After years of dog ownership

[Shamsa03]

After years of owning dogs I've realised I am NOT a dog person.

The only dog I've bonded with is this one and I've always wondered why I've never bonded with the dogs before him

After a lot of soul searching I've realised alot of my depression and anxiety is triggered by dog ownership.

After this one I'm not having another.

Not sure why I'm posting this but feel better writing it down.

People have been brainwashed into keeping dogs. I think it's crazy. They cost a fortune. They stink. They are unhygienic. They are noisy. They are a bind. You have to pick up poo. Why do people fall for this???!!! If only people would really think about what they are doing, society would move on from this bizarre cult of dog worship.

It was strange to me when I first came to the Uk as I am from Asia where dog ownership is not as common. But it is now much more common in my home country. I regard it as a phenomenon of a developed Western country though there are exceptions to the rule. The mark of rich countries is smaller nuclear households, hence the motivation to add four legged members to it. Individualistic societies like the UK/USA also have very high rates of dog ownership possibly due to higher rates of loneliness.

I have 6 dogs and I must admit I'm done with it now.
I've had dogs for the last 35 years and I now realise that I should've stopped with my eldest 2, who are both 10½ years old.

Unfortunately, my heart ruled my head 6½ years ago, and I now also have 4 lapdogs (all siblings).

They're are very loving and sweet dogs, but are extremely clingy as their name suggests...they really do just want to sit on my lap all day long and don't like to be without human company, especially since lockdown, as they've basically not been alone for over 18 months now.

I was already a sahm so they were used to someone being around for much of each day, but I was busy doing things, so although I was around I didn't have time to just sit down all day.

I've been really ill over a lot of lockdown and everyone else has been stuck at home so they've really gotten used to having someone sitting with them pretty much all day long.

Trying to get them used to pre-lockdown life is proving time consuming and stressful, especially as most of it falls to me to deal with.

All the fireworks and banging with the clapping for nhs, etc, that happened every week (more often here) for a year also turned one of them into a nervous wreck and this is also proving difficult to fix.

Most of all though, I'm just fed up of the tie they present. You can't be spontaneous and kennels really need to be booked in advance, especially with so many.
With just 2, my parents would have them for a few days at least, but not 6!

I do love them, and I feel awful admitting it, but I won't be sorry to see them go (once I'm over the initial sadness and grief) and I definitely won't be getting any more pets.

I think one PP summed it up pretty well actually...I feel suffocated by them and most of the chores, etc, fall to me even though everyone wanted them, and I'm the one in the worst health, so it is a struggle.

I think it's become worse since 2 of them don't get on so well...'my' little one has become quite jealous of the nervous one as he tends to get more attention and when I sit with them he will sometimes turn and attack him for no apparent reason which is in itself stressful and makes me not want to be around them as it seems to be me that triggers it.

We are getting help from a behaviourist, but it's just another thing I didn't need or want at my age!

Honestly, I’m surprised more people don’t feel like this about parenting! I have a dog and definitely enjoy having him on the whole, although it isn’t enjoyable every single day, if you see what I mean. Having kids looks far more restrictive and hard work to me

@TedMullins don't have a kid yet, so could be wrong. But kids grow up and you can bring them on a plane or to a Chinese restaurant (most are child friendly). Thats good enough for me. Also for me, its easier to persuade MIL to look after a baby rather than a dog. :)

But yes there are a lot of child regret threads on mumsnet

I probably sound awful.

Our dogs are well loved and properly cared for and I will obviously be devastated when they die, but I also know that I will enjoy the freedom, the absence of dog hair and lack of general mess and being tied down and being unable to be spontaneous and go out for the day without them.

Christ not even three pages in and someone is wanging on about how dogs are like kids. You own a dog. You raise a kid. A kid will all being well eventually have an independent place in human society. A dog will always be an extension of its owner in human society. A child is a person. A dog is a dog. You were a child. You were never and never will be a dog. Ffs.

@SilverConvention

People have been brainwashed into keeping dogs. I think it's crazy. They cost a fortune. They stink. They are unhygienic. They are noisy. They are a bind. You have to pick up poo. Why do people fall for this???!!! If only people would really think about what they are doing, society would move on from this bizarre cult of dog worship.

