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Original poster

Massive spiders that have no business existing.

115 replies

CaptainMarvelous · 31/08/2021 22:33

Anyone else noticed a sudden influx of the bastards? Was just on my knees emptying the washing machine when one the size of a mouse I swear appeared from underneath the machine. Fecking bastard. I need to burn the utility room now don't I? Are they taking over? They are bloody everywhere at the moment.

OP posts:
ew1990 · 01/09/2021 00:41

@lellochip ahh I'm in the North West so a bit far,

I'm trying my hardest for DDs, I don't want them to be like me, they just make me sweat and shake

OhGiveUp · 01/09/2021 00:48

Also the UK Brighterblighter

lilmishap · 01/09/2021 00:51

Tiny spider got a moth in its web in the bathroom. Moth totally gone the next day Not a tiny spider anymore

I am weeing and pooing faster than any human should be able

Snugglybuggly · 01/09/2021 00:52

Should be a warning about that photo

tigerbear · 01/09/2021 00:55

Hate the massive spiders, but I raise you the goddamn stag beetle! Seriously, just Google images of them. Fucking HIDEOUS things - massive! I had the misfortune of actually standing on one in bare feet, on my bedroom floor! 😩
Then, a week later, my poor DD ran crying into my room at about 2am, saying she could hear something in her room - ran in, and there was another of the fuckers!
Supposed to be v rare, but we had two of them Sad

SpacePotato · 01/09/2021 00:55

I was sat on loo the other night and one of the big hairy fuckers came out from under the cupboard opposite and ran at my feet.

Luckily I had a glass in reaching distance and caught it before it could get me. It looked pissed off when it was evicted out of the house.

Whirlywooo · 01/09/2021 00:57

It's coming up to big house spider time. Those buggers run at you, not away from you. Is it me or are they getting bigger each year? Once I was brave enough to do the glass and card thing on a house spider (needed a pint glass, it was that big), lovingly deposited it outside, to see it do a sharp 180 degree turn and run back into the house via an air brick. Fecker.

Genuine questions - has anyone ever seen the big house spiders eating a fly? Has anyone ever seen the big spindly ones with little bodies eating the house spiders, which they allegedly do? I haven't seen either.

Anon778833 · 01/09/2021 00:58

I used to be terrified of them but these days I'm a lot better. I still don't like them. The other day a huge one scuttled under my sofa. 2 days later I found the poor thing, mauled to death by our cats.

Kwackerly · 01/09/2021 03:35

My first spider of autumn arrived yesterday, on my neck. I was minding my own business in bed and felt it. Not a huge hairy fucker, more of a pea on thin legs - still unpleasant. Now I cannot enjoy laying in bed and keep switching the light on in case it's returned Sad

Spiders should not get into beds, IMHO

BunnytheFriendlyDragon · 01/09/2021 06:41

FFS. Grow up. You are 1000 times the size of them. Either leave them alone or gentle put them outside.

Maybe you should read what a phobia is. Nothing to do with age or relative size.

FreeBritnee · 01/09/2021 06:44

I also can’t get worked up about spiders. Put a glass over them, slide cardboard underneath and take them outside. Why people persist on threatening to burn houses down over it I’ve no idea!

PomRuns · 01/09/2021 06:53

Because phobias are irrational…..

Anyone tried CBT? I think can be very effective.

Iwanttobeapaperbackwriter · 01/09/2021 06:57

How do cellar spiders overpower house spiders?

FreeBritnee · 01/09/2021 06:59

I don’t believe all the people on these threads are phobic. Phobias are not that commonplace. They just don’t like the look of them.

LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow · 01/09/2021 07:06

dh caught the bigger brother of @Eeiliethya 's the other day....I was so horrified I did not even ask where he found it.

we seem to attract a GIANT type of spider in this house....had one that faced down one of my 7 stone GSDs . I had shrieked in horror as I heard it galloping through the dining room, dog came to save me, took one look and fecked off back to the sitting room.

Also get a lot of these on our narrowboat, I NEVER get into bed without a full bed check, I did once because dh had gone to bed before me, and some bloody Aragog-a-like tried to take me out by racing up the duvet . That was an unfortunate end to dh's early night!

PomRuns · 01/09/2021 07:06

Well it’s not up to you to decide how people feel @FreeBritnee or what you ‘believe’ is irrelevant.

