How long did it take you to find your ‘tribe’?

[LunaDeet]

We moved to a new county about 5 years ago with a non sleeping baby. She’s at school now, and I’m still struggling to make any meaningful relationships here. I have one school gates Mum friend and we have met twice this summer, more for the girls though really.

So, how long did it take you to find your tribe in a new place? I was thinking of giving it one more year, then moving closer to some family and old friends. My old friendships are sustaining me at the moment.

I’m pretty happy and personable, but it’s taking it’s toll a bit now. I really don’t want to uproot my family at all, but we nearly moved for economic reasons last year and the seed was planted. I feel we’re in a bit of a golden window where the school change will be fine if we do it soon.

My partner has always said if it’s not working for all of us then we can make a change, but I’ve always been so sure I’d get there eventually.

Any thoughts?

Do you mean make friends?

I’m not sure I’ve ever ‘found my tribe’.

It takes a while for sure. But not 5 years. Especially if you’ve had a baby - 90% of my friends have been made through babies and primary school days.

My tribe were all at my work, OP - I never really clicked with school gate mothers as I had nothing much in common with stay at home parents, and in fact rarely saw them, as the nanny walked the DDs to school for a few weeks until they were happy to go by themselves.
Now I’m retired, I have truly found my tribe. I am a late diagnosed autistic, and my local bridge club is full of us! It’s so comfortable to be with non NT people, who experience life the same way I do.