I am a cliché

[ablutiions]

Standing on the service station forecourt doing a few yogic stretches on our drive to holiday, I realised that I'm a cliché:

Middle aged Londoner, heading for a West Country holiday in my small eco friendly(ish) car, wearing a Boden cardi, and 'trendy' mum trainers with a flowery real cotton face mask dangled from my wrist. having eaten sourdough toast for breakfast. Oh, and carrying a chilly water bottle, natch.

And usually I'd be in France, but you know, Covid and all that.

Anyone else a walking cliché?

I’m not sure there’s much inverted snobbery on here. No one objects to you actually wearing boden or (oh my gosh) going on holiday to Italy whilst owning a Range Rover!! (Gasps).

It’s literally just the unsubtle bragging about expensive things and lame attempt to pass it off as self deprivation which is painful. If you want to brag, just brag openly!

And no, the objections are not because others are envious or can’t do the same. Although am sure some on here are literally salivating at the idea of someone poorer reading their long brag lists and feeling bad about what they don’t have.

I guess every generation has its share of Hyacinth Buckets.

Completely outside of the thread discussion but @Badouchka1 we are Downloaders too! Lucky enough to go to the pilot earlier this year and loved the smaller vibe (although can't wait for next year). We've not long been back from another smaller festival in Wales which was amazing and have already booked for next year too. You've probably heard of it already but give Steelhouse a look

This thread's definitely been revealing, and not in a good way, of how hung up on class British society is. Of course it exists in other countries too, but its prominence here leaves most of my American and European friends scratching their heads. It's also weird how something can cause so much angst when it's pretty much indefinable. 'Class' (I can't stand that word) isn't all about socio-economic background, or 'take a look at what I can afford and you can't'. Anyone can crush an avocado and make toast. Opera isn't restricted to the £300 seats at Covent Garden: the North's full of great companies where you can have a fab night out at a steal. This whole idea that 'families like ours do/don't do that because X class' is anathema to me. You can like football, and opera, and trash TV, and German expressionist cinema, and Metallica, and avocado, and fried egg sandwiches, all at the same time. There's no rule book anywhere.

It's real, though. It affects people's prospects materially so it can't be a figment of people's imagination. But what do people look at and judge? Money? Family connections? Private vs. state education? Regional accent? Your whole catalogue of hobbies and interests? Artistic capability? Books? Taste, and little slogans on your wall? What's in your wardrobe? The best one is 'being adorably scatty'. I'm not computing to any way in which that relates to 'social status?'

Beats me, and I care less. But it strikes me how similar this thread is the home decor ones saying hot tubs in the garden and twigs indoors and little lights spelling out the word 'Gin' are unforgivably naff. God forbid we're seen indulging in any of these declasse foibles (and who cares, anyway?)

What does seem is that some of us seem to have lost that great British trait: the ability to laugh at ourselves. It was supposed to be a harmless bit of fun.

Thanks OP for an interesting exercise in people-watching. Enjoy your holiday stuff.

@TheOnlyMrsW

Completely outside of the thread discussion but *@Badouchka1* we are Downloaders too! Lucky enough to go to the pilot earlier this year and loved the smaller vibe (although can't wait for next year). We've not long been back from another smaller festival in Wales which was amazing and have already booked for next year too. You've probably heard of it already but give Steelhouse a look

I'm a +1 for that: my brother and me always did this together but we haven't been seen DC was born. We've already agreed to have a post-Covid shout, as soon as those who had tickets for the cancelled ones have had their turn!

Happy days, and the rose-tinted glasses of nostalgia are beckoning! (Not camping though, there I do draw the line! Too much mud and we are far too old!)

@Dramalady52

Loving all the middle class cliches being sent up here. I'm a different cliche as I'm heading towards being a #1 Fiesty Old woman. The one the kids think is surprising cool, her conversation flirts with straight out rudeness and even more often flirts with flirting! I find myself saying "ooh, young man!" far too often

Love this!

I am a European living in the UK and I like thinking that, because of my expat status, I am automatically exempt from categories and cliches. I also see myself as "not so well off" as I am surrounded by wealthier, more affluent people, living in Oxford.

Well, I might be wrong. 4/5 semi-detached house in the countryside, I grow vegetables in the garden, and love and wear nice quality clothing. I exercise with my spinning bike in the conservatory (Peloton classes) and relax meditating with Neil's Yard essential oils in my bedroom diffuser. SUCH. A. CLICHE.