Hmmm! You have never had the love of a dog have you?

You don’t sound like a useless owner. I love dogs but won’t be getting more dogs after this one, mainly because I can’t cope with them dying but they also cost a lot and limit what I can do.

I love our dog in the moment and day to day but do have a bit of a panic occasionally when I think she could be around another 10+ years - just as the kids are becoming more independent, we’ve taken on another being to care for and plan around! Fortunately we can’t afford foreign holidays so don’t feel like we’re missing out on that so much

Haha, In the dog cult so much that I’ve got a black Labrador lying on me now. They come in very useful when you’re feeling a bit cold.

Having a dog is a normal state for me and I’d feel a huge sense of loss without one. I’ve been self employed for years so have always been able to fit having them into my life, we’ve also got land so they have a pretty lovely life mooching about the place.

I do wonder about certain breeds though, reading what the post said above about lap dogs. That sounds like hard work, I know my labradors are incredibly easy and pleasant to be with. The kids love them too (probably more than they love me!).

I would definitely miss the company once they're all gone, but I think for me that doesn't outweigh the tie/'bad' things anymore.

My dc are almost grown and I guess I want my freedom back and I would like less work around the house as 6 dogs make a lot of mess and are a lot of work.
I have all 5 laying on me right now and a black lab laying as close as possible, with his head on my lap.
It's nice, but it can be suffocating and tbh, I'm fed up of always being covered in dog hair, lol, as our lab moults all year around really badly and no amount of brushing seems to make a difference.

The other 5 moult too, usually when the weather changes, so it's been a lot this summer, but it's still not to the same extent as the Lab as the other dogs normally moult for a few weeks at the change of each season (at least 2x per year, but at most 4x per year).
Well, unless stressed, in which case it just seems to fall out of them, lol. Eg, when getting claws cut.. (every 6-8 weeks), or going to the vet, driving in the car, etc.

Every day the 2 side tables near where our Lab lays/sits are literally covered in hair.

If I'm not well enough to hoover/clean every day, it honestly looks like it hasn't been done for months, but actually it's just been 1 day.

It's the never-ending-ness of it all that really gets to me, I guess.

I've had dogs for the past 14 years. They are like second children, I love them so much. However, it is a HUGE tie. When I think of all the missed opportunities or having to do things separately with our child because we don't have anyone to look after the dogs. Factoring in two daily walks come rain or shine.
I won't put them into kennels, they would hate the noise and the chaos. So we are limited to 1 holiday per year. If we didn't have dogs it would be considerably more!

I often think about when I lose the last one (we currently have 5) and will I get another? I've said I would like a few years dog free so I can be truly spontaneous but I know the house and my heart will feel so empty without one.

I adore dogs but like other posters will never have another. Children are genuinely far less expensive and less of a tie. A dog is a 14-20 year commitment to looking after a toddler. This was easier in my youth, but as I age I think that becoming a crazy cat lady is the way forward for me- because I can't face life without the love of any pets

People have been brainwashed into keeping dogs. I think it's crazy. They cost a fortune. They stink. They are unhygienic. They are noisy. They are a bind. You have to pick up poo. Why do people fall for this???!!! If only people would really think about what they are doing, society would move on from this bizarre cult of dog worship

I really don't understand this way of thinking.
I love my dog and I don't want another as I don't like dog ownership. That is all.
I am not in any shape or form a dog hater and I actually feel quite offended by this post.

I love and adore my dogs but I do wish we didn’t have them

I never get a moments peace and I always have to think about them when we go out.

Dh unfortunately can’t really live without a dog. He has severe anxiety and they help to alleviate that. When these two go, he wants another

I am technically eligible for a hearing dog (once my two have gone) so I could look at killing two birds with one stone.

Wouldn’t have to worry about leaving dog at home because it can come with me to all shops

@onlychildhamster

Not a dog owner but I always wondered what kind of people can keep dogs

There’s someone always at home here

I work 4-8 am
Dh works 4am- 12pm
Partner works 10am-6pm.

Yes, we are a throuple and all live together

@StressyWoman

You don’t sound like a useless owner. I love dogs but won’t be getting more dogs after this one, mainly because I can’t cope with them dying but they also cost a lot and limit what I can do.

