My mum just died

[Kitkatchunkyplease]

She died about 11pm. I can't sleep. I can't believe this has happened. I've never really posted on mumsnet quite like this, but I'm lying in bed and it feels like the longest night. I don't know whether to keep trying to sleep or give up and get up.

I'm so sorry.

I lost my Mum in 2017. Just to say there are no rules. Just do what feels best at the time to help get through each day.

@Lockdownbear

How are you now? That must have been physically and emotionally draining to call her friends.

There is definitely a wave of stuff to do that carrys you along for the first few days. Gives you something to actually think about.

I worry about my dad. My mum always worried about everyone and I feel its transferred to me.

I keep having moments like 'I will never call anyone mum again' or 'I will never hear her voice'. When I was a child we used to dance round the house together and annoy my dad. We kept doing it well until I was an adult.

I got about 6 hours sleep last night so there is progress

@Kitkatchunkyplease I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mum sounds wonderful, you are very lucky to have had her.

Just take things easy and do only what you must or want to. This is the busy time with planning, and your head will be spinning. It's after that you need support. Once the funeral is over, the shock of the 'new normal' can hit you.

Lastly. Don't rush back to work. you need to process this. It's a long journey, so no point in running at the start.💐

I'm glad you got more sleep last night.

I know what you mean I worry about people who are widowed such a hard adjustment to make after being with someone for years to suddenly be alone.

I'm assuming your Dad is retired but reasonably fit. Is he the sort to do volunteering, or has hobbies, things that will get him out the house on a daily basis?
Will he still want to care for your LO?

The people we live are never truly gone. They shape us in such a way that they live on in us , making us the people we are. Quieten your mind from time to time and you’ll hear her in your heart, guiding you as she always has

This is so lovely and true.

Condolences, OP.

I keep having moments like 'I will never call anyone mum again' or 'I will never hear her voice'. When I was a child we used to dance round the house together and annoy my dad. We kept doing it well until I was an adult
She'll turn up in your dreams, never be far away. It really is like they're just behind a curtain.
Thank you for sharing about the dancing. I love that.
My mum is gone seven years and I still find myself thinking 'I must go up to see mum, haven't spoken to her for ages!' Then I remember, but it doesn't make me sad, just happy that she's still somehow in my life.

Sorry for your loss