At what age would you let your child travel independently to school by train?

[YouWereGr8InLittleMenstruators]

DC1 is about to start Y7. School is three train stops away; the journey involves a 15 min walk from home to the station, boarding the train, buying a ticket from the conductor (no machine on platform), a 10 minute walk from station to school through a busy urban city centre. DC1 is adamant it is too scary, DP thinks we need to insist DC1 does it, and I can see both sides, feeling that, at just turned 11, DC1 who is a shy and anxious child is likely to find it a bit overwhelming. I'm not aware of anyone else coming from our direction, but know lots of kids get driven in by parents. DC1 would have to wait approx 50 mins at the station for return train home in the afternoons.
At what age would you expect your DC to crack on with it and travel independently in similar circumstances using public transport? Would you encourage independent travel, or just suck it up and drive them?

@Kite22

Fairly important detail dripfed in there......

With or without that detail, I can't believe people are seriously suggesting accompanying the child there on public transport.
Having your Mum take you because it means you get a lift in a car is one thing, but please, please please don't consider accompanying them on the way to school at secondary unless you never want them to have friends (not just to the OP, but anyone making or reading that suggestion)

You stand back.

How will DC learn the journey if they are not doing the journey?

Kite, I'm not sure what information in my update counts as a "fairly important" drip feed? That she is a girl? It definitely wasn't my intention to withhold relevant detail.
I mentioned her SEN in response to a poster who asked why she was not attending a school closer to home; not because her particular SEN would necessarily impact her ability to travel on public transport.

I was an anxious child. Please don’t listen to anyone (including your DH) saying you should make her do it. It’s cruel and you are likely to create more problems.

Drive her to begin with. I would speak to the school and see if they can find out if there are other children in the school making the journey. She might feel more comfortable if she wasn’t on her own.

I would also see if she can wait at school in an evening (library/study) so she isn’t spending 50 mins waiting at a station. Sitting on a train platform in December will not be fun.

I’d be doing the school run at first and trying to establish if anyone else in her year/class lives locally and might potentially do the same journey. Your local authority may do a reduced price scheme for the journey to school by the way - and buying the tickets in advance from a bigger station that has a ticket office is a useful thing to do

Totally depends on all the variable!
My dd is nealry 14 and will be going on a short branch line train.

Her friends parents wouldn't let theirs.
I've taken dd on a trial run and I hope she feels comfortable to do it but I'm not forcing her (yet).

Trains with destinations ages away they could get stuck on etc I'm not sure

I oddly just had a glass back on my pictures of ds and my first trial for his bus journey to secondary school he was nervous. It became 2nd nature to him.

I woild do a few trial runs with him and then send him off it is the unfamiliarity thats the issue for most students

DC1 (also shy and anxious) did very similar journey from y7. We did several practice runs - and also practiced bus which took longer but in case trains not running. However, did most of it with child from primary the first few times - they weren’t really friends but got on ok. That child though did lots of extra curricular things and so first day DC1 had to come home alone led to lots of tears and “I can’t do it”. We had no option due to work so it had to happen and DC was fine and has been ever since. Seeing others on train in same uniform also helped and eventually got to know some of them. I would suggest practice runs before starts and maybe on first day do with them (after that they may get teased). Can they get season ticket so don’t need to buy daily (my DC would have hated that aspect)? Long wait coming home not great - do they allow them to stay at school eg in library to do homework for a while? Or make them take train in morning but pick them up?

DC2 goes to different school than DC1 so option was long walk or bus. He has severe anxiety so he chose long walk. Has a “friend” he meets on the way as he really hated idea of walking into school on his own. They used to be friends but aren’t anymore but as both anxious they prefer to walk together than alone. Any chance of even a vague acquaintance going same way?

Would be good idea to find out which bit of journey makes her most anxious and see if you can work on that with her or mitigate in some way?

I went to school by train. 15 minute walk first, then train then 7 mins walk the other end.
It was ok. There were other dcs going the same way so we tended to travel together.

Y7.
Loads of kids do it round here to get to the Catholic secondary.

Sorry, I didn't make clear that it seems fine because loads of kids do it. It feels almost like being in a school classroom on a wet playtime sometimes if you get the wrong train!

DD has SEN so although there was a marginally closer school, the one she will be attending was recommended by LA EP as particularly suitable for meeting her needs, and so was allocated.

This drip feed.
For an EP to be involved, and for a particular (further away) school to be recommended, there is obviously some significant SEND.

@RoseAndRose , I - along with other posters - said in the first place that I would expect to practice the journey long before we got to the start of school, and gradually build up the independence by going together, then perhaps going again, staying with them and let them take the lead, and then let them go off (perhaps with a friend) to practice the journey on their own, etc. But some posters have been suggesting "accompanying" the child as they tootle off to school. HUGE difference.
Obviously some pupils' journeys mean they need to be dropped off. Other people's parents will be passing on their way to work, and that's lovely. Some will just have anxious parents who want to drop them near school. All fine (though I do think they miss out on friendships if they don't travel to and from school with other pupils), but 'Mum walking me to the bus stop, getting on the bus with me' = social suicide.

We were in a very similar position to yourself (including SEN). Had to manage a change of trains as well. I was worried! What worked for us was lots of practise before term started, a weekly season ticket (which took away that worry) and using a bike to get to and from the station. Had lots of talks about different things that could happen and what to do if they did. Turned out that the train ride was the highlight of the day - met up with other Year 7s, used his pocket money to buy sweets on the platform (tsk!) and enjoyed the independence.

Flowers, yes, my gut feeling is that insisting is likely to exacerbate the anxiety. Your suggestion to see if there is a place to wait is good, I'll find out!
Monkey, the idea of finding out which particular leg of the journey is most worrying and mitigating is good. Thanks.
Kite, I assure you, and the EP would probably agree, DD's SEND is not impacting her ability to travel. The anxiety does. It really isn't a drip feed, the SEN is only relevant in terms of why she's going to this particular school.
Throttle 🤣 at the sweets!