ZoyaTheDestroyer · 01/09/2021 07:08

@Iwanttobeapaperbackwriter

How do cellar spiders overpower house spiders?
They catch them in their webs. I’ve seen it, once.
gerispringer · 01/09/2021 07:16

If you have a genuine phobia it has been learned from childhood, Your mum probably feared spiders. You will probably be passing on the same fear to your children. It is not a fear that you have to live with or “can’t help”. Maybe if this is a phobia that is affecting your ability to live a normal life you need to get some effective therapy. Yes you know spiders are useful in the insect ecosystem, are loads smaller than you and have more to fear from you than you have from them, and so on. Someone mentioned London Zoos programme , which hopefully they will still be running post Covid. It is excellent.

drinkingwineoutofamug · 01/09/2021 07:19

Genuine questions - has anyone ever seen the big house spiders eating a fly? Has anyone ever seen the big spindly ones with little bodies eating the house spiders, which they allegedly do? I haven't seen either.

A huge spider shot out from a gap in the fireplace and was wrestling a bee on the carpet.
Bee lost
Next was a wood louse , the wood louse won.
Spider met its maker by the dog 'playing'
Legs everywhere

lastqueenofscotland · 01/09/2021 07:21

@Sarahlou63

FFS. Grow up. You are 1000 times the size of them. Either leave them alone or gentle put them outside.

“She asks me to kill the spider.
Instead, I get the most
peaceful weapons I can find.

I take a cup and a napkin.
I catch the spider, put it outside
and allow it to walk away.

If I am ever caught in the wrong place
at the wrong time, just being alive
and not bothering anyone,

I hope I am greeted
with the same kind
of mercy.”

― Rudy Francisco, Helium

ODFOD I have a genuine phobia of them. I am aware I am bigger than them. I am aware they can’t hurt me, the sight of a big house spider is enough to make me feel light headed and panicked.
Stillfunny · 01/09/2021 07:25

Would post a picture but would freak every body out. Huge one in bathroom sink , threw it out the window. Last night saw it on the wall outside . It is trying to get back in I think
Natural way to get rid ? Put conkers near where you see them coming from. DD tried this and claims it works

JohnStonesMissus · 01/09/2021 07:32

September is always spider month, the temperatures dip a bit so they seek the indoors, plus it's the mating season.

AlrightThereSkippy · 01/09/2021 07:43

"I have a genuine phobia of them.
I am aware I am bigger than them. I am aware they can’t hurt me, the sight of a big house spider is enough to make me feel light headed and panicked"

Also, I'm billions of times bigger than viruses but I'm still scared of some of them. Also scorpions, poisonous snakes etc etc. Me being bigger than something doesn't mean I shouldn't have any fear of them. I'm bigger (definitely taller anyway) than a rottweiler, but I'm scared of those too.

It's very normal to be scared of spiders as it's instinctive. You can't really rationalise it unfortunately...no matter how many mansplainy, patronising poems anyone posts.

And before anyone says they're totally harmless, a friend of mine in London was bitten this year and lost a huge chunk of his flesh. Sorry to freak everyone out, but "they're harmless" isn't actually true. And also, the fear is instinctive, because the spiders here which won't kill anyone, look, at first glance and to an untrained non expert, much like other spiders which will.

Their once was a deadly spider
Who lived overseas, a good hider
It hid in a box
Of men's trainer socks
And jumped out and hid in my sliders

So, you see. Poem. Argument won, I think you'll find....ahem.

sanityisamyth · 01/09/2021 07:45

@Sarahlou63

FFS. Grow up. You are 1000 times the size of them. Either leave them alone or gentle put them outside.

“She asks me to kill the spider.
Instead, I get the most
peaceful weapons I can find.

I take a cup and a napkin.
I catch the spider, put it outside
and allow it to walk away.

If I am ever caught in the wrong place
at the wrong time, just being alive
and not bothering anyone,

I hope I am greeted
with the same kind
of mercy.”

― Rudy Francisco, Helium

I love this. Can't abide people who kill animals just because they've ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time.

TheyAreMinerals · 01/09/2021 07:47

I've had one in my bathroom every day lately. Hanging in the crack between mirror and cupboard, in the bathtub (haha, cant get out), on the leg of my trousers as I was putting them on. You better believe I shake out every item of clothing before I put it on.

Ugh