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Original poster

We are in a lovely holiday cottage and we keep breaking things. Is anyone else as clumsy as us?

139 replies

Mollythewally · 30/08/2021 20:12

Day 1: Dog swished his tail and knocked a glass of red wine up the immaculate pastel coloured matt walls.

Day 2: I smashed a wine glass that can only be sourced in the states (I googled) to try to find a replacement myself.

Day 3: The swing bin lid is broken. I'm not entirely sure this was us but there is an inventory at change over and no mention of this so I assume it's our fault.

Day 4: Dog creates a 'viewing window' in one of those tow along bike trailer things. He hasn't chewed it, just rested his head as we were cycling and ripped a hole in the (fairly insubstantial) lining.

I have ADHD and am exceptionally clumsy and used to paying the ADHD tax for all the things I cock up but this holiday has been something else. We've got 5 more days, what will we break next?

OP posts:
BlueCookieMonster · 30/08/2021 20:55

Also, surely if you were in the holiday cottage business you would fill it with stuff from IKEA, Amazon and Tesco’s and call it good.

PL15namechange · 30/08/2021 21:01

This sounds like you rented a death trap!

It was a bit, but it was cheap Grin

Original poster
Mollythewally · 30/08/2021 21:02

@PL15namechange

This sounds like you rented a death trap!

It was a bit, but it was cheap Grin

I once rented a bunkhouse with friends and kids on the same basis. Oh jesus...
OP posts:
JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue · 30/08/2021 21:04

@Octavia64

My family are exactly like this. The first thing I do when we arrive at a holiday cottage is collect up all the breakables that are in shelves, tables etc, and put them away in a high place. Even then we usually break something. (And pay, obviously).
We have an autistic son who is interested in everything and then, after five seconds, loses interest and drops them to the floor. On arrival at any holiday home, breakables are relocated to high shelves and unreachable cupboards!
godmum56 · 30/08/2021 21:05

@PL15namechange

I once went on a holiday with a large group of friends. This is massively outing if any of them see this!

We arrived, with a car full of shopping and one member of the group who desperately needed the loo. So she runs upstairs and we open the fridge. All the glass shelves and plastic door baskets fall out of the fridge as we open the door. Miraculously only one door shelf is cracked. None of them had been put back on properly, just stuffed in and the door shut quickly - why would none do that?!

Having sorted that disaster out we realise we can hear banging from upstairs. One of the group goes up and realises the friend that needed the loo is trapped in the bathroom. Luckily the door opens inwards so a shoulder barge from outside frees her.

One of the group is a builder - the door handle / latch has been installed wrong so it never completely retracts into the door and the wood architrave around the door is sticking out. Not a good combination. The door handle gets reinstalled and the architrave planed back with a carving knife!

3rd member of the group bringing 'tools' (contents of cutlery drawer) to builder friend manages to pull 4 spindles out of the stairway.

Shower is fitted with a cup hook holding the shower head. When you turn on the water it sprays directly into the electric extractor fan.

Bannister on the top floor 'family room' recommended for children is secured the floor with 2 screws. The whole thing is about 12 ft long, friend leans on it and nearly falls down the stairs, bannister and all.

Garden furniture is provided, lots of white plastic patio chairs. It's quite old and must have gone quite brittle in the sun. Much wine is drunk in the evenings, and one friend has a habit of leaning back suddenly and heavily. Over the course of a week he breaks no less than 4 chairs by leaning back and snapping the back legs off!

We spent the first day in a hardware store trying to mime the things we needed to make the property safe and repair / replace the random broken items.

The last day was spent trying to find a shop that sold white plastic patio furniture!

We have had the dog friendly holiday where the field to let your dog off the leads in was fenced with barbed wire with sheep in the next field....that was along with the settee that was the kind where the arm and the legs are a complete panel. DH sat down on it and found that it was only balanced on the legs on that end and he ended up on the floor.....ended up shopping for wood glue....then there was the very expensive christmas holiday rental where the bed leg was broken and the bed was balanced on it...and yet again the wood glue. After that we took it on every holiday with us.
TractorAndHeadphones · 30/08/2021 21:07

Not in a holiday cottage but I've smashed two of our house wineglasses just by squeezing them too hard and am known for breaking door handles.
I am now overly cautious and get told off for not being able to open doors Blush

I rarely break other things at home by the simple method of not having any :) if we had pretty potted plants, crystal or similar I'd forever be kncoking them off surfaces...

Original poster
Mollythewally · 30/08/2021 21:09

Do you not think that the people who broke the sofa balanced it before they left rather than your DH breaking it? I think that may have been what happened with the swing bin lid here. You can balance it on so it looks functional but once you put rubbish in and disturb it the panel falls off. I think we'd have noticed if we snapped it ourselves. But we are so used to clearing up after our own carnage we just don't know and have replaced it anyway

OP posts:
Original poster
Mollythewally · 30/08/2021 21:11

@TractorAndHeadphones

Not in a holiday cottage but I've smashed two of our house wineglasses just by squeezing them too hard and am known for breaking door handles. I am now overly cautious and get told off for not being able to open doors Blush

I rarely break other things at home by the simple method of not having any :) if we had pretty potted plants, crystal or similar I'd forever be kncoking them off surfaces...

I can relate so much to this.

