Can someone please talk to me - I'm really struggling.

[Notgettingbetter]

I'm in a really bad place with my depression. Locked myself in the bathroom for a cry. I've tried so hard today - eventually go out of bed, did a bit of washing up. Trying to play with my little girl but I'm a mess.

Hello, well done for getting up and for interacting. You're doing really well. Do you have anyone at all who you can call to come round for an hour? Pop cbeebies and make a cup.of tea with some sugar in. Sit down, and breathe.

Good advice from Swifey there. I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling, I know how hard it is.
Are you taking anything for your depression?

Are you a sole parent? Do you get any respite from being a mother And? And how old is dd?
The samaritans are amazing to speak to if you need a conversation with someone who is not in 'real life'.

There's no one. My partner is actually at home too. He is now playing with her.

I just don't know what to do with myself. I've been seeing a counsellor for a few weeks. Four weeks ago my doctor switched me to a new antidepressant. I know it can take a while to help but I'm finding every day really difficult.

It's hard to keep going when you're feeling low. You should be proud of yourself for getting up and taking care of your little one. Do you feel up to going out for a short walk, maybe take her to the park? I find fresh air always helps me feel a bit better x

Tell someone you’re close to that you’re feeling depressed.
Make a doctors appointment if you’re not already on medication.
Go out for a walk with your daughter.
They’d be my top 3 pieces of advice for now.

OK, so I you've got someone there, can you throw on a pair of trainers and go for a ten minute walk. Doesn't matter what you look like or who sees you, but a bit of fresh air will help, I promise, its just the effort to get yourself out of the door, but take a deep breath and try.

I've told my partner. He is keeping an eye on our daughter while she potter's about.

I just wish I knew I'd start feeling better soon. I keep giving myself points in time to hang on until, then when I reach it I have to move it again.

Yes I thought I should go for a walk. Not sure I can.

On a going forward note, I would give the Dr a call anyway, and say that you are struggling, you should be feeling a bit better by now.

I really feel for you. Trying to function can be so bloody challenging when you're feeling so low.

I always feel a bit better if I have a shower and try to make myself look at least presentable. Even when I really can't be arsed. I try and distract myself with things like a half hour of comedy, doing a puzzle (I like sudoku) or reading. Something that kind of needs you to concentrate is good for me.

Sometimes just being in physical contact can soothe me. If I'm with someone, just having a long hug, or cwtching together on the sofa can help me.

I hope you find something that helps you.

Are you in the town or country? Could you try just to go to the shop and buy a magazine or chocolate, something that's a treat, but also is a little walk there just to try and blow the cobwebs away so to speak.
You could always walk and phone the samaritans, then you could talk and get endorphins at the same time? Sending big hugs 🫂

I got out of the house. Sitting by the river now. My little girl cried like she heartbroken when I left (very much a mummy's girl). I feel bad and I worry that my poor mental health is affecting her. That I don't play with her enough and it makes her more clingy.

I've told myself to hang on until I've been on the new meds for six weeks then ask the doc if we should increase the dose again (he already increased it once two weeks ago).

I feel like it's doing nothing at all and I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere with counselling. I saw a different counsellor a few years ago and found that really helpful. But I was also on a different antidepressant back then - it stopped working for me a few months ago.

Is your depression triggered by something specific 🤔 or has it been worse since you had dd?

I've never had great mental health. The past few years have been really hard. Pregnancy, birth and dd's first year were all pretty awful. I was taking antidepressants and seeing a counsellor. By the time DD reached 2 I was doing a lot better but then Covid came along. I've not coped well since and fell into my worst depression so far, this spring. I've been feeling terrible since and nothing is helping.

DD is 4. Starting school next month.

I'm not actively suicidal but multiple times a day I wish I could just die. I keep going for DD.

Thank you everyone for the replies.

I know it's possible, even likely, that it will improve at some point. It's just so very hard in the meantime.

This is a really good practical list of little, very little, steps you can take to help in those extremely low moments. twitter.com/silverpebble/status/1356150739668791297?s=20
Depression is absolutely excruciating - but it won't always feel this awful.
You mentioned sitting by the river. If by some small chance it's the Thames and you are in the Reading area, I'm around for coffee/a chat/a brief walk if you need to talk to someone who has been there.

Oh, and well done for getting out of the house. That's a real achievement when you're feeling so bad.
My heart goes out to you. X

What anti depressant are you taking? Maybe you need a different type? i have a little knowledge of depression. Try break your day into chunks of time. Do five minutes at a time but i think you need to at least speak to your gp as it should be starting to work now.

SignOnTheWindow that is so incredibly kind of you, you made me cry. Unfortunately I'm very far away from there. Thank you in any case.

Tomselleckhaskindeyes I'm taking venlafaxine. Sertraline before that.

Just wanted to offer a handhold OP. You're not alone