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Original poster

Mixed sleepovers

69 replies

isop · 31/08/2021 06:45

I'm curious as to how people would feel about their nine year old DC's having a sleepover for a birthday with a mix of boys and girls.

Are they at the age where this is a no or still young enough for it not to be an issue?

DS is keen but I don't want to invite if parents would feel uncomfortable (as has been suggested by a friend).

OP posts:
Marni83 · 31/08/2021 06:48

No.

Firstly I think far too young for big sleepovers anyway (but I do recognise I’m maybe in the minority!). Most will be 8 if you’re run turning 9 in September.

And no to mixed. A big fat no to a big sleepover.

Marni83 · 31/08/2021 06:49

I have never heard of a big sleepover for a birthday celebration at such a young age
And certainly not mixed

Perhaps fact you will never have heard of it either tells you what you need to know

Original poster
isop · 31/08/2021 06:51

It's not a big sleep over, just four. They are popular here although it's not my idea of fun I must say!

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

9 year olds Families
Marni83 · 31/08/2021 06:55

3 of the 4 will be 8.
That’s so young!

You asked OP. And my answer. Absolute no. Just one over. It will be so overwhelming I suspect for some

Marni83 · 31/08/2021 06:55

Take all four to the cinema and then Macdonald afterwards. They’ll all enjoy much more, trust me!

Marni83 · 31/08/2021 06:56

Or bowling
An activity
Something fun

SophiesMummySaid · 31/08/2021 06:57

We did a big mixed sleepover at age 10 - didn’t occur to me people would find it inappropriate, no one did.

Original poster
isop · 31/08/2021 07:00

Thanks @SophiesMummySaid didn't occur to me either by til friend said something.

OP posts:
FawnFrenchieMum · 31/08/2021 07:01

My DD had a sleep over for her 9th birthday as did a few of her friends so not unusual here. Ours wasn’t mixed though. I don’t think they are are enough for it to be an issue, she just doesn’t have enough close boy friends to consider inviting them. If the kids were genuinely close friends day to day I doubt anyone would think it’s strange.

Original poster
isop · 31/08/2021 07:05

DS is a gentle soul and 90% of his friends are girls. He just prefers their company and enjoys their play. Would be one other boy, three girls.

OP posts:
MajesticElephant · 31/08/2021 07:09

Big no from me. The reality is some girls start their periods from the age of 8 so where there is any possibility of pregnancy, no matter how accidental, then it would be irresponsible as adults to allow that situation to happen.

Retrievemysanity · 31/08/2021 07:13

Sleepovers at that age are usual for birthdays where I live although I have to say, I hate them! The mixed thing wouldn’t be an issue for me at primary where they are good friends.

stepupandbecounted · 31/08/2021 07:18

No, we haven't encouraged mixed sleepovers.

Plumedenom · 31/08/2021 07:19

Still really young! We are going on a long weekend, three mums and six 9-12 year olds and they are all sleeping in bunks in the same room for sure! The 12 year olds are a "young" 12 ifswim. I think at that age it depends but at 9 they are very much children still.

HungryHippo11 · 31/08/2021 07:20

I wouldn't have a problem with it at that age (but then I probably wouldn't have a problem at any age as long as my kids were trustworthy and I knew the parents and trusted that they would be there supervising.

WaterBottle123 · 31/08/2021 07:20

@MajesticElephant

Big no from me. The reality is some girls start their periods from the age of 8 so where there is any possibility of pregnancy, no matter how accidental, then it would be irresponsible as adults to allow that situation to happen.
@MajesticElephant

I think you need to take a breath, your post is insane. They're NINE. I'm actually hoping you're trolling as this is such a disturbing thing to write.

OP - My kids had that number of friends to sleepover at that age and yes, the sleepovers were mixed. Amazingly no one ended up pregnant or psychologically scarred because, well, they're children sleeping in a room, as opposed to drug fuelled orgy.

Mumsnet is weird sometimes

alrightfella · 31/08/2021 07:20

I would have been fine with it at that age.

HungryHippo11 · 31/08/2021 07:22

@MajesticElephant

Big no from me. The reality is some girls start their periods from the age of 8 so where there is any possibility of pregnancy, no matter how accidental, then it would be irresponsible as adults to allow that situation to happen.
Come on, really? Why would 8 year olds have set at a sleepover? If 8 year olds were going to have sex (they aren't btw) then it could happen any time. Why does them being together in a room at night time make it any more worrying than being in a room together during the day?
stepupandbecounted · 31/08/2021 07:22

In our school it was not unusual for some of the children to start dating in year six, so mixed sleepovers are setting a precedent that is not a problem now but may be in a few years time, and quicker than you think. It also may make other parents uncomfortable, and put them in a difficult position.

EveryoneIsUnique · 31/08/2021 07:23

My kids have been to mixed sleepovers and big sleepovers, but in my experience always best to have a equal number. You can always ask parents before you ask kids

Insertfunnyname · 31/08/2021 07:24

Some really surprising answers!

Sleepovers are really popular where we are (small island so maybe a tighter community?)

I’d have no problem with a mixed sleepover at this age!

HungryHippo11 · 31/08/2021 07:24

@stepupandbecounted
"Dating" is year 6 isn't actually dating though it is.

And even if it was, what do you expect to happen in a room full of all of their friends

Indoctro · 31/08/2021 07:25

My son has had sleep over parties since 5 years old it's the norm around here.

I don't think I would have mixed ones though after aged 8 personally and if I was hosting I just would have single sexed ones.

EmeraldGreenVelvet · 31/08/2021 07:28

I wouldn't have a problem with it as if sounds like they're all kids who know and like each other and play together regularly.
Only you OP knows the children, their relationship and their parents. You're best places to make the decision as to it being ok or not.

stepupandbecounted · 31/08/2021 07:28

I would say the dating we have seen in year six, is absolutely dating.

It wouldn't be my choice for my dc, knowing what I do. Children experiment sexually much earlier than most parents are comfortable with. Put it that way.

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