What are your “Rules For Life?”

[Topia]

I’ve got Jordan B Peterson’s book “12 Rules For Life,” & some resonate, others not so much. But it got me thinking - everyone has a set of rules they adhere to, whether subconsciously or consciously. What are your “Rules For Life?” Mine;

Simplify simplify simplify. Otherwise I get stressed & don’t enjoy what I’m doing.

Keep out of other people’s business as it doesn’t enrich your life to be nosey/interfering & others don’t appreciate a busybody.

Save money.

Sacrifice today for tomorrow - in other words work hard now, reap the benefits later.

Show your kids affection & love. Everything else comes second, or can right itself in time.

Own your decisions.

And lastly, don’t sacrifice real life for work. Work is important but it shouldn’t trump your happiness, or your desire to do the things that you will regret not doing when you’re older.

What about others?

The only real thing that matters in life is family and friends. Make an effort to see people and spend time with them.

Those are great rules, @Helocariad.

Say yes more often. Be open to new adventures.
Be flexible in your outlook. Things aren’t always black and white.
Be generous. You have more than most.
Take time for prayer, reflection or moments of gratitude.
Tell those close to you that you love them.
Move more.
Commit to public service: community work, helping in your neighbourhood, volunteer work.

[quote Topia]@Helocariad

You’ve selectively chosen quotes to fit your agenda. He is actually very supportive of women; he’s also said “husbands - never turn your wife into a maid,” and he acknowledges the weakness of men to turn readily towards violence & anger. Some of what you’ve quoted above could be seen to represent a open dialogue of male failings.

I think he is also talking about the inherent natural differences between men/women here in terms of their biological programming. Hence the comments about not being able to change that; as certain traits between the sexes do exist and are played out in their behaviour[/quote]
If you really think he’s supportive of women you are seriously deluded. All the selected quotations are not based on any facts at all apart from his misogynistic perspective and his very plausibility makes him dangerous. All that stuff about masculinity and femininity is not only hogwash but dangerous hogwash.

Never criticise, condem, or complain..... difficult to do but pays dividends if you can control yourself and think of alternatives.

There are people who will do their best (and some are extremely good) to ruin your life if you say anything against them.

Always believe in yourself…
Do not allow others to influence your mindset. Sometimes people pigeon hole others and sometimes they deliberately want to influence. Ignore them, or prove them wrong.

Failiure is not the end of the world…But fear of failiure can stop you doing things that you may really enjoy, or may change your life.

We all learn from failiure, it makes us stronger. What seems like a massive thing at the time disappears in the perspective of life as we get older and hopefully wiser.

Be good, be kind, be forgiving.

Don’t get involved with getting people back and fighting dirty just because people have done or said bad things about you. It will change your personality and the way you think in a bad way.

Be the person you want to be and do not be the person you do not want to be.

Thanks @AlfonsoTheMango!
I agree, @Musmerian - why does he feel the need to link abstract concepts like 'order' or 'chaos' to sex and gender?

@BlueFairiesinthesky Never criticise, condem, or complain..... difficult to do but pays dividends if you can control yourself and think of alternatives. I agree that it's better to be positive than negative but how far do you go in this? Are you saying you never complain about anything to anyone? How do you assert yourself then or stand up for others? How do you call out unacceptable behaviour or express an opinion on a dire situation e.g. Afghanistan if you won't allow yourself to criticise the actions of, in this case, the Taliban?

@Helocariad the truth is I don’t always, it’s an aspiration and has stopped me from doing too much complaining/ judging/ condemnation recently. It’s based on an ancient set of ‘rules for life’ from the stoic thinkers (Seneca, Aurelius). When implemented, you are more likely to get respect from others and won’t attract the treatment which causes you to act in this way and you will learn lessons to avoid situations in future.

It really does work the more you practice it. Concepts we all know and struggle to follow... such as ‘kill them with kindness’, ‘turn the other cheek’ ‘chalk it up to experience’ ‘keep your powder dry’ all work. Often blowing your top doesn’t work. Not all the time of course, but the more you practice these behaviours, you will see the rewards.

If you want to complain...stop and think about what you’re going to achieve vs what you’ve got to lose. On a case by case basis. Its it worth the effort or stress? How will it feel to get justice? What benefits will you get? Of course it’s worth making a complaint if health is at threat eg. delayed diagnosis of medical condition. But perhaps you can practice other forms of complaint that aren’t combative for less serious behaviour, such as removing your future custom or labour, not leaving a review, not recommending a service to friends.

I wasn’t that happy with my carpenter. He was slow and I felt dragged his feet to finish the job to get more money, plus he left small things undone (DH did them). We didn’t complain and withhold money because it would have caused a lot of grief, effort, difficult conversations, he could have got nasty, possibly taken us to small court claim.

What we did instead is not recommend him when asked by F&F. We have given new carpentry work to his competitors. I love the saying “the obstacle is the way” and as such, he showed me how to better contract trades... what questions to ask...what to look out for...not to always trust someone’s word... how to purchase materials with transparency... so actually he did me a massive favour. I probably ‘lost’ £600 but that was cheap for the life lessons I learnt from him!

[quote BlueFairiesinthesky]@Helocariad the truth is I don’t always, it’s an aspiration and has stopped me from doing too much complaining/ judging/ condemnation recently. It’s based on an ancient set of ‘rules for life’ from the stoic thinkers (Seneca, Aurelius). When implemented, you are more likely to get respect from others and won’t attract the treatment which causes you to act in this way and you will learn lessons to avoid situations in future.

It really does work the more you practice it. Concepts we all know and struggle to follow... such as ‘kill them with kindness’, ‘turn the other cheek’ ‘chalk it up to experience’ ‘keep your powder dry’ all work. Often blowing your top doesn’t work. Not all the time of course, but the more you practice these behaviours, you will see the rewards.

If you want to complain...stop and think about what you’re going to achieve vs what you’ve got to lose. On a case by case basis. Its it worth the effort or stress? How will it feel to get justice? What benefits will you get? Of course it’s worth making a complaint if health is at threat eg. delayed diagnosis of medical condition. But perhaps you can practice other forms of complaint that aren’t combative for less serious behaviour, such as removing your future custom or labour, not leaving a review, not recommending a service to friends.

I wasn’t that happy with my carpenter. He was slow and I felt dragged his feet to finish the job to get more money, plus he left small things undone (DH did them). We didn’t complain and withhold money because it would have caused a lot of grief, effort, difficult conversations, he could have got nasty, possibly taken us to small court claim.

What we did instead is not recommend him when asked by F&F. We have given new carpentry work to his competitors. I love the saying “the obstacle is the way” and as such, he showed me how to better contract trades... what questions to ask...what to look out for...not to always trust someone’s word... how to purchase materials with transparency... so actually he did me a massive favour. I probably ‘lost’ £600 but that was cheap for the life lessons I learnt from him![/quote]
What a great way to look at life!

I agree, thanks for explaining @BlueFairiesinthesky!