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Original poster

What is one conversation you’ll never have but wish you could have? **Trigger Warning** title edited by MNHQ

67 replies

Pleasegivemeyourwisdom · 04/09/2021 21:30

Please don’t judge me.

If totally honesty was on the table, I’d love to ask the teenage boy who raped me, what he made of his actions now he is a grown —married— man.

I’d secretly love to know if he’s sorry for his actions. Or even if he acknowledges what he did.

Humour me perhap but is there a conversation you’d love to have?

OP posts:
DontPeeInThePlayHouse · 04/09/2021 22:24

I was witness to a horrid suicide as a teen. She died begging for her life. It gave me years of trauma I'm still not completely over. If I could have one conversation, I'd go to her before her act and just talk. She didn't want to die, she just couldn't see another way out, she must have felt so alone and scared. I'm glad in a stupid way I was with her in her final moments but I doubt she got the peace she was after. If she had someone at that point both of our lives could have been so different.

Gingerandgivingzerofucks · 04/09/2021 22:25

@Hellocatshome

I'd ask my brother why he sexually assaulted me and I would ask my parents if they knew? I suspect they did.
I’m with you on that. Flowers Cake

I’d also ask my not so dm why the fuck she drinks so much and why she very clearly prefers my brother to me.

Legwarmers · 04/09/2021 22:27

I'd like to ask the family who were meant to be caring for me when I was a child why they physically, sexually,emotionally and verbally abused me. Was I really that bad? I knew they didn't like me and when I would ask to leave them and go to a children's home they would beat me up even more and call me ungrateful plus worse. We were alone and they knew nobody would ever believe us if we told them. I was ashamed so still didn't say anything, even when i eventually retaliated I never told anyone the truth of what happened that night, so I got the blame as the bad girl.
I would like to ask my teachers why they kept quiet, I really believe they had an idea I was being abused. There are signs that adults pick up - I know that now. But they didn't say a word. If I ran away I would be sent back to the family and would receive more abuse once the person bringing me back had left.
Finally I would Like my parents to tell Me why they handed me to a family they didn't know. They didn't have to do that. I know that now.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 04/09/2021 22:27

I’d like to ask both my parents why they lied to me for my whole life.
I’d like to ask my mother why she hated me so much and tell her that, no, I did not wreck her life by being born-she did that by fucking a married man.
I’d also love to speak to my grandad one last time; my only protector and such love and comfort would be gained.

Original poster
Pleasegivemeyourwisdom · 04/09/2021 22:31

I wish I could get honest answers for you all x

OP posts:
RightSaidPleb · 04/09/2021 22:33

I know this thread has some awful content and I feel for all of you.

Not wishing to derail the thread but taking the title literally 'conversations you know you could never have but want to'... I'd speak to the love of my life, my best friend and beautiful DDog and say that she was the absolute bestest girl ever and I'm so sorry we had to say goodbye but we didn't want her to be in pain anymore. And I'd want to know that she knew she was loved and is missed every day

Sorry, not probably the point of the thread but something I think often

Original poster
Pleasegivemeyourwisdom · 04/09/2021 22:35

I love that!

OP posts:
MrsAvocet · 04/09/2021 22:40

Mine is minor compared to others but I would really like to talk to the young man who drove his car into mine at speed a few years ago.
I suffered serious injuries, have constant pain, am still waiting for more surgery, and I lost my job as a result. He got 8 points and a £300 fine.
I don't hate him. (I do hate some of the otger people involved, particularly my ex employers who treated me appallingly, but he was barely an adult who made a stupid mistake.)I wouldn't want his life to be ruined as a result - no point in that. But I would like to be sure that he realises the full impact of his actions so that he doesn't do it again and naybe can influence other young lads like himself.

ChateauMargaux · 04/09/2021 22:41

Reading all of these is heartbreaking.

I am currently 'night watching' as my mother is on life support and we her family, try to fix the things she hadn't been able to fix while she was alive.

I wish I could have been brave enough to do them for her before. I wish I had contacted her sister's child that my mother wanted to keep in the family but instead she had to give for adoption. I wish I had told her brother who raped her exactly what affect that had on her entire life.

I hope I am brave enough to do that now and I hope it is enough to allow here to rest in peace because she certainly didn't have a peaceful life.

Mollypolly2610 · 04/09/2021 22:42

@cutmylifeintopizza

OMG the same!

Now 65 and think about it every day!

ImNotShpanishImEgyptshun · 04/09/2021 22:44

I'd talk to XH and let him know the things that DD has told me about how his wife speaks to him. I'd ask If he's OK. I'd tell him that he doesn't deserve to be humiliated and belittled like that. I'd let him know I was there if he needed to talk.

