I am a cliché

[ablutiions]

Standing on the service station forecourt doing a few yogic stretches on our drive to holiday, I realised that I'm a cliché:

Middle aged Londoner, heading for a West Country holiday in my small eco friendly(ish) car, wearing a Boden cardi, and 'trendy' mum trainers with a flowery real cotton face mask dangled from my wrist. having eaten sourdough toast for breakfast. Oh, and carrying a chilly water bottle, natch.

And usually I'd be in France, but you know, Covid and all that.

Anyone else a walking cliché?

I live in the West Country next to a farm, and talk like one of The Wurzels.

I’m also a very stereotypical aspie. Proper textbook one.

I am a walking cliche of my age and profession. I often roll my eyes at myself!

Did you have 'crushed' advocado on your sourdough toast? It has to be called crushed, not mashed, squashed or bashed

@MoreSoupVicar I didn't today. But usually I do. Smashed with chilli flakes and a splash of lime juice

My god I'm such a wanker

West Country? You missed the memo about Northumberland? It was crawling with what I now call 'roof box' types. Arrgghh.

I'll join you in the wankery then
Fresh croissants for breakfast with strawberry conserve, note - not jam, and real coffee, sitting on the terrace wearing proper sheepskin slippers (sourced from a small family business, I love that part 🤣) that are as far removed from uggs as you can get
Us wankers stand proud, shoulder to shoulder

Early 30s ex Londoners moved to a small market town.

This morning my husband mowed the lawn and has just taken our toddler to rugby. Afterwards they will pop into Waitrose to pick up a few remaining bits as we're hosting friends this weekend.

Our specially ordered steak has arrived, and I've just finished making Nigella's olive oil chocolate mousse. Have also made a risotto for said toddler, as we will be Bbq-ing once he's in bed (we can do that now because we have a garden, not a balcony in the London flat.)

Before the Bbq my husband will use his new tortilla press to make fresh corn tortillas. Our only current struggle is a lack of fresh oregano to go in the chimmichurri I plan to make later.

Cliche achieved.

I had such a moment about 10 years ago.
In Waitrose, wearing a Joules tweed jacket, having just booked a skiing holiday from my very nice, tidy, conventional detached house.
I had a moment. As the op said, called myself a wanker.
Following year I left husband, moved into my own little Gin Palace and started living a more 'me' life.
I'm not deciding the cliche I described, btw, it just wasn't me and I had to break free!!

Another sourdoug- toast- with crushed/smashed/bashed-avo- water. Also im a Vegan, yoga going, meditating, vintage clothes wearer.
Wanker

Eater, not water ffs

Aah it all sounds so lovely - I aspire to be a middle class cliche

Alas, I still live in a crap flat and eat boring toast (50/50 with spreadable butter) Maybe by the time I'm 40 crossed fingers

Surrey mum drove DC on the paper round this morning whilst drinking nice coffee and tutting at the Daily Mail headlines. Polluting wanker.

Hell yeah, I'm clichéd up to the hilt and love it.

Privately and university educated. Happily married to a successful company director. Both teenage daughters attended a top performing village primary, followed by a top performing girls' grammar school. Eldest DD off to art school this September to study Fine Art & Photography.

We live in a big Georgian house, in the middle of a naice village. Interiors are all about Farrow & Ball and John Lewis, with Laura Ashley curtains (I paid extra to have the curtains hand finished by someone called Blodwen at their Welsh factory, which is the height of privileged twattery). We have a cleaner and a gardener, obvs.

Groceries come from Waitrose or M&S or Cook, but we eat out a lot at the weekend. I have just started yoga in the village and obviously look a complete cliche in my Boden yoga gear + matching yoga mat (yes, really).

We should have been on holiday in the Italian Lakes last month, but because of Covid we booked a frou frou Shepherd's Hut in Cornwall instead - of course it had an outdoor firepit and a Gaggia coffee machine. Obviously, I packed my Seasalt bretons, my Lotta from Stockholm clogs and my Toast white linen shirts (because, yes, I have an actual Cornwall holiday wardrobe as opposed to my Italian holiday wardrobe which is a tad more glamorous).

Right now, I'm wearing silk mix, paisley PJs which I 'sourced' (not just bought) from Etsy while drinking coffee and chatting with DD2 about her possibly doing a year out in Paris to polish her French as she wants to study French + Economics at university. Luckily, my cousin's DH is French and they keep a bijou apartment in Paris where she can stay. Which is nice.

[implodes in a torrent of her own clichéd cuntiness]

These threads are excruciating.

False self-deprecation.

I'm laughing so much at these. As my DH drives, you understand. Men always drive long distances in wanker land don't they ?

@camomila you can still be a cliché , just not a boden-avo one.

Not sure if that helps.

@peace. I've been out wankered, spectacularly.

The one thing on top of the wankery above that always makes me feel like an utter cliche is my packet of sertraline.

Off you sod then @alley

@sar302

Early 30s ex Londoners moved to a small market town.

This morning my husband mowed the lawn and has just taken our toddler to rugby. Afterwards they will pop into Waitrose to pick up a few remaining bits as we're hosting friends this weekend.

Our specially ordered steak has arrived, and I've just finished making Nigella's olive oil chocolate mousse. Have also made a risotto for said toddler, as we will be Bbq-ing once he's in bed (we can do that now because we have a garden, not a balcony in the London flat.)

Before the Bbq my husband will use his new tortilla press to make fresh corn tortillas. Our only current struggle is a lack of fresh oregano to go in the chimmichurri I plan to make later.

Cliche achieved.

Sounds wonderful. Can I come 😜

@imcat but judging by your username you have fluffy ones to help calm and relax you too ?

Bloody love my moggies (no wankery pedigrees here )

@living. Yea all over to yours. I will bring a bottle of something nice (that definitely is not Prosecco )

[quote ablutiions]@imcat but judging by your username you have fluffy ones to help calm and relax you too ?

Bloody love my moggies (no wankery pedigrees here ) [/quote]
I have a ragdoll😭😂😭😂

ablutiions I suppose I am a fairly cliched Brightonian, my DC have "wanky" names, DS1s favourite sandwich filling is hummus, and we went foraging the other day (blackberries and one not-ripe apple).