.

Apologies, I don’t mean to derail the thread.

But as a partner it is great difficulty to know where to go to help.

If he’d lost a limb, it’d be Obvious.

But he doesn’t have the executive functioning required to identify how he feels, describe it, seek help, and implement changes.

It’s almost completely invisible to anyone else.

@WhatsTheBFD maybe your symptoms are different!

I'm 47, diagnosed 3 years ago after my child was diagnosed and everything fell into place. I have 3 DC and a demanding professional job although part time. I am now medicated. The first ones didn't suit me, my current ones are much better. Understanding I am not just a chaotic fuck up waiting to happen has been very helpful. I have always struggled with self esteem and anxiety having never been 'good enough' in childhood. I always worked so hard but still failed to meet everyone's very high expectations given my apparent 'ability'... I could no more harness that ability than fly... I can see that now and start to forgive the child me for being such disappointment to everyone..

@GreenBiro an Ed Psych doesn’t have the ability to diagnose ADHD. So I would remain sceptical that’s the issue, rather than learned incompetence and an excuse to keep you doing everything and to explain away his abusive side. I really don’t mean to be harsh.

My EF is useless since I had my 3rd child, and as for my degrees, done by the skin of my teeth, with adjustments, and not over the standard timeframe either due to it.

I'm nearly 50, diagnosed about 3 months ago.

On elvanse, which is "safe speed". It's life changing. They are going to have to tug it out my cold, dead hand.

“I'm not sure I need a stimulant.”

If you do have ADHD, paradoxically stimulants may calm you down - the opposite of what they do to “normal” people.

Coffee and Coca Cola can have the same effect - DD self medicated with coffee for years, before she was diagnosed at 22. She is now on methylphenidate and we can all see what happens as it wears off! She says she can see her own silly mistakes in work, done without methylphenidate. I’d say she becomes more emotionally hyper-reactive, without it!

@Intercity225

“I'm not sure I need a stimulant.”

If you do have ADHD, paradoxically stimulants may calm you down - the opposite of what they do to “normal” people.

Coffee and Coca Cola can have the same effect - DD self medicated with coffee for years, before she was diagnosed at 22. She is now on methylphenidate and we can all see what happens as it wears off! She says she can see her own silly mistakes in work, done without methylphenidate. I’d say she becomes more emotionally hyper-reactive, without it!

I’m similar.

I am calmer on Methylphenidate. My thinking is far more logical and rational. I don’t get extremely emotional over tiny things. I don’t make silly mistakes.

I have always struggled with self esteem and anxiety having never been 'good enough' in childhood. I always worked so hard but still failed to meet everyone's very high expectations given my apparent 'ability'... I could no more harness that ability than fly... I can see that now and start to forgive the child me for being such disappointment to everyone..

This describes me to a T.

Ah...I started pretty much the same thread yesterday!

Maybe you read it and forgot?

There’s a thread asking for an ADHD board but it doesn’t seem to be getting much traction despite the massive upsurge in ADHD posts

I was one of the other typical late diagnosed types - a high-flyer at school and university, sponsored through my postgrad and then I crumbled when it came to employment, so despite my academic background I've spent most of my life in minimum wage jobs.

@WhatsTheBFD

There’s a thread asking for an ADHD board but it doesn’t seem to be getting much traction despite the massive upsurge in ADHD posts

Could you link to it please?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/4309632-ADHD-ASD-board

Did anyone also suffer with PND/PNA? I'm being medicated for PND and I can related to some of the posts about finally being able to organise myself etc but it's still not enough. I was diagnosed with dyslexia at Uni and was tipped as ADD as well but at the time my GP didn't want to refer me as I didn't "show" at school. Kind of like my dyslexia didn't "show" until I left school too but whatever. Now I'm in 30s I'm trying to get an official ADD diagnosis. But I swear it interplay's with my PNA / generalised anxiety / sleep issues.

I wish there were more studies on all of this. Women are really shortchanged by science

[quote CarolynMartens]www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/4309632-ADHD-ASD-board[/quote]
There is a Mumsnetters with SEN board. Most of the posts are about ADHD and ASD

To get a diagnosis the difficulties need to have been present before the age of 12. Do you have old school reports?

I’m sure most people would have said that I was fine at school, but actually, looking over nursery, primary and secondary school reports the themes are there. Lots of mentions of poor attention span, wanting to only work on what interested me, preferring to sit daydreaming than ask for help, etc.

I also had to get someone who has known me since childhood to fill in a questionnaire too, as well as someone currently in my life.

The other board is very quiet and doesn’t seem to have any long running threads with regular posts,
because the board is hidden on Active.

I’m sure most people would have said that I was fine at school, but actually, looking over nursery, primary and secondary school reports the themes are there. Lots of mentions of poor attention span, wanting to only work on what interested me, preferring to sit daydreaming than ask for help, etc.

I raised concerns about DD with the school, from when she was 12 - I knew there were numerous problems with her executive functioning, but didn't know what the over-arching label was. (I was not aware of how poor her attention was, because she covered it up). Nobody at school ever took any notice, even though I said she couldn't understand what she read!

DH has ADHD, but nobody could fail to notice his hyperactivity! He generally conformed at school though, so he rarely got into trouble! (We barely knew what it was in those days anyway)

Thank you all for sharing your experience and advice. Whilst it saddens me to know that there are so many people (especially women) living with this undiagnosed, I also feel better knowing that I'm not just temperamental and anti social - there is a reason for my behaviour. Onwards and upwards, I'm going to buy some Sudafed and read up on self managing.

Why Sudafed?

Sudafed has pseudoephedrine in. Is that what people take to self medicate? I'll stick to coffee.

I was formally diagnosed earlier this year, and have taken medication for about a month which are having a positive effect so far.

Funnily enough I've noticed when I've taken sudafed (the behind the counter stuff) I've had quite an positive response but didn't put that together. And in my younger days of clubbing and taking drugs, stimulants always had quite a calming effect on me too and I never knew why until I read anecdotes from other people with ADHD who found the same.

I was diagnosed with combined type ADHD, my 'hyperactivity' doesn't come in the typical form. I'm quiet and shy, but quite impulsive ie getting into debt because I can't reign in my spending (thankfully I've been able to control this for the last couple of years), making big decisions without much thought, stuff like that.

Those who have been diagnosed, do you know how much store was set by school reports or parent questionnaire? I was quite attentive until the later years of school and I’ve tried to hide a lot of my traits from my parents so they probably think I’m fine.

My parent report basically said I was totally fine and they hadn't noticed anything wrong with my attention or activity. Still got a diagnosis.

@MistySkiesAfterRain

Mentioned decongestant so I read up. I've ordered some Sudafed and I'll give it a go.