I invested in hugely expensive glasses for home that are made of unbreakable plastic but look like glass. It was genuinely cheaper than buying a new box of glasses every week.

OP posts:
Boredhimtodeath · 30/08/2021 21:13

I have seen my mum put a cup of coffee down in thin air more times than I can remember. And she is still perfectly capable of walking into the door frame in the home she's lived in for more than thirty years

This sounds like me 100%! When we go away my partner moves the danger items, he does it as a joke in front of our friends that we go with and we all laugh…. But if he didn’t I would probably have an accident.

For example, he moved the dining table and benches towards the wall and backed up to the sofa and joked I would have the corner seat so I would have the wall and sofa surrounding me. I sat in a different seat once and fell off the bench backwards pulling the table cloth, my plate and a vase with me. Another time he rolled up a rug so I wouldn’t trip over it, my friend put it back out not realising it was moved on purpose, I tripped straight over it and cracked the fancy glass table with the guest book on.

frumpety · 30/08/2021 21:14

We are currently in a holiday cottage that we hired last year, the end of the sofa came away and this year, same sofa, I have banished everyone from sitting at that end. I gave it a little nudge this morning to see if it had been fixed and it seems more robust but I am not taking any chances !

MulanIsChinese · 30/08/2021 21:15

I completely get the ADHD tax! I don't break things but I forget them all the bloody time! I had to shell out £60 the other week for emergency clothes in Sainsbury's for the DC because I had literally walked out without my lovingly packed suitcase! Twat!

Original poster
Mollythewally · 30/08/2021 21:15

@Boredhimtodeath

I have seen my mum put a cup of coffee down in thin air more times than I can remember. And she is still perfectly capable of walking into the door frame in the home she's lived in for more than thirty years

This sounds like me 100%! When we go away my partner moves the danger items, he does it as a joke in front of our friends that we go with and we all laugh…. But if he didn’t I would probably have an accident.

For example, he moved the dining table and benches towards the wall and backed up to the sofa and joked I would have the corner seat so I would have the wall and sofa surrounding me. I sat in a different seat once and fell off the bench backwards pulling the table cloth, my plate and a vase with me. Another time he rolled up a rug so I wouldn’t trip over it, my friend put it back out not realising it was moved on purpose, I tripped straight over it and cracked the fancy glass table with the guest book on.

Ahhhhh. I love you.
OP posts:
godmum56 · 30/08/2021 21:15

@Mollythewally

Do you not think that the people who broke the sofa balanced it before they left rather than your DH breaking it? I think that may have been what happened with the swing bin lid here. You can balance it on so it looks functional but once you put rubbish in and disturb it the panel falls off. I think we'd have noticed if we snapped it ourselves. But we are so used to clearing up after our own carnage we just don't know and have replaced it anyway

Yes absolutely and not the previous renter either...you know how wood looks fresh when its just been snapped? well this was worn and dusty....and the bed leg in the second rental? you know how they have s screw in stud that screws the leg to the bed base? no sign of any stud and no evidence that it had ever been repaired with glue either.
hellcatspangle · 30/08/2021 21:16

I once made DH traipse all around a holiday town with me looking for a cereal bowl to replace one I'd broken in a holiday cottage. I was convinced they'd keep my entire deposit.

Lalliella · 30/08/2021 21:16

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Original poster
Mollythewally · 30/08/2021 21:16

@frumpety

We are currently in a holiday cottage that we hired last year, the end of the sofa came away and this year, same sofa, I have banished everyone from sitting at that end. I gave it a little nudge this morning to see if it had been fixed and it seems more robust but I am not taking any chances !
This is so wise!
OP posts:
Mollythewally · 30/08/2021 21:17

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Handsnotwands · 30/08/2021 21:18

I live in a house of dyspraxia. Dyspraccidents happen about 4 times a day. Like a previous poster I go around moving fragile stuff if we’re in an unfamiliar place.

Mariell · 30/08/2021 21:19
Grin
Original poster
Mollythewally · 30/08/2021 21:19

godmum56 that's infuriating.

OP posts:
Seasidemumma77 · 30/08/2021 21:19

I have dyspraxia, always breaking things and injuring myself. It's a running joke when I go out for coffee with friends that I'm not allowed to carry trays of drinks.

Boredhimtodeath · 30/08/2021 21:22

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SpaceBethSmith · 30/08/2021 21:22

We have no glasses in our house now due to ADHD tax. We all use Klean Kanteens. They also have lids, so no extra cleaning for me either Grin

We stayed in an AirBnB recently and I took them with us Blush There was no way I was changing it.

Spent a week at my Dads… He had already moved anything valuable or breakable out of my way!

UnGoogled · 30/08/2021 21:23

@MulanIsChinese

I completely get the ADHD tax! I don't break things but I forget them all the bloody time! I had to shell out £60 the other week for emergency clothes in Sainsbury's for the DC because I had literally walked out without my lovingly packed suitcase! Twat!
Literally me, earlier this summer. Confused
SpaceBethSmith · 30/08/2021 21:25

To add - my Dad is in a new house and I repeatedly walked into doors, frames, tripped up the stairs, banged my head on cupboards, kept getting my dressing gown belt stuck on door handles (because I’m a short arse).

I’m a constant source of amusement to him and my DCs.