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Original poster

How soon is too soon to leave this mum meet up?

63 replies

dancygnik · 18/08/2021 09:58

Sat with 4 other mums, no ones talking to me and it's really awkward. I want to leave. We are sat in a field and it's raining.
How quickly can I get away without it appearing too soon?

OP posts:
TwinkleTwinkle11 · 18/08/2021 15:48

Ah I'm sorry op!
It's an awful situation to be in.
How did you meet these mums? From a group?

Kite22 · 18/08/2021 16:01

Why were you sat in a field in the rain?

Galassia · 18/08/2021 16:03

No of course I have never been in that kind of situation.

Sunshine1235 · 18/08/2021 16:04

I always remember going to a church baby group once and the lady bringing me into the room and saying ‘let me introduce you to the best group of mums you’ll ever meet’ or something like that.

They proceeded to mostly ignore me for the next 90 mins 😂

Sorry this happened OP, pick yourself up and try again somewhere else. Some groups are just weird

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 18/08/2021 16:04

@Galassia

No of course I have never been in that kind of situation.
Ok. So you cant really relate then can you? Whats the point in giving advice?
Original poster
dancygnik · 18/08/2021 16:10

Thanks everyone (except @Galassia - I think you were one of the other women!)

It's made me upset to be honest especially after trying to battle with a toddler all morning trying to get there.
I'm always interested in others and ask questions, I tried but was ignored so 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Staffy1 · 18/08/2021 16:15

Ah, I know the feeling unfortunately. These days I am old enough to not worry about how to make an exit, I just would. Who needs to be made to feel like that? Some people are incredibly rude and unkind.

Nocutenamesleft · 18/08/2021 16:28

My husband says I can hold W conversation in an empty room

So let me know if you need any pointers. I can literally go into a whole room of people I don’t know and find out most about them by the end of the evening.

Though I’m probably just super fucking annoying. But it works! I get invited back. Somehow!

WitchBaby · 18/08/2021 16:28

Don't give it another thought, OP Thanks
Onwards and upwards.

Parentingdilemmas · 18/08/2021 16:29

Who arranged this meet up?

PatchworkElmer · 18/08/2021 16:33

Oh no. Were they friends, or people you hadn’t met before? I had an awful experience at a children’s centre of a group of 3 mums turning up to a mum and baby session (just me and them there) and completely ignoring me. They seemed annoyed I was there- I suspect they normally had the session to themselves.

Grimacingfrog · 18/08/2021 16:34

I find this kind of thing so weird. What kind of kick do people get from blanking someone who's trying to be friendly.

At least you know you don't have to bother with them again.

It's not you it's them. There are definitely nicer people out there.

Kite22 · 18/08/2021 16:42

Not sure why people are picking on Galassia, tbh, especially as so many others have also suggested you get off your phone and make an effort (before you changed the story in your second post). She's not wrong, on the information you have given.

So - as has been asked already - why were you sitting in a field in the rain?
Who are the group of people?
What is your connection ?
What was the activity?

It is such an odd selection of information you put in your OP.

WTF475878237NC · 18/08/2021 16:48

But someone invited you so presumably there was one mutual interest to talk about?

pickingdaisies · 18/08/2021 16:54

Sod the lot of them, OP. Nasty mares.

Bluntness100 · 18/08/2021 17:01

Ok so you were all sat in a field in the rain, you asked questions of the group and they all just looked at you and then didn’t respond?

That’s really weird.

SpeckledlyHen · 18/08/2021 17:03

@pickingdaisies

Sod the lot of them, OP. Nasty mares.
To be honest we don't know whether that's true do we? There has only been one version of the story which sounds a bit odd. Even if no one was talking it seems odd to pick up a phone and go onto Mumsnet - that would not be my first thought - I would try and engage and strike up a conversation rather than going to the phone as a default.
SunshineCake · 18/08/2021 17:08

I remember going to a mums house, we were all from an aqua natal group and our babies were a few months old. I ended up sat on the floor which wasn't great as then felt out of it. I stayed as long as I could face and then decided I just needed to go and my feelings were more relevant. Got in the car, cried which wasn't like me and drove home. The ladies were all mostly lovely but I was struggling. So @dancygnik I really feel for you.

randomlyLostInWales · 18/08/2021 17:09

I went to many toddler/baby groups and some were like this.

I used to focus on my child/children many times someone new would join and want to talk but sometimes it just wasn't worth going back.

aerosocks · 18/08/2021 17:11

Heck of a lot of victim blaming the OP on here.

ChipButties · 18/08/2021 17:13

@dancygnik

I picked my phone up in desperation in the last few minutes of being there. I tried to engage but was ignored so left and said bye, was ignored by all but one. Won't be going again, I wonder why some people are so rude, I left and cried in the car on the way home.
Oh I’ve been here. And I left. But did go back and it got better, I only kept going for my DCs sake. It makes you feel rubbish, especially with little ones, life is hard, and lonely, enough. Those women are bitches, fuck em.
TheWayTheLightFalls · 18/08/2021 17:14

Fuck them. I’m still battling to understand why this was all happening in the middle of a rainy field but really, if not one person had the decency to see you on your own and go over for a chat, they aren’t worth your time. Yes, even when you’re all sleep-deprived rah rah rah. It’s the easiest thing in the world, striking up a convo at this stage - how old is s/he? I love that jumper etc.

themuttsnutts · 18/08/2021 17:19

@randomlyLostInWales so have I. I don't get it but it happens and the harder I tried, the more irritated they got and this was before smartphones. Best to cut your losses

Dogoodfeelgood · 18/08/2021 17:19

I had this done to me once too, completely ignored to the point they stood up and left me sitting alone. Years later that group is really friendly with me and always wanting to hang out and the meanest girl has turned completely lovely and is so helpful in my life. I assumed I was rejected because I wasn’t good enough but it was obviously just their stand offishness or lack of social grace at the time. Saying this so you don’t assume they’re even necessarily looking down on you, they’re probably just a bit crap but given time and or a different setting could become friends x

Branleuse · 18/08/2021 17:21

they sound odd. I think if id started to feel uncomfortable and like I wasnt having a good time, id have got up and said "right, lovely to meet you guys, but i need to be getting home now, see you another time" but obviously have no intention of ever trying to socialise with them again