At what age would you let your child travel independently to school by train?

[YouWereGr8InLittleMenstruators]

DC1 is about to start Y7. School is three train stops away; the journey involves a 15 min walk from home to the station, boarding the train, buying a ticket from the conductor (no machine on platform), a 10 minute walk from station to school through a busy urban city centre. DC1 is adamant it is too scary, DP thinks we need to insist DC1 does it, and I can see both sides, feeling that, at just turned 11, DC1 who is a shy and anxious child is likely to find it a bit overwhelming. I'm not aware of anyone else coming from our direction, but know lots of kids get driven in by parents. DC1 would have to wait approx 50 mins at the station for return train home in the afternoons.
At what age would you expect your DC to crack on with it and travel independently in similar circumstances using public transport? Would you encourage independent travel, or just suck it up and drive them?

That's what some of DD's school friends do. The train is often full with children to two secondary schools in our area.

They get used to it very quickly and there is also power in numbers, I am sure he won't be the only one.

I think we do our children a dis-favour in not teaching them how to do these things. Most secondary school children are far more embarrassed being dropped off at school, the days I take DD because I pass the lane anyway I have to stop in a decent distance :-)

Most here use the Summer holidays before Y7 to learn the route to school, which bus/train to take, how long the way is etc.

Can't you get a weekly ticket? I remember I could buy tickets for a week in advance so I didn't have to do it every morning.

Can you go with him for the first week or so until he gains confidence? Then walk him to the station for a while? It's very sudden to go from being walked to school to getting the train alone but he will get the hang of it. Agree about looking for an after school club instead of a 50 minute wait on the way back. Good luck

Year 7 is the right time. All my friends dc are starting secondary these next few days and are doing longer commutes in some cases usually involving a walk a bus / tram and a walk. 45 mins normally.

Can you do practice run or two with him? Explain what to do if he misses his stop. Show him how to use a transport app even?

I would be a bit concerned about the 50 min wait. The amount of homework they have at secondary school if mine took that long before even getting on the train they would have no time for their evening activities / clubs by the time homework was completed.

Is there a bus he could use for the journey home that wouldn't involve the wait?

When I was 11 and started secondary school, I had a mile walk to the station, two trains and a mile walk to school the other end. This was in west London. It was fine. I’m sure children today with mobile phones (rather than a 2p for the phone box) will be ok too.

Year 7 is completely normal and it's how the DC make friends.Once he has done it and seen all the other DC completing the journey it will become normal. I would suggest he practices with you meeting him at his destination and if possible that you track down someone who will be catching the train from your stop to travel with. It is part of growing up and being independent and 11 is plenty old enough. I know you don't have much time now but could he practice some other independent tasks eg doing some shopping, picking things up from dry cleaners, catching a bus and meeting a friend for example?

I see kids sometimes doing this in yr5 or 6, age 10+ basically.

@Chihuahuacat

Year 7. Around here (suburban Manchester ) the majority of kids travel in on their own via public transport. M Do a few practice trips with him to get Him used to it

This is a great idea. Do a few dry runs with them so it's less daunting.

The 50 min wait will be miserable, particularly in the winter.

Lots of children in my small town go to the high schools in the neighbouring town. For one school it’s a ten minute train journey, two stops and a 15 min walk. Lots of children do the journey from year 7. We bought a train pass Agnetha from the local authority. I often gave her a lift to the station though, otherwise a ten minute walk. But much better to buy a train pass so she doesn’t need to faff buying a ticket every day, and just shows her pass at the barrier.
The other school in the other town involved getting a bus at 7.50am which took 50 mins.

My ds started year 7 yesterday. He has a 10 minute walk to the bus then a 35 minute bus journey on an unreliable public bus, which stops just outside the school. Ds has only just turned 11 and is incredibly anxious and shy, so at the moment we are taking him in and picking him up. Once he is a bit more settled in school, he will start getting the bus home as that's the easier one as no worries about being late etc, then we will build up to him doing both journeys. He has been doing practice runs at the weekends, and we will go with him on the bus the first few times until he is happy. Hopefully by then he will recognise other students and have some friends also getting the bus.

Y7, they will end up with train friends with kids doing the same journey.

I did it from y7, had a 30 minute train and then a 1 minute bus ride. We all loved the journey.

Presume you'd buy a season/weekly/monthly ticket? I did a 15 min walk, few stops and walk to school from y7 but there were lots of other kids from other years that did it too, case of following the crowd once I was on the train.

Could you do some trial runs? What's the alternative? Is it viable?

My kids have all gone by train to school from the age of 11, though here that involves a huge group of kids from the same and other schools. Have you actually established if other kids get the train? Here, it's very rare for secondary kids to be driven to school.

You also wouldn't need them to buy a ticket every day, you would buy a season ticket online in advance which would be a) cheaper and b) easier.

It's understandable for you and dc to be nervous but it really will be fine and I'd be very surprised if there aren't other kids from the school on the train even if they don't get on at the same stop.

I assume you plan for them to have a phone? If so a) install Life360 so you can see where they are for piece of mind and b) they can get in touch if any problem.

I did it from 11. There were loads of us who did the same.

Mine did two stops on the train sometimes at eleven. It was safe, loads of people about and often other kids from his school. However generally dad was around to give lifts.

So many responses. Thanks everyone!
To clarify, it is a DD who has just turned 11.
DD has SEN so although there was a marginally closer school, the one she will be attending was recommended by LA EP as particularly suitable for meeting her needs, and so was allocated.
I can drive her, and it is a shortish drive of 15 mins, although she'll have to do a bit of waiting around as I'll have to drop her on my way to work, ditto on collection.
The 50 min wait at the train station is only because the end of the school day coincides with one train, so she'll have to wait for the next one, an hour later.
I hope that makes sense.
I think I'll drive her for now, and look into options for extracurricular activities for after school once term begins properly.
Thanks again!

We did several practice runs both to and from school at different times during the holidays, but it made her more worried!

There will likely be other kids on the train travelling to the same school on the same trains. At my school it was (and still is) a stream of schoolkids going to and from the train stations

no DC here but i remember my mum doing the journey with me a few times on a couple of different buses so I knew where I was going, how long it takes. My school was a bus ride and a bit of a walk away, by the time I started school, I was fine, but it can be a bit scary. Do the journey with him and get him used to it.

Sorry just RTFT

I'd drive whilst she is getting used to her new school, that alone can be quite daunting, and then see how it goes. It might be that there are some other children who get the same train and she is happy with that, or perhaps get the train in the morning and then be picked up in the evening, as has been said, 50 minutes everyday after a tiring day at school and in the cold or rain sometimes won't be fun.

I think you've made the right decision, after seeing your update.

Fairly important detail dripfed in there......

With or without that detail, I can't believe people are seriously suggesting accompanying the child there on public transport.
Having your Mum take you because it means you get a lift in a car is one thing, but please, please please don't consider accompanying them on the way to school at secondary unless you never want them to have friends (not just to the OP, but anyone making or reading that suggestion)