What is one conversation you’ll never have but wish you could have? **Trigger Warning** title edited by MNHQ

[Pleasegivemeyourwisdom]

Please don’t judge me.

If totally honesty was on the table, I’d love to ask the teenage boy who raped me, what he made of his actions now he is a grown —married— man.

I’d secretly love to know if he’s sorry for his actions. Or even if he acknowledges what he did.

Humour me perhap but is there a conversation you’d love to have?

Ps. I’m reflective. I’m on the vino.

I'd like to ask my mother why she immediately assumed I, at 13 years old was, was having an affair with her partner rather than I was being abused. I won't ever give her the time of day again but if I could

Sorry to hear about what happened to you - I can definitely see why you’d be intrigued to find out how he feels about it now. I wonder in general if a lot of rapists even understand what they have done to their victim? (Obviously I don’t know your personal circumstances)

For me, my dad passed when I was too young to remember him, so I would just love to speak to him and see what he was like.

Id love to ask ‘my’ rapist why?
He had it all and he knows we had sex-so why lie to the police?

I’d love to ask his girlfriend why the hell she stayed with him,after two of us,3 months apart came forward
Why didn’t she ask questions instead of swallowing his lies without thinking about it?
She sat in that courtroom throwing us both dirty looks and we didn’t deserve that-he was found not guilty and it’s ruined my life forever-I’d never wish it on her

I’d love to ask my ex why he thought it was funny to mess with my head so badly I had a breakdown

I’d love to ask my mother why she pulled some stunts that are so unbelievable that if I listed them I’d be called a liar-but it’s all true

I’d ask my father why he took her side and labelled me ‘mentally Ill’

Bullies at school-why?what did I ever do to you?

The list goes on…

Id ask the teenage boy why he raped me when I was 11 and if he regrets it.

I'd ask the high school "friends" who called me a slag after I disclosed my rape to them if they're ashamed of themselves

I'd ask the teachers who failed to listen or report it when I went to them for help if they are proud of themselves.

Eugh. Horrific. I’m sorry 😞

Gosh. I’d love to talk to both of my parents (separately) as they were before they were too ill to have a conversation but also with the hindsight of everything that happened after their respective deaths. Perhaps that yearning was felt by whoever thought up the afterlife.

I'd ask my brother why he sexually assaulted me and I would ask my parents if they knew? I suspect they did.

I’d also love to ask my parents why they left with me with an abusive brother 😱

Op why would we judge you? What do you think is being thought and why ?

I’m pondering all your replies ; thanks for taking the time to reply x

I guess In case you think me a silly old boot for reflecting on the past!

This thread is heart breaking. Much love to all of you and I hope that somehow and at some point you find peace ❤

I'd ask my great grandmothers about all the family secrets that died with them.

I'd ask my ex why he put me through the hell he did. I actually could but hell would freeze over before I spoke to him out of anything but sheer life or death necessity.

Same here re rapist.

He was kissed - turns out he had a drinking problem.

I'd like to know if he even realises what he did and if he does if he has any idea of the effect he's had on over half my life since.

I'd also like to have an open conversation with myself about why I won't face how I really feel about it and get help - instead of always pushing the emotions down when they come up.

for all who have experienced the same.

Thanks. You’re kind. What i find odd is someone is married to my teenage rapist and he’s likely a great married man, I know he has 3 kids and his wife is a doctor. I find mans inhumanity to man quite breath taking.

I would tell my best friend that no matter what her mum said, I did not put myself down as next of kin. Just 'point of contact' and I really hope that her mum didn't make my friends last hours unpleasant.
And I'm so so sorry I wasn't there. But my name was mud.
But I DIDNT put myself down as next of kin. I really didn't.

I’d ask my friend why she thought suicide was the answer, she was 17 and beautiful and had her whole life in front of her.

I'd like to ask my father why he threatened my mother and told her to abort me, after he got her pregnant aged at only 19. Whilst he was married, older and extremely abusive. I'd also ask him if he regrets the 30 years he's missed. I'll never have this conversation as he doesn't know I'm alive and I wouldn't want such a man around my children.

I'd love to talk to my grandad, the man who raised me, and the first man I ever loved, about my son who he never got to meet. He passed suddenly 2 weeks after giving me away at me wedding, in his 60s.

I'd like to ask the man who sexually assaulted me whilst I was unconscious, if he understands the trauma he's caused for the rest of my life.

I'd like to ask the midwife who ignored my pleas during labour, if she regrets the way she treated me, and If she realises that my child wouldn't have almost died if she had followed procedure. And ask her never to treat another woman that way, and tell her that I still have PTSD and extreme anxiety due to that ordeal. Due to being told my child probably wouldn't make it, due to being left on a ward of screaming babies when no one would tell me if mine was alive. For making me wait 9 hours before anyone would help me. I couldn't move as I had a spinal.

I'm so sorry to everyone on this thread. My issues seem so small compared to some of these awful things you have all faced. You are all so, so strong 💗

Oh my. That’s awful. I’m so sorry.

I’m so sorry for all your trauma/ but your replies are making me feel less stupid and alone. Thank you for that.

I'd like to ask my parents why when I was sexually assaulted by a stranger aged 11 and I ran home and told them what had happened they didn't call the police or ever speak of it again. A few years later when my younger sister was 10, she was flashed at on her way home from school. Police immediately called and flasher was found and arrested. Lots of treats and help for my sister to get over it.

I just can't get my head around it.

I would love to know why my parents, dumped me when my only brother died.. especially as they didn't get on with him!

😞 sorry I forgot to add a trigger warning x

Again, that’s crap; and doesn’t make sense to me either guys!