Would it be hasty to throw in the towel if we don’t have sex this weekend?

[Freesssh]

5 months in me and DP hadnt had sex. It really bothered me and I told him this. He said he wanted sex but he was stressed with work, now it had become ‘a thing’ and he just needed a bit of time. For context he’s 42 and the last time he had sex he was 34.

I haven’t been happy about this but as work stress has lessened, we’ve been a lot more active in the bedroom. It’s almost like it’s leading up to sex again. I feel like if it doesn’t happen next time we see each other then that’s it for me, but would that be hasty? He said himself last time after a lot of intimacy and oral that he felt we were moving forwards with it all. He’s a bit reclusive and quiet so this isn’t an out of character observation for him to make even though it probably sounds strange to most people.

I love him. Would it be hasty to throw in the towel if we don’t have sex this weekend?

No YWNBU to break up with him if it doesn't happen, like, now. I would have done so months ago.

General rule, if a relationship requires a lot of "management" and patience and Mumsnet posts only a few months in, it probably doesn't have legs.

I’m sure Boris Johnson is very busy but think about how often...

... actually, let’s not think about that!

I used to go out with someone too tired/busy etc. A waste of a year for me.

I find the fact that you have to have so many conversations about it kind of strange. Sex should just be a natural progression in a relationship, and usually sooner rather than later. There's being respectful and waiting a little while...and then there's using every excuse there is to put it off....

Something doesn’t ring true about his responses. I’d be concerned he was addicted to sex workers or had some unusual kink or something and is getting satisfaction elsewhere if he seems functional sexually and you’re sure he’s hetero.

But regardless of the sex thing he sounds like a shit prospect tbh, too busy and wrapped up in his work, shy and reclusive, a huge worrier. Not somebody I would find appealing as a partner anyway.

Sex should just be a natural progression in a relationship, and usually sooner rather than later

Op mentioned something happen earlier on in the relationship but doesn't mention if it was piv or oral. Maybe he's embarrassed to try again if it was piv.

He has no libido. Its not unheard of

He needs viagra or counselling or something

@milkyawayday

He has no libido. Its not unheard of

He needs viagra or counselling or something

Have you actually read the OPs posts? He clearly has libido.

Even if he does manage to fuck you this weekend that doesn't mean you'll have a normal sex life after!
This is way too much

There’s definitely nothing weird going on with him not being able come during sex

@Freesssh how do you know this if you haven't had intercourse?

I’m sorry OP bit this isn’t going to get better. You may have sex eventually but I can promise you this won’t be the start of a brilliant spontaneous sex life, I don’t know how old he is but I’ve been where you are and it doesn’t get better. Run before it’s too late

My DP is nearly 50, he would have sex all day every day if he could, that’s more normal in a newish relationship, what you are experiencing os a man who just isn’t into it

Any updates op? Getting your leg over this weekend?

@SukonthaM you do have a way with words!

OP in answer to your question, not hasty I think if you end the relationship.

@SukonthaM

Any updates op? Getting your leg over this weekend?

The length of time you've waited is the opposite of hasty! I'd try to get sort this by the end of the Bank Holiday or throw in the towel. You've waited long enough and may never get to the bottom of the real issue