This wouldn't be so bad if I had always been bland. Proper "rebel" teen here, into rock and alternative music. I have become a cliche despite fighting against cliches all my youth, which is what stings the most!

@peaceanddove

Hell yeah, I'm clichéd up to the hilt and love it.

Privately and university educated. Happily married to a successful company director. Both teenage daughters attended a top performing village primary, followed by a top performing girls' grammar school. Eldest DD off to art school this September to study Fine Art & Photography.

We live in a big Georgian house, in the middle of a naice village. Interiors are all about Farrow & Ball and John Lewis, with Laura Ashley curtains (I paid extra to have the curtains hand finished by someone called Blodwen at their Welsh factory, which is the height of privileged twattery). We have a cleaner and a gardener, obvs.

Groceries come from Waitrose or M&S or Cook, but we eat out a lot at the weekend. I have just started yoga in the village and obviously look a complete cliche in my Boden yoga gear + matching yoga mat (yes, really).

We should have been on holiday in the Italian Lakes last month, but because of Covid we booked a frou frou Shepherd's Hut in Cornwall instead - of course it had an outdoor firepit and a Gaggia coffee machine. Obviously, I packed my Seasalt bretons, my Lotta from Stockholm clogs and my Toast white linen shirts (because, yes, I have an actual Cornwall holiday wardrobe as opposed to my Italian holiday wardrobe which is a tad more glamorous).

Right now, I'm wearing silk mix, paisley PJs which I 'sourced' (not just bought) from Etsy while drinking coffee and chatting with DD2 about her possibly doing a year out in Paris to polish her French as she wants to study French + Economics at university. Luckily, my cousin's DH is French and they keep a bijou apartment in Paris where she can stay. Which is nice.

[implodes in a torrent of her own clichéd cuntiness]

You win! Peak cliche twattery achieved!

I used to wish I was a bit more of a cliche - easy to find your tribe and all that. Never quite fit neatly into any circles; people always told me they couldn’t place me. As I’m growing more comfortable with myself and now living in a more open-minded area it’s no longer an issue, but when I lived in middle England, the lack of cliche signifiers in a highly conforming, suffocating town was quite unpleasant and isolating. There is indeed comfort in being a cliche. That’s why teenagers follow trends and why everyone claim “I’m not like most girls” and end up being “most girls”.
I now do quite like surprising people. I like to see their faces drop when they realised their preconceptions based on appearances were erroneous.

[quote ablutiions]@RickOShay because I speak (rubbish) french? Speaking even a little of the local language makes visiting another country so much easier. It's relevant to my choice of holiday destination. I mentioned it because it's relevant.

And FYI I learned it at a very rubbish,poor performing state primary school 🤷‍♂️

[/quote]
I really do have to probe.

In the post above this one I'm quoting you say you "speak the language", which is why you like to holiday in France.

When someone suggested that it was amusing to see that you had "shoehorned" your linguistic skill in, you post the self depreciating rubbish that you learned it at a "rubbish" state primary school.

Come come, now, that is ballhoooks.

No-one -in the history of the world-claims to "Speak the language" on the basis of what they learned in primary school, especially the sort of school you describe.

They sing "Frere Jacques" and a few words at most, certainly not enough to say they "speak" French to the extent that it forms a reason for holidaying there.

You have jumped the shark.

So, I wonder how much other tall tales you've spun to make others feel a bit shit.

Yay!! That’s my comfort zone, mud, Jack Daniels and metal! I didn’t go to the pilot, felt too nervous, probably silly! We’ve been going for about 11 years solid, COVID ruined the run, have SO missed my festivals, especially Download. I’ll have to start back on smaller festivals and work my way up, if it’s on next year (it should be!) then I’m not missing another! X

@peaceanddove

Hell yeah, I'm clichéd up to the hilt and love it.

Privately and university educated. Happily married to a successful company director. Both teenage daughters attended a top performing village primary, followed by a top performing girls' grammar school. Eldest DD off to art school this September to study Fine Art & Photography.

We live in a big Georgian house, in the middle of a naice village. Interiors are all about Farrow & Ball and John Lewis, with Laura Ashley curtains (I paid extra to have the curtains hand finished by someone called Blodwen at their Welsh factory, which is the height of privileged twattery). We have a cleaner and a gardener, obvs.

Groceries come from Waitrose or M&S or Cook, but we eat out a lot at the weekend. I have just started yoga in the village and obviously look a complete cliche in my Boden yoga gear + matching yoga mat (yes, really).

