Baby sleep is ruining our life

[DueyCheatemAndHow]

She's 11 months. We have some good (ish) nights but I can't remember the last time I had more than 3 hours in a row. I've spent upwards of 2.5 hours today getting her to sleep. It was bedtime an hour and ahalf ago, she slept for 20 mins and then woke up and nothing I can do gets her to back.

We have no evening. We have no way of having an evening out together as I can't risk her being unsettled for someone else.

Hours upon hours every day are spent trying to get her to sleep.

I'm broken. I'm absolutely broken. I'm trying to night wean but she just screams for hours with DH.

I hate my life. I feel like I'm living underwater watching everyone else live.

As the mother of a similarly wakeful baby, for you because it is really, really hard.

Have you done the infant sleep screening on the Evolutionary Parenting website? It is designed to throw up any areas of potential concern (it might give you more of a clue about reflux/not reflux).

I would also recommend the Facebook group The Beyond Sleep Training Project, it is evidence based but very gentle (no one of there will recommend sleep training to you).

Is your husband doing everything he can to help maximise your rest? I did the overnight stuff but my husband got up with our son at half five every day including weekends for months and months. Knowing I would get that little bit of undisturbed rest (a shorter lie in on weekdays and a longer one on weekends) kept me sane, and also made me feel supported.

Both mine didnt sleep through til over 2 years old.

Shes still young her sleep will improve over time. Obviously that doesn't help you right now

Absolutely no idea why my previous post was deleted by mn.. Bizarre!
I basically said one of mine was the same with reflux and we had to nightwean from bf with my dh going in every night..it took time but did eventually work. Is she maybe not eating enough solids in the day?

I just couldn't read and run. I feel you so much it actually makes my heart ache. People who have not been through that severe sleep deprivation just do not understand. Knowing it gets better in a few years is little comfort when you're in it. It's form of torture. I was actually suicidal from it four months ago so I mean it when I say, please seek help from your GP. There are people who can help you but you must be mentally as strong as you possibly can be to make changes. For me, I got emergency referral to the perinatal mental health team who came to see me every day for a few weeks, gave me coping strategies, advised me on sleep training methods, got me appropriate medication and educated and supported my husband on how to make sure we both maximised our sleep.

Sending you love and support. My little one has bronchiolitis at the moment so we've had 9 days of 2/3 hours sleep a night but I promise you my son was the WORST sleeper and at 12 months it started to improve drastically. There is hope. Keep talking xxx

I think you expected her to sleep like your other child, so it's set you up to fail because not all babies/children need the same amount of sleep. With naps like that of a day mine and one of my grandchildren wouldn't have gone down before nine o'clock. It isn't necessarily going to be bedtime just because you say it is. I had to accept the later bedtime, so we'd sleep for a decent amount of time. This baby is just higher needs than your first. Look into sleep training and the advice on here, but she may never sleep the same amount as your first. Simplify other areas of your life, like not making birthday cakes etc. Not all babies slot in, sometimes you've got to make changes for them.