Thank you. Yes I can't cope with it either i'm actually dreading when that time comes infact it really stresses me out.

Dh unfortunately can’t really live without a dog. He has severe anxiety and they help to alleviate that.

Complete opposite for me they cause me more anxiety.
Isnt it strange what dogs do for one person doesn't mean they will for another.

@SilverConvention

People have been brainwashed into keeping dogs. I think it's crazy. They cost a fortune. They stink. They are unhygienic. They are noisy. They are a bind. You have to pick up poo. Why do people fall for this???!!! If only people would really think about what they are doing, society would move on from this bizarre cult of dog worship.

What a strange post. So people don’t really want dogs, but they’ve been brainwashed into having them? By whom? Why? Who benefits from this? I do think to a fairly big extent that it is a trend, but it’s still a choice.

People may regret having a dog, people may not care for one adequately, and some loved their dogs but wouldn’t have another, but they’ve all freely chosen to get one.

I went the other way: no interest in dog ownership, but got one for unwell DD. I love him so much now! I walk for hours each day, and he’s so beautiful, intelligent and affectionate. Not one regret.

Very strange but everyone is different

It probably helps that one of my girls senses when dh is about to break and will go over to him and just sits on his knee and nudges his hand for fuss

This seems to break his mind because he then has to think about stroking the dog instead of what his mind was focusing on

It probably helps that one of my girls senses when dh is about to break and will go over to him and just sits on his knee and nudges his hand for fuss

That’s lovely. 😊

I also find having dogs helps my mental health, and actually I’d say we all seem to be happier since having dogs. Within a few month of getting a dog we both agreed we’d never be without one again if we can help it. We’d always had cats before.

@Soubriquet

Very strange but everyone is different

It probably helps that one of my girls senses when dh is about to break and will go over to him and just sits on his knee and nudges his hand for fuss

This seems to break his mind because he then has to think about stroking the dog instead of what his mind was focusing on

Same with my dog he senses I'm about to have a melt down and he's at my side trying to take my mind off it. I don't handle my emotions well and even before I've realised myslef my dog knows. Dogs feel everything they are so clever.

I love being a dog owner she makes me life better in every way. Gets me out on long walks, we do Canicross (running with dogs) together. She is the absolute best thing for my day to day mental health and things like holiday accommodation etc pale into insignificance compared to the benefits.

One of us has always wfh though so we’ve never had the worry of her being left alone in the day.

@thecatsabsentcojones

Haha, In the dog cult so much that I’ve got a black Labrador lying on me now. They come in very useful when you’re feeling a bit cold.

Having a dog is a normal state for me and I’d feel a huge sense of loss without one. I’ve been self employed for years so have always been able to fit having them into my life, we’ve also got land so they have a pretty lovely life mooching about the place.

I do wonder about certain breeds though, reading what the post said above about lap dogs. That sounds like hard work, I know my labradors are incredibly easy and pleasant to be with. The kids love them too (probably more than they love me!).

I think clingy little dogs are usually created by the way in which their owners raise them. I have two toy Poodles, my first small dogs. I have had many breeds over my life, mostly Rottweilers and Standard Poodles. When our last old girl (SP) was coming to the end of her life in 2014, DH and I decided we wouldn’t get another dog because we were both retired by then and thought it more sensible, allowing us to get out, about and away more spontaneously. After three weeks with no dog, we couldn’t bear the doggy shaped gap and got our first TP. We decided against getting another large breed in case we couldn’t meet their exercise needs over the years. Our small boys have been raised as proper dogs. They are expected to do as they are told and to have good manners. Lots of people get little breeds and treat them like babies, so they become neurotic nuisances.

I love dogs. I've always had dogs, well trained, biddable happy dogs. After the last one met his end I decided to not have another. A close relative bought me a puppy. Please never do this, it's a terrible idea to give a living being to another uninvited. So I now definitely have my last dog and, OP, I understand. This dog is small, needy, whingy, won't be left alone, is wary of everything and requires a lot of attention that I don't give willingly. I've never had such a needy dog and would never have chosen him. If he was my first dog I'd never have another.