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Original poster

After years of dog ownership

51 replies

Shamsa03 · 03/09/2021 23:18

After years of owning dogs I've realised I am NOT a dog person.

The only dog I've bonded with is this one and I've always wondered why I've never bonded with the dogs before him Hmm

After a lot of soul searching I've realised alot of my depression and anxiety is triggered by dog ownership.

After this one I'm not having another.

Not sure why I'm posting this but feel better writing it down.

OP posts:
ArcherDog · 03/09/2021 23:23

I am a dog person. Work with them, my hobby is with them. I love them.

However dog ownership? Not for me either.

I love Archer, he is my world. And that is the problem. He is my world. My world revolves around him. Such a tie.

I won’t get another dog after him. I will enjoy the freedom.

Original poster
Shamsa03 · 03/09/2021 23:29

@ArcherDog

I am a dog person. Work with them, my hobby is with them. I love them.

However dog ownership? Not for me either.

I love Archer, he is my world. And that is the problem. He is my world. My world revolves around him. Such a tie.

I won’t get another dog after him. I will enjoy the freedom.

Thank you for posting. I feel bad because well people are meant to love having a dog and if not then you are a bad person.

Its nice to know someone else doesn't enjoy dog ownership.

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 03/09/2021 23:29

I loved our dog but we wouldn’t get another, although I think DH would like to. It’s just a huge tie in life. It kills spontaneity and makes holidays more stressful, you feel guilty using kennels but don’t want to burden someone. And UK holidays where you can bring the dog are just being at home somewhere else.

I honestly think only a very few people are really cut out for being dog owners - as in can do everything right for the dog and still enjoy themselves properly.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Dogs
Original poster
Shamsa03 · 03/09/2021 23:37

@Kanaloa

I loved our dog but we wouldn’t get another, although I think DH would like to. It’s just a huge tie in life. It kills spontaneity and makes holidays more stressful, you feel guilty using kennels but don’t want to burden someone. And UK holidays where you can bring the dog are just being at home somewhere else.

I honestly think only a very few people are really cut out for being dog owners - as in can do everything right for the dog and still enjoy themselves properly.

I love my dog too but I'm so stressed with him my nerves are shot to pieces, I worry about him all the time, i really could not face another and don't think I will ever feel this bond again.

I am completely the wrong person to own a dog im useless and it's took me a long time to realise this and come to terms with it.

OP posts:
Blossomtoes · 03/09/2021 23:38

I don’t feel the slightest bit guilty for leaving ours in kennels. She’s perfectly happy there. We lost our dog in June 2019 and lasted until August before we went to see a litter. The house didn’t feel like home with no dog.

Aquamarine1029 · 03/09/2021 23:40

I am a lifelong dog owner and I love dogs with all my heart, my husband does as well. However, our last gorgeous, lovely girl died 2 years ago and we've decided not to get another. It was a difficult decision but definitely the right one. My husband and I both are just not wanting the 24/7 commitment a dog deserves and requires. My heart aches quite frequently.

onlychildhamster · 03/09/2021 23:43

Not a dog owner but I always wondered what kind of people can keep dogs

Original poster
Shamsa03 · 03/09/2021 23:45

@Aquamarine1029

I am a lifelong dog owner and I love dogs with all my heart, my husband does as well. However, our last gorgeous, lovely girl died 2 years ago and we've decided not to get another. It was a difficult decision but definitely the right one. My husband and I both are just not wanting the 24/7 commitment a dog deserves and requires. My heart aches quite frequently.
Sorry to hear about your dog. How do you feel about not having a dog in your home? I admit I do feel anxious about being without one they have been part of my life for a long time but on the other hand I can't help but imagine I will feel relieved not to have the worry.
OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 03/09/2021 23:50

How do you feel about not having a dog in your home?

We both feel she is still here all the time. When someone rings the doorbell I still expect to hear her running for the door. Little things like that. I miss her every day. We have 4 cats that we cherish, but there is definitely an empty place without her.

onlychildhamster · 03/09/2021 23:51

Sorry posted too soon!

I meant- given the general consensus on the responsibilities of dog ownership in uk- not leaving your dog for more than 4 hours. I mean surely a dinner out with friends lasts longer than that. Going to the supermarket alone takes me more than an hour! I come from a country (Singapore) where at least 25% of households have domestic helpers and many families are multi-generational so there is always someone at home. But in the UK, both parents generally work, pre pandemic, WFH wasn't as common, kids go to school? Doggy daycare costs quite a bit too.

The only person I know who has always had dogs is self employed. And u know some older people with dogs but they are either semi retired or have partners with their own business etc. I know a few new dog owners who got lockdown puppies but they aren't back at work yet. But yet when I look at stats, 30% of households have dogs! How do they manage it?

Aquamarine1029 · 04/09/2021 00:04

But yet when I look at stats, 30% of households have dogs! How do they manage it?

Sadly, there are far too many dogs that are not cared for properly.

TractorAndHeadphones · 04/09/2021 00:20

@Aquamarine1029

But yet when I look at stats, 30% of households have dogs! How do they manage it?

