My son is being bullied and I’m asking the bully to be moved class

[User090]

Is this unreasonable?

My son has started school after the summer holidays 2 weeks ago. We aren’t in England so our schools go back a little early. He is 9 and is in a composite class with 10 children in his age group and 20 of the other age group.

There is another class which has all of his age group. My son had 2 friends which left the school last year. Since then he’s been on the outskirts of a large friend group but has one friend in particular within this group and is in his class.

Also within this group is a boy who has continually picked on my son. In May I spoke to the head teacher as my son was choked for absolutely no reason by this boy in the playground. I emailed the head teacher who then called me and the boy was removed feom the school and warned.

The very next day my son was told to shut up otherwise he would be choked again.

The summer holidays started and all was well. My son started back school and came home everyday with minor tales on this boy, things like the boy telling him he can’t stand there go to the back of the line, drawing on his work, nipping his hand etc.

The other day I got a call feom the head teacher telling me there was an incident in class and my son was head butted. I said who was it? The head teacher said “I can’t really tell you”. I said was it ? (The known bully).

The head teacher totally down played the situation and said the boy is usually lovely and he just had an off moment. I went to meet the head teacher with the list of incidents that happened since starting school.

She recognised it was bullying. The boys mother came for a meeting. The head teacher suggested my son was moved into the other class. I said no as my sons only friend is in his class and rather the bully should move.

The head teacher said she would discuss with his parent and the other boy but the boy doesn’t want to move class.

My son says he’s nervous and worried as he didn’t expect it to happen. When I collected my son he had an ice pack and still had a red bump on his head.

I have a meeting tomorrow and want to insist the boy is removed as I don’t feel my son is safe given the head butt happened in a classroom.

Is this likely to happen or what are my options?

His personal issues are irrelevant and do not trump your sons right to be safe at school.

Push the issue. I would tell her, the boy moves class or she personally guarantees your sons safety as the next time anything happens to him you will be involving the police. Being strangled is a serious offence and the age of criminal responsibility is 10.

Sometimes you have to go nuclear before the school will deal with an issue.

I kept getting cornered by an older boy at school who kept undoing my bra through the back of my shirt and telling me he and the other boys would rape me because he thought it was funny to see me scared. The headteacher was far too soft on him as boys will be boys and it eventually got resolved by my dad waiting outside the school, grabbing him by the throat and telling him if he ever came near me again he'd beat the tar out of him and any further mentions of rape, he'd rip his cock off.

I'm not advocating violence you understand, just saying that sometimes you have to make it clear that either they deal with it or you will and they might not like how you do that.

When I read the title I first thought yabu. After reading the full thread I do agree with you and would agree the bully should move class. I am a teacher and bullying is not tolerated. If you would like to see action you need to threaten the school with a call to OFSTED as it can warrant an inspection if the school aren't safeguarding their children. If this is the 2nd violent incident and you have also documented the rest of what is going on then you have more than enough evidence to prove your child isn't being safeguarded against this particular pupil and the headteacher suggesting wait and see I disgusting. I do believe the school has shown its true colours and would also suggest moving schools if possible.

I think it would Education Scotland rather than Ofsted.

OP, I’d throw everything at this. Chase the head up with getting the bully moved groups. I would also go to the police about the two assaults and mention the school’s inadequate response and then finally go to the GP about your son’s twitch/tic.

I think I’d be tempted to contact the school governors as well with all of your evidence and then explain you have absolutely no confidence in this head’s ability. Even before academic provision, a pupil’s well-being and safety has to be paramount. The wait and see approach is inadequate and the head not fit to do the job.

Sorry just seen you don’t have governors. Instead, contact the council. Do this anyway, why should the head be allowed to keep their inability to take the correct action to keep your son safe a secret?

Every parent should sign a charter when their child starts school to say that they agree if their child is violent to another child they will be instantly expelled.

It might make parents more concerned about ensuring their child doesn’t become a bully or a violent thug.

I know that’s going to be fraught with ifs and buts but I don’t even know the op or their child but the thought of him being head butted is upsetting to read.

I never encountered any bullying and neither did my own children who are long grown up but I read on here and in the media the most atrocious stories of bullying and it’s just awful.

When I was a child you knew to behave at school so as not to shame your parents or suffer a punishment. The same with my children.

What has gone wrong that so many children are being violent and very little is being done to protect the victims?

YANBU

I wonder if she didn’t want to move the bully in with his mates in the other class as they’d be a pack and even worse?

If that’s the case he should be out altogether.