Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Baby sleep is ruining our life

80 replies

DueyCheatemAndHow · 04/09/2021 20:09

She's 11 months. We have some good (ish) nights but I can't remember the last time I had more than 3 hours in a row. I've spent upwards of 2.5 hours today getting her to sleep. It was bedtime an hour and ahalf ago, she slept for 20 mins and then woke up and nothing I can do gets her to back.

We have no evening. We have no way of having an evening out together as I can't risk her being unsettled for someone else.

Hours upon hours every day are spent trying to get her to sleep.

I'm broken. I'm absolutely broken. I'm trying to night wean but she just screams for hours with DH.

I hate my life. I feel like I'm living underwater watching everyone else live.

OP posts:
gemloving · 04/09/2021 21:34

What time does she wake up in the morning and how long does she sleep in a 24h period? X

Original poster
DueyCheatemAndHow · 04/09/2021 21:39

She wakes at 7 (or is woken by us)

Nap of up to an hour in the morning, then up to 2 in the afternoon (tho usually has about an hour and a half, sometimes only 40 mins then rocking and rolling) then bed at 6.45. We follow the same routine the consultant gave us for our son

My gut says it isn't reflux but I've been toying this for 10 months and the worry and the thinking and the tiredness has just ruined me

OP posts:
Knittedfairies · 04/09/2021 21:42

Any chance of getting a night nanny in?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

9-12 months old Babies & sleep Children's sleep Families
FTEngineerM · 04/09/2021 21:42

So there are 3 naps in a day at the minute? Sorry couldn’t quite work out from your pp.

Original poster
DueyCheatemAndHow · 04/09/2021 21:42

No sorry 2 naps, one of up to an hour and one up to 2 hours

OP posts:
TokenGinger · 04/09/2021 21:44

I don't have much advice but here to offer solidarity. My son is 2 years and 3 months and still doesn't sleep through. However, he is much better.

At your daughter's age, my son was very much the same. Sleep was such a struggle. I'd say when he got to 18 months, we managed to get down to one nap a day which helped a lot as he'd have one longer nap where I could sleep too (on weekends) to catch up.

For us, we weren't in a rush to drop the bedtime milk. Like you say, he'd scream for hours until he got it. Whereas if we gave him milk, he'd go straight back off and we'd get more sleep. So we'd buy pre-made bottles for the night time and take up clean bottles and pour the milk in when he woke to save making bottles.

We've only recently in the past 4 weeks stopped milk in the night. He does still wake, but he walks from his room to ours and gets into our bed. Again, sleep wins for us and we just allow this. It doesn't bother us. 9 times out of 10, one of us will then go and get in his bed so one of us gets a good solid 5-6 hours of sleep.

Is there any way you could alternate night shifts with your DH to allow you both to get a good block of sleep every few nights?

Chatty987 · 04/09/2021 21:49

Sounds like a sleep problem not a feeding problem albeit the night weaning can be addressed/nipped in the bud at the same time as any sleep training.

itshappened · 04/09/2021 21:50

I've been there it's awful. Honestly you need to speak to the sleep fairy.. Alison Scott Wright. She is an expert on reflux and dairy intolerances and sleep training. A baby won't sleep until you get on top of the source of the problem and I promise she will help you do that. She totally changed my daughters life and we all got some sleep after following her advice and sleep training. This isn't an advert, just a recommendation of how you can overcome your babies sleep issues.

Dragonpox · 04/09/2021 21:52

Is she in a cot? When I moved DD to a bed things got a bit better. Even if it was because I could sleep on her little toddler bed with her if I had to, and even though it was uncomfy, it was sleep!

HurryUpAndWait23 · 04/09/2021 21:53

It's reflux.

Do you have milk in your diet?

Truenorthmum · 04/09/2021 22:02

Op were you referred for allergy testing after diagnosis of cmpa?

I'm sure you're already aware that cmpa babies are likely to have other allergies but if not please push for this.

Our cmpa baby had full allergy screening (granted only after anaphylaxis reaction) and it turns out he also has allergies to lots of other common ingredients in both home cooking and pre prepared foods but a lot of his reactions weren't obvious even gp's missed the signs, with the exception of peanuts.

