As I get older I like my own company more and doing things with other people less!

[Chloeblue]

I'm mid 40s and until now I felt like I had to have lots of friends, should enjoy doing things in big groups, should enjoy parties, should be more outgoing, when in actual fact I'm an introvert and love my own company, have always, but felt I should push myself. For a long time I walked and hiked in a big group, whereas now I know I enjoy nothing more than a peaceful walk by myself, the same with socialising, I can't be bothered anymore with big parties, get-togethers. I'm so happy I've finally seen the light and can just be me! I think the ending of my five year relationship six months ago has reinforced this. I'd love to hear from others who feel the same.

Imagine my joy at getting back to work today and finding not one, not two, but THREE overnight, enforced work ‘jollies’ tagged onto regional meetings. Hotels and meals and laser-fucking-quest, bowling and building stupid rafts….and ‘won’t we all have a lovely time’.

I can’t decline. It’s compulsory unless you want to be labelled killjoy. For a company who ‘embraces neurodiversity’ why is it okay for someone to not want to do this is if it makes them clinically anxious, but if it’s just not ‘me’ it makes me a misery guts.

I prefer my own company, or short bursts of chosen company. Not that shit.

I have known I am an introvert since I was 16.

When i was married I had to go to big get togethers which I hated.

Now I dont which is a huge relief. I dont get much time on my own as one of my teen dc has sn and other complex needs. But when I do the relief is amazing and I love being at home on my own or a solitary walk or pootle round the shops etc.

As I divorced before I was 50 i luckily escaped a big surprise party that my ex would have planned to show everyone what a 'great' dh he thought he was. (He did one for my 40th and it was the last thing I wanted and he went round telling everyone how he had kept it a secret and singing his own praises. All through the party I just wanted to be at home. I hate drawing attention to myself like that immensely. And my exh knew that I hate parties etc but did it anyway).

A day trip somewhere historical would have suited me fine with close family.

Me too! I like to do the occasional meet up with people but only if I don't have to stay too long.

I cycle and run on my own. Walk the dogs on my own. My job is 99% sat on my own and I'm quite happy that way.

DH often asks if he should get a bike so we can go together, but I always say no.

I enjoy my own company, I don't really even like being with my DH or DS ... I have a very busy, sociable customer facing job which I genuinely enjoy but when I get home I want to be totally on my own. It's been a real pain having my DH WFH for so long ... and he's due to retire soon . I am currently on holiday at my DB's house & he is a real loner so we barely talk to each other - it's bliss. I can totally do social chit chat, make friends easily etc etc - but am perfectly happy on my own. My idea of a perfect holiday would be a week or two on my own in a lovely apartment.

God yes

Hell is other folk (or something like that)

Yes me too, have been thinking about getting a dog, and then I will get one of those signs which says 'the more time I spend with people, the more I like my dog' - I used to think that was the saddest thing imaginable, but now I totally get it.

If I was not vegetarian, I would take up fishing, I see them sat in the river on those special stools, no one speaking to them for an entire day. Looks fooking amazing!

I'm mid thirties and right there with ya bro!

Im in my mid 70s and dont really want to know about other people, except for a few very close friends and relations.

All my life Ive worked in customer or client facing roles and I am now sick of kowtowing to other people, so I dont any more. I have never enjoyed large parties, crowds, being in groups and so on. Ive always enjoyed my own company and have traveled to many countries alone, including countries like Syria, Egypt and Morocco.

I have my own agenda of things I want to do with my time and deeply resent any interruption to my schedule. Unless I have an appointment or Im expecting a parcel I dont open the door. On certain days my nephews come to see me. Im always glad to welcome them but equally glad when they leave.

There is an old saying - welcome the coming, sped the parting guest.

That sums up my feelings.

Most people aren't worth knowing. They're either vile (narcissistic, spiteful, nosy, users, etc), or nice enough but boring.

Which category do you fall into @Kris02?

Ive never been an extrovert, but lockdown showed me how pointless much of the activity that we all engage in really is. To my surprise, I didn’t miss going out for meals or coffee, or any of the other thingsI had been doing before. The peace and quiet and lack of pressure was liberating. I started cooking much more interesting food and relishing the small things.
As I get older I find other people increasingly draining.

Oh god I needed this thread...currently trapped on hol in a beautiful place with a friend who will not stop talking and will only go on walks 'if they have trip adviser reviews' ... I've taken to waking up at 5 so I can at least have coffee in peace. I actually love people...lots of people, but each one for a maximum of three hours.....

I do agree with this, I'm so much happier doing my own thing. I'm now in my early 50s and so maybe it is an age thing, although I have always been an introvert. I do sometimes go to parties but I find them tiring and need time to myself afterwards.

I do think it is still a good idea to spend some time with other people rather than being a hermit. As others have said joining a local group or volunteering in some way is probably more healthy for us in the long run.

I'm loving these responses! As other posters also said I'm not shy, have a quiet personality. As I previously said, my relationship ending six months ago made me realise I wasn't totally myself in it, I always felt I had to be 'on' as he was more extrovert, louder, drank a lot more than me and loved a good party. It's so liberating to just be 'me' from now on and not be doing things I don't want to do because I felt I should. Now, I'm off to read my book!!

@ThymeafterThyme

Most people aren't worth knowing. They're either vile (narcissistic, spiteful, nosy, users, etc), or nice enough but boring.

Which category do you fall into @Kris02?

Thanks for proving my point Thyme

Don’t worry @Hardbackwriter, we do socialise and have lots of people round (and to stay) and make sure the DCs do too! However I can see a future when they are all flown the nest when we install some sort of portcullis 😂😂

Love my own company, spent Sunday by myself, lunch, shopping, cinema & a nice walk. No need to take anybody else into account!

Can I join the party too? Just about everything you've all said resonates so strongly with me. I like company in small doses - no more than 2 hours for a 1-1 and I love having a looming weekend where nothing is in the diary.

I'm very happy being with my partner and cat, being at home and pottering.

36, happiest when it's just me and the dog!

49 here and confident in myself to say I have this life sussed and I am doing it my way on my terms , I do not wish to conform or fit in. I have nothing to prove and I like me, I am happiest at home with nothing to prove to anyone and not having to listen to anyone elses dramas, especially the one up manship rubbish ! DH is a social butterfly thats fine off you go darling see you later! It is nice being independant it brings a certain amount of peace I find.

I'm 35 and always enjoyed my own company, even as a child/teenager but the last few months I just want to be alone.

I think it's a combination of DH working from home ALL the time, Ds is 5 and gorgeous but full on and doesn't seem to stop unless he's asleep, plus going a back to work when Ds started school and as a result I have much less 'downtime'.

I can relate so much with most of your posts. I’ve always been the same. My friends are my dogs.

This has reminded me of the old bookshop in Birmingham which had lots of reading nooks and crannies.

Usually there was room for 2 or 3 in them. You'd choose your book enter a nook, you and the occupant(s) would smile and nod and you'd settle down in companionable silence.

Bliss.

I'm similar. 46 and lockdown really opened my eyes to how little I actually want/need to socialise. I love my own company, being quiet and spending time with my kids. The point about alcohol is really relevant to me. Ive realised I have used it all my life to get over social anxiety and be the 'last man standing' party girl, which is not who I am at all.

Should add I have some wonderful close friends and love spending time with them, it's the wider group/big parties/constant chatter that I can do without. I'm also really interested in the world/people, I just increasingly need quiet downtime, alone. Being an introvert doesn't equal being a misanthrope.