BrioLover · 04/09/2021 22:46

I'd love to talk to my mum. She died when I was pregnant with DS1 and I miss her every day.

MrsAvocet · 04/09/2021 22:46

Come to think of it, I would like to ask my ex line manager why he behaved so badly. In particular I would like to know why the spineless bastard thought it was appropriate to phone me outside working hours to "offer pastoral support" the day after they sacked me when he had not made spontaneous contact with me on one single occasion since the accident and had offered no support whatsoever until then.

Warrickdaviesasplates · 04/09/2021 22:50

I'd probably ask my Dad why he never bothered to keep in touch with us after he left, if it hurt him not to see his children anymore, if he ever thinks about us or wonders what happened to us, if people ask if he has kids does he say yes or does he pretend we don't exists at all... I'd mostly want to know why he left us with my mentally unstable mother when he must have known the abuse would only get worse.

I'd also like to talk to the babies I couldn't carry to term and tell them I'm sorry and that I think of them often. I hope I was a good home for them while they were with me.

I'm so sorry to all the people on this thread and all the sadness you've had to experience. X

pecanmix · 04/09/2021 22:50

I'd ask my father why he destroyed my self esteem and then left the family, leaving me with responsibility far too young. I have my own child and I cannot imagine doing it.

EmeraldRaine · 04/09/2021 22:56

Id ask the man who sexually harassed me at work if he knows or cares that i was driven right to the edge by the consequences of what he did.

TheDramaLlama123 · 04/09/2021 23:29

I'd like to ask my Ex if he thinks all the times he raped me and belittled me was ok and then left me for another woman who hated my kids - is fine as now they are older he is taken them away from me and painting me as unstable bc I struggle with life after over 21 years of cohesive control (apparently forcing you into abortion and threatening to kill you pets is acceptable) also I would love to tell the daughter I aborted that she was wanted and loved. I have only just realised most of what's happened after watching a documentary on abuse and have beaten myself up so much over the years.

Gimlisaxe · 04/09/2021 23:37

I would ask the person who emotionally abused me what he would do to a man who did that to his daughter.

On a different note. I would ask my partner's grandmother (on his mum's side) why contact was cut completely after his mum died, to the point that we still can't get in contact, his dad has died now, so she is the only one who might know. My partner would also like to know, but he has gotten use to the idea he might never get the answer

Watchingyouwazowski · 05/09/2021 00:22

I would ask my dad why he killed himself. Was it because of me? I would tell him I was lied to by my adoptive family and didn’t know the amazing person he truly was. I would ask what happened to my mother to make her so cold and closed off. I think she loved me but there was so much she could have said and never did. Or maybe she just didn’t care?
I would tell my brother I was sorry I couldn’t help him and wasn’t there but that I hope we meet again in another space and time.
I would ask my ex why he wanted to control me. Why wouldn’t he let me go when I asked so many times. Why did he mess with my head and those of our children. How did he convince everyone that he was the victim when I finally got him to leave?

Montyman1 · 05/09/2021 00:25

I’d ask my brother in law if he thinks about me at all when his daughters hit 15, if he would think it ok for their brothers in law, 12 years older to tell them they’re the best looking 15 years olds they’ve ever known and take their virginity after they’ve disclosed abuse by a family friend to them. If he thinks about it as he runs his very successful business and is the greatest family man, best dad, best husband…does he think about what happened, more than once, or does he think it’s my fault like I do? Bit deep, sorry Grin

SwanhildaOgden · 05/09/2021 00:27

I'm sorry for your sad stories 💐
I'd tell my friend to go out with the guy she'd fancied for ages- instead of being gooseberry
I'd also tell someone I really did love them. Truly.

SolitaryTree · 05/09/2021 00:31

I would ask so many people why they hurt me when I was a child.
Emotionally, sexually and physically.
I have come to terms with the fact that I will never know but if the chance was there I would like to know.
I would like to hear from them that it was their fault and not mine, just so that I can know for certain.

Bloodybridget · 05/09/2021 00:48

I'd ask each of my parents, both long dead, many more questions about their lives. Especially my DF - did he really have no idea who his father was? Was it, as my DM once suggested to me, a son in the household where his mother was a servant?

anon6578 · 05/09/2021 01:39

Why my dad left; why he had to tell me he was going, why he told me it was my job to fix. Why he told me he didn’t love mummy and I needed to sort it. I wasn’t even seven. I tried; I failed; and I’ve never forgiven myself - every day I think that divorce and the fallout after was my fault entirely .

Susannahmoody · 05/09/2021 02:58

I want to know why all the men in Texas aren't standing up and saying, just a second, WTAF just happened?

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