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Original poster

Would you judge a fellow mum using an electric wheelchair?

88 replies

WhenShallIShare · 02/09/2021 19:56

So I use a Powerchair / electric wheelchair for anything more than a couple of mins walking as I have several things wrong with me meaning I get fatigued easily and am prone to fainting.

Anyway, my daughter has her first session at school coming up in which parents are invited to stay for the first 2hrs to get to know teacher, keyworker, lay of the land etc

I’m having a bit of a panic because I’d been planning on us walking (daughter walking, me wheeling on my chair) to school (it’s half a mile but that’s too far for me to walk) but now I’m panicking because I fear I’ll be judged for being disabled. And obviously I’m v v aware of first impressions and all that! The only other option is us driving, there’s a small car park and walking up to the school from there (I’d be able to manage that but not sure how much standing around I’d be able to do).

Basically what I’m asking is, would you judge a fellow mum at the first day of school using an electric wheelchair / Powerchair??

OP posts:
DrunkenKoala · 02/09/2021 21:01

God no. We have a couple of mum’s who use electric wheelchairs and no one bats an eyelid.

If any events have happened in the classroom both staff and other parents have happily moved furniture to make access easier.

SorenLorensonsInvisibleFriend · 02/09/2021 21:19

Generally, my view of parenting is 'whatever it takes to do the best for my children', so I'd assume - as I do with every mum I see! - that you were doing whatever it took to make things work and be mentally high fiving you for overcoming an obvious challenge.

Also, anyone who would think dickish things about mobility scooters or electric wheelchairs or walking sticks or any mobility aid are quite definitely not people whose opinions I'd give any value to. They're unikely to have faced any real adversity so probably have zero resilience, as well.

Penny31 · 02/09/2021 21:33

Honestly I wouldn’t think twice either OP! I feel sad that you feel you have to think twice.
Get on your wheels and take your daughter to school - she will love it, my daughter hates it when I drive her. She much prefers the walk. Enjoy her first day without worrying what others think. The other parents will be like this lovely lot on the thread and not be batting an eyelid.

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General health
Blueleah · 02/09/2021 21:35

Why would I judge someone for having a disability? It’s shocking if anyone would do that tbh.

whiskersonkittenss · 02/09/2021 21:42

Ahh op I know how you feel. I'm 33 and so scared to use my stick in public. I don't need it all the time either. I feel like people will judge me for not needing it constant. Also feel strange using a disabled car space even though I have a blue badge. Sad

Echobelly · 02/09/2021 21:45

I hate how the poisonous atmosphere created by this government and the gutter press has made people like you feel, OP - it's just disgusting. I think a lot of people, though, do know someone who has a fluctuating condition, or who can walk a little but not too far and they do understand.

DustyMaiden · 02/09/2021 21:47

No absolutely not. Anyone that would can do one.

HotPenguin · 02/09/2021 21:49

No way will people judge you, unless they are complete dicks, but you might get a few kids asking for a ride!

WhensomeonementionsMN · 02/09/2021 21:50

Not at all, I have a family member who sometimes needs a wheelchair, she’s also made the comment that people assume you have no mobility at all and are shocked when she gets up and walks around 🙈.

PurpleSproutingSomething · 02/09/2021 21:56

The chairs can be really small in EYFS, even our adult chairs are very low down.
If you need a standard chair, please don't be afraid to ask for one, don't struggle on those tiny chairs, they make my hips and legs ache.

HerRoyalRisesAgain · 02/09/2021 21:57

I use a range of mobility aids depending on the day/my pain levels/my flare ups.
I usually use a rollator (a walking frame on wheels)
But also have crutches (easier to get in and out of cars)
A wheelchair (for when I'm struggling and have someone to push me)
And a mobility scooter (when I'm struggling but alone)

No one has ever judged me for being disabled, either at the school or in the general public.

My children's school have also made arrangements for me to drop off and collect the children from the main office instead of the doors. The doors are around the back of the school and is further away for me to get to than the main office, so to make it easier I drop them at the office and they are taken to class by a receptionist, then they are brought back to the office by their teacher/TA at home time.

