I am a cliché

[ablutiions]

Standing on the service station forecourt doing a few yogic stretches on our drive to holiday, I realised that I'm a cliché:

Middle aged Londoner, heading for a West Country holiday in my small eco friendly(ish) car, wearing a Boden cardi, and 'trendy' mum trainers with a flowery real cotton face mask dangled from my wrist. having eaten sourdough toast for breakfast. Oh, and carrying a chilly water bottle, natch.

And usually I'd be in France, but you know, Covid and all that.

Anyone else a walking cliché?

@allycat4

These threads are excruciating.

False self-deprecation.

Right? Completely insufferable humblebragging

Why do you have to wear Boden and what's so good about it?
My Biden cardi was a charity shop purchase. I wear little Boden ( partly because it is a cliche, partly because it is rather expensive IIMHO). I was stating Boden to illustrate the point that my outfit was pretty much like a lot of other peoples. I had M&S undies on as well and Sainsbury's socks.

Why is buying local bread/local or organic fruit middle class?
It's just is. Mainly because it's so fecking expensive. I love it I because Iit lasts for ages without going mouldy, and the fermented nature of it is good for my dodgy guts.

Why do you need Farrow & Ball when another brand would look the same?Or is it genuinely life changing quality? I have Dukix or Johnston's mixed to posh paint colours because others are easier to paint with (and far less expensive). I do love a look at F&b colour charts to laugh at the ridiculous names though.

What's with the coffee machines, is there a pecking order of brands?
I have a cafetière

Where do you 'have' to go on holiday and what is the purpose of that? No idea about have to, we chose what we like and enjoy. France, near, speak the language, love the food and people. Beautiful countryside. And it hardly ever rains in summer. It's been raining here in England half the bloody summer and is soooooo cold.

What's the thing about different breads? Have you ever tried to eat a fish finger sandwich with sourdough? Bloody awful. some things just need bog standard white sliced, some granary and some rye. Sainsbury's cheese topped baps are a thing of wonder.

* Why the specific fitness brands if they don't give you more support than most you can buy anywhere?*
I buy gap sports stuff. Great sales.

I remember people going on and on about Jo Malone candles. Is that still a big thing too? Never got into that.....

*Boden cardi, not Biden cardi. Can you image Joe Biden in a Boden cardi? A nice peach coloured one.

But why is it important to you @ablutiions?
You just managed to shoehorn speaking French in your pp?
Why?

@RickOShay

But surely it doesn’t really matter? Your soul is your soul. Whether you enjoy sourdough or white sliced bread is the least important thing about you. All this signalling about superficialities just reeks of insecurities. It’s ok to be you.

Of course it doesn't matter. But it is funny to see the tribes and behaviours, and to work out where you fit, where you don't and where you don't want to.

I love it when someone who is an apparent walking cliche then does or says something that totally doesn't fit.

People are complex, fascinating creatures, even when dressed virtually identically

We are all individuals.

@RickOShay because I speak (rubbish) french? Speaking even a little of the local language makes visiting another country so much easier. It's relevant to my choice of holiday destination. I mentioned it because it's relevant.

And FYI I learned it at a very rubbish,poor performing state primary school 🤷‍♂️

Do you find it tiring keeping up with other people like you?
Or a bit of fun?
Do you think it’s a game worth playing?
Thank you for replying

I think what I’m trying to say is what’s the point?
When you are all so busy dropping signifiers and stealth boasting, the people who stand out are the ones not playing, the ones who don’t say much are the ones you want to know more about.
Respectfully I don’t care about your schoolgirl French, I don’t care about your state or public school, or your clothes, your yoga, the colour of your walls, or what candles you like.
I am interested in your life experiences and who you are as a person. Your truth. Not your decorations.

@RickOShay me too. It's the people who count.

And no, it's not exhausting for me as I don't try to keep up, or care. I just know what I like to wear, and what looks good, and wear it. But I do find people watching fascinating, and seeing the tribal nature of us all is so obvious when you look for it. Ah, the fun of making shallow, sweeping generalisations (tell me none of you are guilty of that one tine or another )

I'm sad that you're not interested in my terrible french though it's so bad it can be entertaining, honestly ooh la la 🇫🇷

I really enjoyed reading this thread. The one thing I have always strived to achieve in my life is classlessness. I am a bit repelled by anything that I would make me a cliche. And the thought of trying to copy others to fit in is actually my worst nightmare. If I met you OP, I would probably write you off as someone I wouldn’t get on with based on your clothes and lifestyle choices. But you actually sound quite funny and nice, so I guess it is me who needs to be a bit more open minded. You wouldn’t catch me in Waitrose though, that’s for sure.

@RickOShay I once read- if you want attention at a beauty counter in a department store, wear a good bag; cos if you look like you can spend £££, the beauty counter ladies would give you more attention; they would rather spend more time doing a makeover for a woman who can clearly afford to spend hundreds than try to chat up random women. I think that's the function of most class signifiers. People want friends who have similar budgets. If you want to go on holiday with someone and want to go to a specific place, it wouldn't work if you have radically different ideas on budget i.e. my mother in law still goes to youth hostels at 58 and can't imagine why anyone would want to go to anything but, I go to hotels- everything from premier Inn to 5 star, my parents refuse to go to anything below 4 star. If we all wanted to go on a group holiday, we would have a problem. We once tried to book an Airbnb together to attend a wedding and it did not work out and even ended in an argument as my MIL wanted to pack 5 of us in the cheapest dingiest Airbnb she could find. Thankfully we are family so we have far more in common than hotel preferences or budgets! However, I can imagine most friends and acquaintances would not work out.