He was a totally different baby after we cut the allergens out, sleep, silent reflux the lot.

It might not be that at all but worth a try.

Good luck.

Abitlost2 · 04/09/2021 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

serialname · 04/09/2021 22:27

Some children sleep through, some don't. Our child didn't sleep through the night reliably until they were 10..... hate to say this...years old.

My advice is try not to keep tabs on how much sleep you get (it's too demoralising), accept the situation and get as much sleep as you can, when you can.

Do WHATEVER it takes to make the situation as calm as possible. Don't argue about it, get angry about it or upset about it. The calmer you are, sooner the child and you will fall to sleep.

PathOfLeastResitance · 04/09/2021 22:36

The lack of sleep is a complete a hole. Both of mine were like this and I look back and can’t figure out how we are all still here. I tried everything and in the end it was just time and now they sleep.
Re the cake. Buy a plain cake from wherever and poke Hey Duggee figures into it. Also look on eBay for the pre decorated fondant cake tops that you can get their name printed on. Lay it on top of bought cake and boom, job done. If you want to really add some bits and bobs, pile haribo up on it.

TinselTime21 · 04/09/2021 22:43

Try a soya formula. Or If close to 12m alpro do a growing up soya near the longlife milk. Worth a go. My ds is cmpa as takes well to this.

cashmoneyy · 04/09/2021 22:47

@DueyCheatemAndHow

She wakes at 7 (or is woken by us)

Nap of up to an hour in the morning, then up to 2 in the afternoon (tho usually has about an hour and a half, sometimes only 40 mins then rocking and rolling) then bed at 6.45. We follow the same routine the consultant gave us for our son

My gut says it isn't reflux but I've been toying this for 10 months and the worry and the thinking and the tiredness has just ruined me

OP my baby is the same age and I had similar issues until I recently changed some things. Your baby waking after 20 mins might mean she's experienced a false start meaning it's almost like a nap for her because her wake window wasn't long enough. Our 11 month old wakes at 7 and goes to bed at 8pm. 6:45pm would be too early. He can go to sleep at that time but would wake up after a bit because he's not tired enough. Wake windows between naps are 2.5 hours between waking and first nap, 3.5 between first and second nap, and 4.5 hours between 2nd nap and bedtime. Maybe try this consistently for a week and see if it helps at all
ZoyaTheDestroyer · 04/09/2021 22:52

Have you cut dairy and soya out of your own diet?

ZoyaTheDestroyer · 04/09/2021 22:54

Do NOT give soy milk unless you are sure she is not allergic - it is very common alongside CMPA.

pecanmix · 04/09/2021 22:55

I'm sorry op. This was me as well. I had no help either as dh wasn't present.

It does get better. It feels like it'll be forever but it won't.

Do you cosleep? Is it something you'd consider? Because as soon as I did that, everyone slept. Everyone. And it just made life so much more bearable.

pecanmix · 04/09/2021 22:56

Ah sorry op. Ignore my message as I have now rtft (I am a knob)

Wnikat · 04/09/2021 23:27

Dr Jay Gordon nightweaning method worked for me. Means I had a bad week but life was a lot easier after that. My husband trying to night wean him was torture for everyone, was easier to do it myself with pat shush.

Original poster
DueyCheatemAndHow · 05/09/2021 09:31

Thanks everyone.

I've been totally off dairy, soya and egg for months but my gut says it isn't reflux. We've been reintroducing egg and there's been no change.

One big issue is her eating. Sometimes she eats well but other times she just isn't interested. Breakfast this morning was one mouthful of porridge. I tried her with toast, hard boiled egg, banana and porridge. Everything rejected.

OP posts:
Dragonpox · 05/09/2021 11:57

Jay Gordon worked for us. It's painful at first - the first week was HARD but it did improve things and it's pretty gentle.

Redlorryyellowlorryblue · 05/09/2021 13:20

Haven’t read all of the comments but have you tried putting vanilla essence into the formula? That’s what a dietitian recommended for our DD as it smelt and tasted so awful.

elbea · 05/09/2021 19:09

@DueyCheatemAndHow I’d urge you to look at Solid Starts Instagram and website. They have great advice for preventing fussy eaters.

Swipe left for the next trending thread