If anyone did judge you that's a reflection on them not you. That would be them being complete dicks and nothing to do with you

PieceOfString · 02/09/2021 22:02

Definitely no judging here. My favourite mum at the school gate at ds's old school was in a power chair, she was my favourite cos she had a wicked sense of humour and didn't judge others, and was an awesome tiger mum whose dinky dc was so well loved and supported by her... The chair was the least important thing about her.

PieceOfString · 02/09/2021 22:04

Definitely waking to school is great, my dc have always had better days when they've walked cos it gives them chance to really wake up and feel ready, gets the blood moving and a chance to natter.

UnitedRoad · 02/09/2021 22:07

Of course no I’ve will judge you.

My daughters year one teacher was in a wheelchair and she showed the children how her (I presume lower) leg came off. My daughter was quite shaken up, so I judged the teacher a little bit for that

UnitedRoad · 02/09/2021 22:08

No one will judge you I mean.

Feel free to judge my typing. I’ll blame my phone, but it’s probably my own fault

Zampa · 02/09/2021 22:13

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

Judge? No. Never. But with my knowledge of Reception classrooms, you might struggle to maneuvere it around as there won't be much space. Or indeed, being able to get it into the classroom if its an older building.
My daughter (6 years old) is in a wheelchair and the school have ensured that there's plenty of space for her to manoeuvre in the class room, although appreciate they've had notice.

OP - I'd give the school a heads up so they can make reasonable adjustments to accommodate your chair.

Iliketeaagain · 02/09/2021 22:17

Any adult who judges is a wanker, and will let you know who to avoid in future. (And if my dd was in the same class, I'd be avoiding them too)

Honestly, I think one thing you might need to prep for is kids asking you why you have chair - not because they judge, but because they are nosy and aren't totally au fait what is an acceptable question at reception age, and you might just find it easier if you had a simple answer ready rather than being caught off guard.

MojoJojo71 · 02/09/2021 22:18

Not at all. I understand your concerns but you shouldn’t feel that you need to push your body too hard to prove anything you there. My brother is a part time wheelchair user, some days he walks with a stick but then often he pushes himself too far and the next day can’t walk at all or sometimes can’t even get out of bed. I don’t know why some people can’t get their head around the fact that wheelchair users aren’t all completely paralysed.

MojoJojo71 · 02/09/2021 22:19

*to prove anything to others

gogohm · 02/09/2021 22:24

Judge no, but ensure the school knows so they can ensure you have access

Chillyjellytotty · 02/09/2021 22:24

No I wouldn’t judge. Around our school I would be impressed you managed to get there (and maybe sneakily follow you to find the best route) as I struggle with the pram as inconsiderate ass holes park on the pavements Angry

womaninatightspot · 02/09/2021 22:26

No one would judge you unless you'd shoved out a disabled person and were joyriding in the corridors..

Blue4YOU · 02/09/2021 22:32

Hi OP
My daughter is about to start school and she uses a wheelchair. I’m 46 and probably will end up in one from the physical aches I currently have. I absolutely think you shouldn’t worry and that people don’t think as much about it as you think they might (and as, possibly, they ought to).
You are a great mum.
Legs, chair, special blades for running to school.. no different really. You are a mum. And a darn good one!

Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 02/09/2021 22:34

I wouldn't think anything of it . Maybe just check I wasnt in your way but that would be it
I was going to say the same as a pp that it's like the children who will ask questions but if you have a dd going into school you will be used to that

Dd was walking along some gardens alongside someone in a wheelchair and kept looking over and eventually pointed and I was bracing myself for something not very tactful and she just said in awe "those wheels are cool look" as the wheelchair had these patterned covers over the wheels (not sure what they are called but like on sports bikes)

Maybeyesno · 02/09/2021 22:36

I used a mobility scooter for the school run, never had any negative comments.
I was concerned about my dc being embarrassed however this was not the case ds friends were quite the opposite asking how fast I could go etc. Dd friends just saw it as normal after a while. The school had no issues with me using it.
Mums were occasionally embarrassed that their toddlers would run up and press the buttons/touch the wheels but because I was OK with it it was never a big issue.
I did help my dc with how to answer other dcs questions so they sort of had a few stock phrases to turn too, which was essentially good when I wasn't around /at first however it soon became normal and questions didn't happen as often.
Hope all goes well with the settling in and soon it will be normal practice.