Needless to say, my MIL does not own any of the aforementioned brands. She would not spend more than supermarket prices on a cotton t shirt and was shocked I bought my DH a t shirt from Reiss at £20. So I guess if she meets a woman wearing a Boden dress (if she can even identify it), they probably shouldn't go to a restaurant or a holiday together as I don't think it would end well. Best to stick to meals at home, a cafe (mother in law brings her own teabags) or the park. Btw my MIL is middle class, she is just uninterested in material goods and has a low income. I love spending time with her but sadly going on holiday is a bit hard unless we are staying with family as we differ so much in terms of budget.

@ablutiions
But there is an element of completion though isn’t there?
Just peeking out from behind the artisan loaf and the chilly bottle. And that’s the rub. Because it can feel you have to maintain an image of how successful and adorably scatty or whatever it is, your life is, when underneath, things may not be as they seem.

@RickOShay *5 of us in 1 room in the Airbnb. There were 6 of us and DH and I were supposed to share with his grandfather and his sister! Cos she wanted to save money and she didn't want DH and I to top up the budget either cos she was convinced this was what accomodation should cost! DH and I got a hotel room by ourselves instead but MIL was upset I think.

[quote RickOShay]@ablutiions
But there is an element of completion though isn’t there?
Just peeking out from behind the artisan loaf and the chilly bottle. And that’s the rub. Because it can feel you have to maintain an image of how successful and adorably scatty or whatever it is, your life is, when underneath, things may not be as they seem.[/quote]
Bloody hell, I thought this was a light hearted, taking the piss out of ourselves thread, not a therapy session

Some people on this thread clearly revel in their stereotype & just want the opportunity to brag.

I think the tribalistic thing is interesting though. I wouldn't wear Boden or Mulberry etc as I personally I think mc fashion is not fashion however me picking independent brands & skandi clothes for my dc just make me part of another tribe. Many people have the same household brands because that's what you get in John Lewis & who doesn't love John Lewis??

I once read- if you want attention at a beauty counter in a department store, wear a good bag; cos if you look like you can spend £££, the beauty counter ladies would give you more attention; they would rather spend more time doing a makeover for a woman who can clearly afford to spend hundreds than try to chat up random women.

Jesus. If only this was true.
Do I look ‘wealthy’ and makeover material in my Birkenstock’s & T-shirt’s, a good 8 stone overweight with greying hair?
I have to bat them away if I dare to browse.

I absolutely cringed at the opening post.

I'm sorry, but it read to me like a very ordinary person who's been studying weekend magazine supplements for a good year or two and has now finally absorbed what the current trends are and wanted to excitedly tell everyone

Thoroughly enjoyed this thread. Yes, there is some stealth boasting and snobbery on here, but what really annoys me is the ‘inverted snobbery’ tribe. It’s really not a pleasant trait and reeks of envy and bitterness.

@weekend2021

Thoroughly enjoyed this thread. Yes, there is some stealth boasting and snobbery on here, but what really annoys me is the ‘inverted snobbery’ tribe. It’s really not a pleasant trait and reeks of envy and bitterness.

I was just coming to say this. Many many threads on here descend in to competitive “I really don’t care” posts. Anytime people post about spending money on weddings, handbags, new coats etc people come on to say things like “I use a Sainsbury’s carrier bag and it’s lasted 10 years and anything else is a terrible waste of money”

It’s just as snobby to judge people on what they spend their money on the other way

It also means these people are a massive cliche of their own, they just don’t see it in their own eagerness to be different

I agree about inverted snobbery. Just as awful as actual snobbery.
It’s the underlying competitive element to both that I find bewildering. Z

I certainly don't love John Lewis.. they closed the store in my city. :-(
Not that I ever went much anyway.. I've never been in a Boden, what's the big deal? Clothes are clothes..mine were all bought years ago in sales & stuffed in my wardrobe until I needed them, and thank goodness I did, with the big smocky dresses that seem to be in vogue now.. :-0 I basically live in jeans anyway. (Erin bootcut ones from Simply Be etc as they are stretchy and COMFY, in case you're interested.)
Jumpers & tops are from wherever has a sale that I can get things under a tenner. It really doesn't MATTER to me. Mind, I don't personally have a 'tribe', am too busy looking after family with special needs to care what folk think of me.
I get home and CHILL.. alone.. blissful! No wine, no posh water bottle, a glass of innocent smoothie & a ciggie & I'm in Heaven.. :-)

I have to agree with pp about those beauty counters. It doesn't matter what I wear or what bag I carry, they're on me like Longleat monkeys on a Ford Mondeo.

If there is a term more annoying than “wanky” (look at me and my self deprecating awareness) it’s “tribe” or worse “my tribe”

Unless we’ve all teleported back to Ancient Britain of course

This thread reminds me of a former (public schoolboy) boss of mine in the UK who told me “never forget; you might have a PhD but you’ll always be just a girl from Birmingham”.

I emigrated 11 years ago and now live in Switzerland. I’ve been feeling a little homesick having not visited for nearly two years due to Covid. This thread has helped cure that somewhat! I’d forgotten how revolting the British class system could be.

I'm going to sign off now to go and do holiday stuff.

Thankyou so much to everyone who shared their own cliches. Really enjoyed reading them (and laughing at them ) Glad to know I'm not the only wanker here in the vipers nest