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Original poster

How soon is too soon to leave this mum meet up?

63 replies

dancygnik · 18/08/2021 09:58

Sat with 4 other mums, no ones talking to me and it's really awkward. I want to leave. We are sat in a field and it's raining.
How quickly can I get away without it appearing too soon?

OP posts:
ShowMeHow · 18/08/2021 10:02

Oh no I think you left the iron on? Best pop home and sort ASAP. 😜

Usual2usual · 18/08/2021 10:03

if its raining just say 'oh I'm soaked through just going to head back' or something similar.

TwinkleTwinkle11 · 18/08/2021 10:04

Raining is enough to leave!
'We're going to shoot now see yous later'

SmokedPaprikaHotChilliPowder · 18/08/2021 10:05

Oh I hate that feeling. Could you text a friend/partner/parent/sibling and get them to call you so you can pretend there is something you've forgotten? I often forget the time my online shop is due ...

Bert2e · 18/08/2021 10:14

Maybe noone is talking to you because you are on your phone and not engaging with the conversation?

LagneyandCasey · 18/08/2021 10:17

Do you have dc with you? If they're having fun, stick it out. If it's just you and mums I would just make your excuses and leave.

PumpkinKlNG · 18/08/2021 10:18

Are you talking to them?

Brollypackedforscottishholiday · 18/08/2021 10:19

Keep off your phone!!.

Reallybadidea · 18/08/2021 10:20

Are you talking to them and trying to get involved in the conversation? If not, then try and make an effort and if you are but being ignored then just leave.

choli · 18/08/2021 10:20

@Bert2e

Maybe noone is talking to you because you are on your phone and not engaging with the conversation?
Spot on...
Galassia · 18/08/2021 10:22

Why do you feel the need to answer to a group of people that have no interest in you? You’re an adult.

Just go. Call out Bye if you really feel the need.

Herecomesthesun70 · 18/08/2021 10:23

What are doing sitting in a field. Is it a play date?

Floralnomad · 18/08/2021 10:29

If you don’t like them and don’t want to be there then just say you are leaving , if you do want to be friends and do like them make a bit more effort to get involved .

SoupDragon · 18/08/2021 10:33

You say no one is talking to you but are you making any effort to join in?

IncessantNameChanger · 18/08/2021 10:43

If you have been on your phone a lot then it's not conducive to communicating with those around you.

You have to chip into the conversation, look interested etc. I arranged a coffee date with the school mums at end of term. One of which was butting in while I was talking constantly "incessant how is your son?" She would start talking on my third word of my reply.

I still smiled nodded and said the odd comment in the general convo. Not that I would want to repeat the experience, if I had said nothing I dont think there would have been a next time.

It's hard but you have to make a show of effort when you feel excluded. That's the only way to break into the conversation

Cocogreen · 18/08/2021 10:49

Put your phone away!
I wouldn't talk to you either if you're more interested in your phone.

hiplip · 18/08/2021 11:00

Tell them you have to return some videotapes.

Original poster
dancygnik · 18/08/2021 15:01

I picked my phone up in desperation in the last few minutes of being there.
I tried to engage but was ignored so left and said bye, was ignored by all but one.
Won't be going again, I wonder why some people are so rude, I left and cried in the car on the way home.

OP posts:
MrsTumbletap · 18/08/2021 15:09

What are your conversation skills like?

Have you asked them how they are? How work is going? Where did you get your daughters shoes? They are lovely.
Anyone going away this year? Anyone been to that new restaurant in town?

Have you asked questions and shown you are interested?

Or have you just sat there expecting them to ask you things. Conversation works both ways.

FenceSplinters · 18/08/2021 15:11

Oh I’ve been there. It leaves you feeling completely looked down on.

alicewasahorse · 18/08/2021 15:12

They sound rude and sounds like they could've made an effort to include you. I've tried mum groups before, some worked and some didn't! Don't let it upset you. Thanks

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 18/08/2021 15:28

That sounds awful. Ive been in a few situations like that and put it down to the people im with just not being 'my tribe'. Was it the first time you've met them?

Galassia · 18/08/2021 15:31

Who went to the trouble of inviting you?

Sounds like you turned it into a self pity party by not joining in and expecting them to give you attention simply for sitting there.

cannotchange · 18/08/2021 15:35

I've been there very recently, a large group of mums at an after school picnic, didn't even get eye contact let alone a hello. Felt like an absolute piece of crap, clearly not rich and
glamorous enough for the private school parents scene !

Things is my DD is in year 5, I'm not there to make BFF but thought someone may have made polite conversation with me while my DD was with her friend. I cried when I got home too. People can be real superficial shits !!!!

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 18/08/2021 15:40

@Galassia

Who went to the trouble of inviting you?

Sounds like you turned it into a self pity party by not joining in and expecting them to give you attention simply for sitting there.

Oh come on! Have you never been in a similar situation? Dont be so horrible.
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