We should have been on holiday in the Italian Lakes last month, but because of Covid we booked a frou frou Shepherd's Hut in Cornwall instead - of course it had an outdoor firepit and a Gaggia coffee machine. Obviously, I packed my Seasalt bretons, my Lotta from Stockholm clogs and my Toast white linen shirts (because, yes, I have an actual Cornwall holiday wardrobe as opposed to my Italian holiday wardrobe which is a tad more glamorous).

Right now, I'm wearing silk mix, paisley PJs which I 'sourced' (not just bought) from Etsy while drinking coffee and chatting with DD2 about her possibly doing a year out in Paris to polish her French as she wants to study French + Economics at university. Luckily, my cousin's DH is French and they keep a bijou apartment in Paris where she can stay. Which is nice.

[implodes in a torrent of her own clichéd cuntiness]

Please tell me this post is a pisstake :o

I am so middle class that I went to Brittany THIS YEAR ! Oh la la lar beat that. Wearing Petit Bateau. Boden is quite common.

And going to Cornwall later on in the holiday.

Sadly, @EmmalineC, she's let herself down by wearing silk mix pyjamas, which I consider to be a bit low class.

I can’t figure out whether this thread is lighthearted or not

Hello @SailYourShips

The school was not great, but the french teaching was good. The head and his wife were huge francophiles and we all learned French from aged 4/5 and spoke it regularly at school. So that's 7 years of teaching for me at an age when learning language is much easier. So yes, my french learning mostly came from primary school. I spectacularly failed O level though.

No jumping of shark tanks here, I'm no Fonz

@PunishmentSnart me neither. It was meant to be lighthearted though. It's good to take the piss out of yourself sometimes.

I think I'm a semi-cliche. Married to a city worker who earns enough for both of us, yet I work part time and volunteer (a lot, not just PTA stuff) and also run the home in as economical way as I can, having been brought up to be careful with money. DCs go to local village schools. We do live in a bigger house than we need, but it's pretty ugly and needs a lot of work. I do yoga and visit the refill shop but we eat far too much supermarket meat and the DC watch too much TV. We should be in France but are on holiday currently in a middling desirable UK spot (I grew up here and think it's lovely if a bit cold) in an Air Bnb we found last minute, with mice and no hairdryer. We're having a great time. Not sure if that makes me a cliche or not!

@PunishmentSnart

I can’t figure out whether this thread is lighthearted or not

depends on whether you found Hyacinth Bucket’s quest to ensure everyone knew how ‘middle class’ she was amusing or not.

Sorry if anyone thought us readers were fooled 😆 other people determine class, not you I’m afraid. That’s the annoying thing and Hyacinth discovered herself - no matter how much you tell others you’re middle class, the very need to tell defeats the desired perception.

Most of the posts are bit more fun but there are a few unpleasant ones - but if read with Hyacinth voice in your head then they make much more sense - just replace name of current aspirational brand/destination with ‘Royal Doulton’ and it is just another Hyacinth with no self-awareness speaking.

Please tell me this post is a pisstake grin

I’d love to know too!
peaceanddoveplease tell me you are a character writer for film & tv!
If not, you should be!

If peace is the poster I think she is, then she used to say she would right a book - but like most middle class cliche mums - never actually did
Think she works as a receptionist?

*write

Really hoping I just didn't get the memo and this thread is a pisstake... is it?

Please tell me it is, otherwise I will just lose all faith in humanity here and now...

No matter how much you tell others you’re middle class, the very need to tell defeats the desired perception.

This.
The Op was trying to be funny and actually yes the description was every other MC Mum on school holidays heading to the SW.
The other poster is the usual embellishment, pinch of salt advised

@ablutiions

Hello *@SailYourShips*

The school was not great, but the french teaching was good. The head and his wife were huge francophiles and we all learned French from aged 4/5 and spoke it regularly at school. So that's 7 years of teaching for me at an age when learning language is much easier. So yes, my french learning mostly came from primary school. I spectacularly failed O level though.

No jumping of shark tanks here, I'm no Fonz

@PunishmentSnart me neither. It was meant to be lighthearted though. It's good to take the piss out of yourself sometimes.

Well, that may be true but it isn't easily believed!

How awful to be a fluent French speaker from such a young age and then fail 'O' level...not even gain a pass.

Still, at least it's come in handy now all these years later.

It seems terrible that you were a fluent French speaker because of excellent teaching from the age of 4, but failed your O level?
Did you never learn to read or write it?.