Sadly, there are far too many dogs that are not cared for properly.

THis. If people want something to leave at home all day they should get a pair of guinea pigs or a cat.
BlackIsQueen · 04/09/2021 00:25

My beloved girl died last year and I always say that the rescue went both ways I rescued her and she rescued me right back. I will never have another, the emotional and financial costs are too much to bear. Truly my heart will always be broken for her

WinTheNight · 04/09/2021 00:28

I feel bad because well people are meant to love having a dog and if not then you are a bad person.

I think people are bad if they mistreat animals. Having one and looking after them but maybe not enjoying it doesn’t make you a bad person.

Personally I love animals, we’ve got 3 dogs and I’d have more tomorrow. But it’s not for everyone and that’s ok.

WinTheNight · 04/09/2021 00:32

My beloved girl died last year and I always say that the rescue went both ways I rescued her and she rescued me right back. I will never have another, the emotional and financial costs are too much to bear. Truly my heart will always be broken for her

Sorry to hear you lost your lovely girl. We lost a dog last year under awful circumstances. I genuinely didn’t think I’d ever recover. I still feel very very sad and when I let my head go there, I can cry for hours. It’s a dreadful feeling. I hope you’re doing ok, it sounds like you were very lucky to have each other. ❤️

goodwinter · 04/09/2021 00:33

I feel this!

I love my dog so, so much. He's my best friend and I would sacrifice anything to keep him safe and happy.

But.

He is a huge responsibility and I have very little freedom these days. So much of my time is taken up by caring for him, worrying about him, worrying about how he'll be looked after if we need to go out for longer than 4 hours or we ever want to go on holiday as a couple again. I've had to turn down so many social things because I can't get someone to care for him. He's such a cuddly sap that I don't know if he'd cope well in kennels.

So, although I love him with all my heart and I am 10000% a dog person, when he goes I don't think I'll get another. Maybe when I'm retired!

BlackIsQueen · 04/09/2021 00:37

Thank you Win. Between the menobloodypause, caring, dog dying and bloody Covid it's all a bit much tbh. I cry everyday over one thing or another!

WinTheNight · 04/09/2021 00:54

Thank you Win. Between the menobloodypause, caring, dog dying and bloody Covid it's all a bit much tbh. I cry everyday over one thing or another!

That sounds tough. 💐 I genuinely wish I could say something that would help but there’s nothing. Sometimes life is just bloody hard and you need to have a good cry to get some relief. I hope life becomes a bit easier for you. x

OmgIcantbelieveshedidit · 04/09/2021 00:57

I had a dog for 19 years who was my best friend. He died and for 10 years I didn’t have a dog then my daughter wanted one as we got B and he is the love of my life and we got puppies from him and kept one. Will never ever have a dog like B though. He saved me.

spooney21 · 04/09/2021 01:05

I love my dog so much. He is literally the second child I couldn't have. He's the most amazing boy. We are lucky now that we have family nearby who love you have him but we also pay £20 per day for day care( twice per week) so it costs more than our child (after you add in vet fees, regular medication and food/ treats etc).

We wouldn't be without him though as he's part of the family but I'm not sure if i would get another dog after as not only would it be heartbreaking but I'd like to do spontaneous things and holiday to exotic places (which require more than a week).

maofteens · 04/09/2021 01:21

I have two dogs currently, and have had a dog in the family most of my life, except when I was on my own working full time.I've always had cats too.
I do love the animals, but I'm not sentimental about them. They are part of the family but they are not humans. By the fact of their shorter lifespan they will inevitably die, or get killed.
A friend did tell me her dogs kept her sane when going through a divorce- having to get up and out to walk them every day gave her structure and something to focus on. But that's not how I felt when my husband died - they were just another chore I needed to deal with.

Babyroobs · 04/09/2021 01:29

I love my dogs but yes they do take a huge amount of time up and completely restrict us. My younger dog is very anxious, he follows me everywhere which can be suffocating at times. We left him once with a dog sitter, to go abroad, he came back riddled with fleas and his anxiety was terrible so I vowed not to leave him again. It's hard.

SilverConvention · 04/09/2021 01:32

People have been brainwashed into keeping dogs. I think it's crazy. They cost a fortune. They stink. They are unhygienic. They are noisy. They are a bind. You have to pick up poo. Why do people fall for this???!!! If only people would really think about what they are doing, society would move on from this bizarre cult of dog worship.

WinTheNight · 04/09/2021 01:33

They are restricting if you like to be out a lot and holiday abroad. For us, there’s generally someone at home or we arrange someone to be. The dogs come most places but we are home a lot anyway. We don’t go abroad on holiday so we don’t have that issue. The dogs are what we enjoy our lives being about...and the kids of course. 🤣

WinTheNight · 04/09/2021 01:34

People have been brainwashed into keeping dogs. I think it's crazy. They cost a fortune. They stink. They are unhygienic. They are noisy. They are a bind. You have to pick up poo. Why do people fall for this???!!! If only people would really think about what they are doing, society would move on from this bizarre cult of dog worship.

🤣🤣🤣 Happy to be in my dog cult. 🐶