ALERT for MNers in the UK: Ear defenders at the ready!

[EffYouSeeKaye]

Dh has just selected a Braeburn from the fruit bowl. Incoming ridiculously loud biting noises followed by excessive nose-breathing on repeat for much longer than you would expect it to take anyone to eat a small apple…

Anyone else feel randomly murderous at times like these? 😬

Just me then . I’m on the other side of the room chopping veg. Sharp knife twitching in my hand.

He’s moved in to a yogurt now anyway. Scrape. Scrape.

Haha! I've not experienced the loud apple crunching, it's the plate scraping at the end of every dinner that really bothers me.... Screeeeeeech! Screech screech screeeeeeech!

No, it's every cup of coffee. It is imperative that they must be vigorously stirred, hitting the cup at every opportunity, using a soup spoon.

My DP, to save water on rinsing pots, wipes his finger round yoghurt pots when he finishes.
He also mouth breathes wholes eating which goes through me like a knife.

Dh was snoring so loudly last night I could hear him in the living room.

Fortunately I’m a bit hard of hearing, so I don’t generally hear the crunching and scraping any more.

I used to work with a friend who wore a watch with a rotating bezel. When he was reading docs etc he used to sit and click it round and round……. Used to drive me crazy, but he was a mate, so I used to chuck something small at him - a paper clip etc. he’d apologize then start again 5 mins later.

Ha! But can he make loud cracking crunching sounds that reverberate out of his whole (massive) head while eating - raspberries?

Oh dear, I suspect I'm one of these annoying noisy people. I munch away, unaware (until now) of the irritation of others. If I disappear from MN, you will know that my DH has finally snapped...

I was in between my FIL and DD during lunch the other day. They are very noisy chewers. It's amazing we got through the meal without some kind of violent incident.

Don't worry, OP, I couldn't hear anything over the noise of my teenager eating cereal 😡

Ah, welcome fellow sufferers. Help yourselves to earplugs and gin.

The noise and duration just beggar belief. @candycane222 raspberries!! Hats off, managing to crack and crunch a soft fruit is another level of Oral Twat.

I’m also a bit deaf @Sewaccidentprone but for this I have bat ears. There’s no bloody justice.

My DS cracks his knuckles. It's horrific.

I feel your pain op! My dh eats them for late night snacking. Obviously, points for being healthy but that loud crunching and slurping is amplified a hundredfold late at night. The self control I need to not murder him is quite impressive.

Luckily I live alone (well share a flat). I have sat down sucking on an iced R Whites lemonade thing making a shocking noise and was just thinking to myself that it is just as well I am on my own!!! I make a shocking noise in coffee shops if I have a cool drink and suck through a straw. I think even little kids are aghast! I am weaning myself off drinking straws because of vanity (don't want the 'smokers' marks around my lips.

Yes @InterstellarDrifter, it is louder at night. Why is that? I actually can’t be around him when it’s crisps. Unbearable.

Things I have tried that alleviate the agony:

• Putting the radio on.
• Start eating something myself. I like this option.
• Plotting his slow and silent death.

Haha yes EffYouSee I had to ask what he was eating. It was the raspberry seeds apparently Now we are in blackberry season, it's even louder 😭